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Newspaper
Athens Messenger
Location
Athens, Ohio, United States of America
Date
Feb 22, 1883
Page
2
A collection of humorous, disconnected vignettes includes Creek Indians using orphan money for rifles, a Row over a Routt county candidate, a railcar tale in St Joseph with fiery heads, a weight loss twist in Austin, and a quackery critique by Missouri Governor Crittenden.
A reader reports Hood’s Sarsaparilla greatly aided her daughter with digestion and fatigue after using two bottles. The ad touts its supposed high concentration of strengthening ingredients and references testimonials from the Ottawa Times and a Baltimore newspaper. A free trial bottle is advertised at a drug store location.
The article urges immediate treatment at first signs of nervous exhaustion and mental impairment with eruna and Manalin, noting symptoms such as weak strength diet digestion and dim sight. It also reports a New Caste case of seduction where a 14 year old girl and a 15 year old boy are involved and the father punished the boy.
A lecturer cites Taquar as responsible for much misery in the world. An audience member retorts that he is unhappy when he cannot obtain it, highlighting a humorous exchange amid the health product notices. Wells Health Renew er advertised as a remedy, with Ohio Depot listed.
A politician proclaims a good act while a red nose and blotchy skin prompt a witty listener to suggest Swayne’s ointment. The boastful man follows the advice and becomes a living example of the remedy’s cure. Patti’s Detroit moment teased by Michigan’s cold water reputation.
A jumble of old patent medicine endorsements and quips appears from various places including Haycock Cleveland and Baltimore. The clippings mention Brown's Iron Bitters for chest and kidney pains, Dr Benson's Celery and Chamomile Pills, and a New York penitentiary anecdote with wartime questions, reflecting period promotional chatter and humorous exchanges.
A spirited editorial argues that South Carolina must resist federal interference and calls the National government an evil looming over the state. The piece praises a cure for kidney and liver diseases, endorsing Hunt's Remedy as a guaranteed treatment. It also notes legislative attempts to ban railroad passes and mocks anti monopoly posturing by lawmakers.
Dr J B Marchisi of Utica New York offers Catholicon a female remedy guaranteed to satisfy or money refunded. Claims cure of ovarian troubles inflammation ulceration and falling and bearing down sensations irregularities barrenness and changes of life with associated weaknesses sleeplessness nervous debility and heart palpitations. Price one dollar per bottle pamphlet free. Sold by E R Lush.
Local notice offering Dr. Marchisi Italian Pile Ointment with a money back guarantee curing internal external and itching piles at five cents a box. Also Rock Candy Cough Cure priced at twenty five cents and large bottles one dollar. Sold by E R Lash with refunds promised.
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