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Newspaper
Ames Times
Location
Ames, Iowa, United States of America
Date
May 14, 1908
Page
7
The mistress dismisses simultaneous time off requests. One worker explains they plan to marry and must arrange time off. The exchange ends with a promise to inquire about possible scheduling.
A collection of moral verses and humorous anecdotes. Includes Tennyson’s lines on duty and glory, a judge’s quip about George Washington, and several comic anecdotes about scholars, professors, and frontier characters.
A Philadelphia family recalls a summer in the White Mountains. One girl asks Tom to remember the gorge, and he recalls the day they arrived and the memorable dinner. the remark ends with a hungry memory of the meal.
A diner witnesses a waiter spill tomato soup on a young woman at a restaurant. She calmly continues eating, impressing a man who later marries her. He recalls the event, praising her conduct, while she confesses a mischievous memory about marks on a bedpost. The anecdote appears in Ladies' Home Journal.
John Rogers, station master at Coupar Angus on the Caledonian Railway, described as a pious man and Burns society member, returns home from a dinner and, after undressing, kneels by the bed muttering incoherently. His wife asks if he feels unwell. he replies he is fine but cannot recall a single word of his prayers.
General Miles recalls a western anecdote in which a traveling preacher is served a sour, heavy crust apple pie. The beguiled clergyman extols the dish as excellent, prompting the strong impression on the baker’s skill and discretion in the family.
Joseph B. McCullagh at the St. Louis Globe-Democrat fired a late staffer who invented endless excuses. On his final tardy, the man explained a barber shop delay caused by a marching band. McCullagh, amused, offered him a chance to write fiction for the Sunday paper.
The wife of a U S army officer stationed in Cuba recently returned to Washington and attended a White House luncheon. She told vivid stories of her Cuban sojourn to a clearly amused president who expressed interest in visiting Cuba, prompting laughter among onlookers.
Lord Archibald Campbell seeks his father the Duke of Argyll's blessing on his engagement to Janet Callander. The duke expresses delight but suggests consulting Lorne first, noting the need to involve the princess. The exchange hints at family negotiations before formal approval.
A dialogue contrasts legal status and actual control in a family. A man is head by law while a woman asserts authority in practice, highlighting the difference between de jure and de facto leadership within the family unit.
A New York to New London train tale ends when a voluble girl praises Mrs Grover Cleveland and discovers her seatmate is the former First Lady. The woman offers a card reading Mrs Grover Cleveland, leaving the girl surprised as the train departs.
A man offers his seat to a woman and the woman insists the exchange is a duty owed to the sex, not to any single individual. The dialogue contrasts genuine politeness with social expectation, underscoring respectful conduct across gender.
A poor old man planting an apple tree is asked why he plants when he cannot eat the fruit. He replies that someone planted before him, he has eaten the fruit, and he now plants for others to show gratitude after his death.
An old Missouri woman rode her first train trip and asked a boy what the bell cord was for. He replied it rings for food. She pulled her umbrella on a trestle as the train slowed, causing confusion before the conductor arrived.
A compact aphorism echoes Longfellow on affection, arguing that true feeling nourishes the heart and returns as renewal. The text frames affection as a fountain whose waters cycle back to refresh the giver and recipient alike.
Two leading Memphis lawyers, longtime friends, faced off in a case. The tall elder, six feet four and fit, blundered into an irritant remark and felt a tug on his coat. He looked down to see his smaller foe wildly gesticulating and shouting that he was fighting.
In a southern federal court an old colored man stands trial for running an illicit still. The district attorney asks his name and the man replies Josh Hicks and a joke about Joshua making the sun stand still and the moon shine follows.
A young man and his ladylove attend a village church protracted meeting. Arriving late, they find the church full as a gentleman gives the lady his seat and the young man is ushered elsewhere. The minister asks if he seeks salvation, and he replies he is looking for Sal Jackson.
A freshman at Dartmouth College sought medical advice from a professor who refused payment saying students were never dog eat dog. The professor replied with a wry correction noting the phrase should be dog eat puppy.
Ex Senator Spooner recalls a Wisconsin court case where during cross examination a very young physician prompted opposing counsel to make sarcastic comments about the doctor’s grasp of his profession.
A courtroom dialogue asks if banging heads could cause concussion. The exchange playfully notes the defense counsel would likely suffer concussion, highlighting a humorous take on medical symptoms in legal argument.
A hunter asks a farmer for the station route and a quick witticism unfolds. A series of aphorisms imply social pretensions and hidden truths as a stage door keeper allows the governor past but directs the band away.
A Scotch gentleman dismisses a gardener for dishonesty but writes a characters note praising his output. He states the gardener served two years and produced more from the garden than any prior employee, a paradox reflecting shifting moral judgments.
Ex President Cleveland recalls an experience from his New York governorship. A public meeting was held at a theater where the governor and his staff were invited. The staff wore their finest uniforms with gold lace and cords. At the theater entrance a large crowd awaited, prompting a suggestion from someone in the party.
A young Mark Twain, then a struggling Atlantic County Herald writer, is challenged by a acquaintance who notes his constant cigar box and smoking. Twain replies he isn’t smoking more, but moving again, revealing a restless start to his career in the city.
The best man discovers a distressed runner up in the room of gifts. He asks if the bride has been kissed and receives the terse reply Not lately revealing more about the wedding mood and tensions.
The tale recalls Davy Crockett on Pennsylvania Avenue as a Virginia overseer leads a mule herd past. A Boston congressman jokes about Crockett’s constituents, who Crockett says are headed to Massachusetts to teach school.
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