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This newspaper page contains 20 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Ames Times
Location
Ames, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Dec 30, 1909
Page
8
A collage of verse and prose pieces on manners, humor, and social quirks. Bits include flirtatious sentiment under mistletoe, jokes about tariffs and market life, dialect vignettes, proverbs, and holiday cheer. The piece closes with a Christmas exchange of wishes.
A southern paper surveys weddings under Matrimonial Ventures noting marriage as a lottery. The piece recounts Peoria's mad dog scare and a Rev. Mason misstep while shopping. It also critiques Ruth St Denis as dancing avant garde and reflects on photography and early X ray ideas in Dimock’s satirical note.
A satirical note from the Register and Leader mocks a headline about Pye taking Fleming's role and jokes about filling any position with enough Pye.
In a downtown cafe two old college friends reminisce. One asks how to reach Jim, learning he is dead but the undertaker rents him a line. The joke hinges on calling the undertaker to reach a dead friend through an always open office.
The custom of sounding taps over graves began with Captain John Tidball of the U S Army. After the Peninsula Campaign in August 1862 and while the Horse Battery A Second Artillery served with the rear guard at Yorktown, a cannoneer died and was buried there. To avoid alerting the enemy by three gun rounds, Tidball ordered taps and lights out, a ceremony now observed at military funerals.
The article explains how bright stars form constellations named after animals and figures. It guides learners to use star maps, observe nightly shifts, and locate the Pole star via the Great Bear and the pointer stars.
A witty exchange features Mr Canning asked why Spring Gardens gates are 80 narrow. He replies with a humorous quip, noting that such very fat people used to pass through.
A hostess explains a guest is a social botanist invited to focus attention on wallflowers. The guest asks what that means and the hostess clarifies the field and its social aim.
The Duchess of Chartres, ally of American liberty and friend of naval hero Paul Jones, hosted a Paris banquet in his honor. She gifted a grandfather’s watch, and Jones vowed to “lay an English frigate at her feet” if fortune favored him. He later honored the pledge after Bonhomme Richard's victory.
Edith aged ten plans gift packages for Christmas. A doctor jokingly calls a packet to Uncle John a diagnostic clue. He explains a diagnostician is a good guesser, and Edith answers confidently that she knows the term.
The knight of the sea describes a British frigate named the Serapis and its commander Captain the Hon. Richard Pearson. He states the HKongiish frigate is now at Lorient under French colors and he yields the sword of the brave officer to a woman as part of a two year old pledge.
A physician waits for his first patient and muses on seeking patients. He tails a cucumber buyer home, but the man rejects care and asks for more cucumbers instead, ending with a brusque no and a demand for cucumbers.
The Atchison Globe reports a green elect official neglects to provide extra storage for his bride's linen. It urges timely building, noting a wife’s duty to manage a household discreetly and properly with the mother urging frugality and respect for etiquette as a daughter marries.
Dr A F Thomson relays a romantic tale from Mills about how the myosotis flower earned the name forget me not. A knight dives for the plant to please his lady, fails to reach shore, discards the blossoms, calls to her not to forget him, and drowns, leaving the lake as his final mark.
Silas laments a stolen cord of wood while his friend jokes about forgetting the incident. A judge chimes in recalling the church choir singing The Lost Chord as a humorous turn, illustrating the town’s rustic humor and moralizing tone.
A witty exchange from a boarding house notes that lunch and luncheon are not the same. One resident insists luncheon is a light lunch while another calls it a light dinner, highlighting language quirks in everyday meals referenced in Puck.
A Baltimore Sun item hints at a humorous dating theme where a redheaded woman is a prize and the selected man will no longer be lonely. It frames the outcome as a mix of striking beauty and dramatic weather imagery.
Quotations note that a wise person masks knowledge while a foolish one flaunts it, underscoring social perception of intellect in conduct.
The government offers annual salaries from 800 to 1200 dollars for railway mail clerks and up to 2500 dollars for other employees. Spring exams will be held nationwide for rail way mail clerks customs clerks stenographers bookkeepers and departmental clerks. Thousands of appointments expected. Men or women over 18 may obtain free instruction by writing to the Bureau of Instruction 1694 Hamlin Building Rochester N Y.
The Drake University glee club performed in Nevada last night. Max George is identified as a member of the organization.
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