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This newspaper page contains 11 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Athens Messenger
Location
Athens, Ohio, United States of America
Date
Jan 26, 1888
Page
7
A column parodies dramatic plots of ruined fortunes and secret gold with a skeptical eye. It bits at a Syracuse cough syrup ad and a light classroom joke about a sister teaching a pug to chew gum, reflecting a mixture of satire and domestic anecdotes.
A crop sown between eighteen and twenty five years yields a broken constitution weak legs and a large trunk of mercurial preparations. The Dakota editor asks for ready pistols and a gatling gun as the press goes to print amid warnings on health and habit. A patient resists counsel to seek further medical advice while a doctor urges consultation.
A vignette recounts a man clinging to a lamp post to mail a letter in 1887 while claiming it is 1987, prompting a joking exchange with a passing officer and a flurry of misread years. A Kentucky Colonel’s bravado and a brutal turpentine remedy joke conclude the scene with wry humor.
An old dyspepsia expert extols Green's August Flower as a cure for indigestion and liver misery, claiming it reforms eating habits and boosts happiness. A separate Edinburgh sale features two women bidding up a Bible to 800 dollars, amid cheers, as heirs benefit from the dispute.
A Mobile, Alabama reader extols Dr King's New Discovery for consumption coughs and colds and reports instant relief after a severe tracheitis attack. He notes other remedies failed and mentions Electric Bitters and Dr King's Life Pills. Trial bottles are free at H K Dorr's drug store.
An advertisement touts a blood preparation as the best cure for blood diseases and purifies the system. It is offered by B. Henderson at an Indian industrial school in Tucson Arizona operated under a Presbyterian mission with partial government support.
The readable text is garbled and unclear. no coherent event, names, places, or dates can be established to summarize into a factual newspaper item.
General A. J. Warners, former Democratic Representative, voiced tariff and wage theory views at the Washington County Farmer's Institute in Marietta. He argued tariffs spread benefits across protected industries and warned free trade would disrupt capital profits. He also discussed sugar protection and potential tax changes to support state revenues.
Readers hear praise for Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets, claimed to cure biliousness liver issues and constipation with gentle yet thorough action. The copy contrasts quacks with a proven man whose remedies are celebrated amid growing scientific skepticism.
In a troubled note the speaker laments betrayal by Laura Bride-Augustine and mentions a disguise used in a tactic. The message, framed as a cry for help, cites a baseball mask as part of the deception in a Boston Post context.
The article notes Sister. Gov. Rippe of Kansas is regarded as a leading singer in the state and a potential successor to Gov. Martin. It also mentions Col. Mapleson once offering Kindle a $500 weekly salary after a private St. Louis reception, an offer he declined.
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