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This newspaper page contains 17 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Ames Times
Location
Ames, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Nov 05, 1908
Page
3
The piece surveys the sun and the solar system, noting sun size, distance, and composition with spectroscopic hints of elements like silicon and sodium. It compares light travel time to a railroad journey and mentions sun spots and theories of their origin, plus a tangential anecdote about President Grant and historic treasury law.
The article notes President Grant's lack of political experience and the need to unlearn military mindsets as he shapes civil governance. It cites cabinet nominations, ratified by the Senate without committee review, and mentions A. T. Stewart of New York among the confirmed nominees.
The collection includes A New System of English Grammar by Captain Derby, an early death depriving America of a witty humorist. Though less noticed than other pieces, this work sits among broadly amusing articles in the volume.
On a fine morning I walked down 33 clean avenue and met the 22 young and 85 charming Miss Smith. We exchanged the usual meteorological observation and spoke of health, which had been poor but is now good.
A Philadelphia lawyer Mr X admonishes staff and a conversation overheard in an elevator reveals an office boy named Tommy earning ten thousand dollars a year, followed by a witty retort about his pay as the exchange unfolds on the same floor.
A historical look shows early presidential candidates avoided public speechmaking to prevent fodder for opponents. Examples include General Scott whose phrases and a note about a soup fueled ridicule, while Lincoln spoke little publicly until after nomination and Garfield started the post nomination practice.
A delegation asks their employer's wife for a half holiday each Saturday and she questions their assumption about her understanding of her husband. The piece then expounds a method of rating adjectives from 1 to 100 to convey precise meaning, with example dialogue about health and an anecdote from Harper's Weekly.
London Answers notes the famous victory at Blenheim near the Danube, recounting John Churchill’s dukedom and his Oxfordshire palace. It mentions a £5000 annual pension kept by the present Duke of Marlborough and a fleur de lis flaglet over his ancestor’s bust in Windsor guardroom, tied to Blenheim estate tenure.
The article explains sailors lingo used by bluejackets from coast to coast. It defines terms like beachcomber, breaking it, ship over, rookie, mast call, lucky bag, sea lawyer, and God’s country. It notes phrases for saloon life, discipline, pay, and enlistments and recalls callers using naval slang in daily chatter.
Edwin and his mother walk on Sunday. She lowers a limb for him to pick cherries but forbids climbing the tree to keep the Sabbath. He quips that they are only cracking the Sabbath, while a Chinese proverb notes a clever man turns great trouble into little ones.
A wife, six months after her husband was killed by a railway train, sues the railway company for 25000 dollars. She had been married to him for seventeen years and called him a worthless husband in a confrontation cited in the case.
The humorous quip compares chagrin to a stout man trying to start a car that won’t turn over for half an hour. The exchange blends playful mispronunciations and urban slang in a light, witty vignette.
A burglar explains to a judge he entered the room at night unintentionally and took off his shoes after hearing someone inside the house.
Theodore has washed hands twice and returns for a second inspection. His mother notes both hands are equally dirty, while he explains he tried to even them after she said one was cleaner. He volunteers to wash again in a humorous childlike plea for fairness.
A Cleveland Leader fragment presents a dialog scene where an heiress quips about regret in a social exchange with a nobleman. The nobleman remarks on a purchase and the heiress notes she should have waited for her change signaling wit in a social encounter.
A young man warns he must sever ties unless his salary is raised, implying possible closure for the firm. The general manager thanks him for leaving and indicates he will not accede to the demand.
An amused incident in McLean County as Stephen A. Douglas, new prosecuting attorney, misspelled the county name as M Clean. Indictments faced quashing. Judge Logan postponed ruling until the county statute spelling was clarified. Douglas stood firm, awaiting the precise spelling.
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