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Newspaper
Ames Times
Location
Ames, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Dec 26, 1907
Page
3
A comic dialogue unfolds as a servant recounts a chain of misfortunes leading to ruin. News of a father’s death, a mansion fire, and a shipwreck that sank the family fortune culminate in the protagonist realizing his ruin. The tale twists on an elopement and a bereaved household.
A meditation on divine love and inner redemption. The speaker urges that those who embody selfless tenderness and forgiveness become saviors, likening their humane acts to a redeemer’s mission and urging readers to nail their flaws to the cross of self-improvement.
A vignette portrays a wife catching a partner's claim of secrecy in a business matter. She gently reminds him of a past secret about an engagement ring that proved to be paste, hinting at patterns of trust and memory in domestic life.
A colonel recounts sleeping in a veranda hammock with a Mississippi planter. The planter quietly leads him to a cyclone cellar just as a dark storm swirls in from the southwest. The cyclone tears the house apart but he remains calm and courteous throughout.
A humorous local tale about Daddy O Alligan who swallows a painfully peppery plaster prescribed by a doctor for back pain. He reports no relief yet because he chewed and swallowed it last night, then had to be sent down hull. The doctor questions its effectiveness as the plaster was chewed.
A teacher tries to explain geography to Tommy. He insists his father a lawyer says the proverb where there's a will there's a bunch of poor relations. Tommy replies he knows it well, arguing with the teacher about the saying.
A class study of Matthew chapter nine ends with the question what Christ commanded. A student quips that Christ didn’t charge them a cent, while a tale of an English squire and his loyal butler at a steamship wharf introduces a lighter anecdote.
Little Johnny misrecalled the sermon text saying Dont be afraid youll get the quilt. The pastor later confirmed the real text Fear not the comforter will come. Chicago Tribune
A Kansas man at supper bows to pray as the phone rings thrice. He answers each call and returns to the table, finally saying Hello. The vignette captures a humorous domestic moment from Lippincott's.
A boy faces a choice between a ten cent piece and a quarter for the offering on Easter Sunday. He recalls The Lord loveth a cheerful giver and chooses to give the ten cent piece with greater cheer.
An Irishman mocks a police exam as he refuses to run, joking that the tests relate to a marriage license. A Scotsman later caps a dinner with a blunt compliment, saying the doctor’s singing is weak but his veracity is awful.
A humorous exchange in a Ladies' Home Journal joke frames Edison Watts Morse and others as great inventors. A pawnbroker adds a quip that “the man who invented interest was no slouch,” delivering a playful twist on innovation and finance.
A Bates division Confederate soldier, after two days’ retreat from Nashville, discarded his gear and sat in the woods. He mused on his condition, confessing he is whipped and demoralized yet insists no one can say he is scattered.
A dialogue between a young lady and a maid centers on kissing in the dark hall. The maid admits kissing a young man, but claims the same act by the fiancée was proper, revealing a shared suitor and a lighthearted domestic misunderstanding.
An inspirational verse by Myron Hanford Veon extols perseverance through storms and failure. It argues that courage lies in attempting despite odds and that real success is born of steadfast effort even when outcomes resemble defeats.
Two young girls quarrel over being adopted. One declares that her papa and mamma picked her, while the other says the other child had to be accepted as she came. The exchange, reported in Ladies' Home Journal, contrasts chosen status with birth.
During a two hour strike mob violence broke out at the railroad scene. Two young leaders fled as a muscular woman with a club arrived, delivering blows and shaming them for wrecking tracks before leading the mob home. the mother followed, mob dispersed.
A southern lady finds a heavy man in her kitchen while Cindy denies relationship. The reveal shows a misrepresented romance as Cindy insists the man is no kin and vows to check again. The scene ends with shock and confusion, reflecting regional tones.
A London factory girl recalls a well manlier suitor who treated her to dinner and poured coffee into his saucer rather than blowing it, describing him as refined and unlike a common person.
A Scotch couple walks a city street. The husband jokes about his wife’s looks and asks to marry someone better looking. He lags behind and sees men stare at his wife, proving her point. The wife had been making faces at every man she met.
The piece recounts Mark Twain replying to his brother’s complaint about a boil and jumping toothache with a sharper comparison. He notes that inflammatory rheumatism and St. Vitus' dance together would be worse, delivering a dry, humorous observation in classic tone.
English writer Henry Norman later became a member of Parliament and visited Washington years ago where he was hosted by the National Press Club. He enjoyed the reception though reporters felt his humor was slow to land and a few correspondents decided on a plan.
Karl Decker of the National Press Club presents Norman a ring as a token of friendship. Norman thanks the club, notes the gift and humorously explains that a bell was given by mistake.
A three year old overheard in Lippincott's recites the Lord’s Prayer as And give us this day our daily homemade bread after a neighbor sent Marjorie real homemade bread to a household that normally relies on a baker.
James J. Hill recalls a cautionary tale about a farmer and his wife who warned each other about St Paul sharpers. The farmer misses his wife at a junction, rides an express to reach St Paul first, and confronts her upon arrival, only to be rebuffed as a trickster. The story ends with a stern warning and a police threat.
A landlady questions a new boarder about rest and insomnia. She claims twenty two years as a housekeeper and offers to board him free if he can name a similar complaint he has raised before.
A deranged man sharpens a large knife and plans to cut off Old Ben Brown’s head then reattach it backward for him to ponder his past. The bizarre confession is relayed in a cautionary tale tone.
A doctor informs Hooligan the illness involves the larynx thorax and epiglottis. Hooligan initially believes the trouble is only in the throat.
A man of letters condemns women as barbarous illogical and inconsistent. He relates a country walk with a young woman and a boy who climbs a tree to steal eggs. The boy replies the mother will not mind as she is in the observer's hat.
A Buffalo street car story recounts a lone man on a nearly empty car who bows to a passing woman and offers a plashe. She declines to offend him but accepts the moment as he sways from the strap for seven blocks with no other passengers present.
An English clergyman warns of the wicked after a sermon on hell. An old gossiping woman quips about gnashing teeth. A boy receives a large orange from a passerby who is revealed to be President Lincoln, prompting a humbling, moral moment about honesty.
The poem by Richard Watson Gilder condemns moral cowardice and deceit. It contrasts openly criminal acts with those who sell honor for protection, denouncing the latter as the true despicable class.
A fragment notes Dr Buckley the Methodist divine once planned a sermon on Oats and Wild Oats but a religious weekly printed Cats and Wild Cats instead. The handwriting is nearly illegible and the anecdote comes via Lippincott’s.
Mark Twain recounts a visit to friends and a servant named George who hides the house key elsewhere. After searching for the key, the narrator confronts George who explains he found a better place for it.
A wealthy temperance benefactor speaks to a convert in a Scottish city during a vigorous reform drive. He warns, with a wary scent of liquor, that the man has fallen back into drinking. The exchange underscores the era’s intensified moral campaign and personal struggle.
In a brief exchange, neighbors ask after Pat and learn his wife is very ill but not in danger. The conversation notes she is too weak to be dangerous anymore, reflecting concern and humor in a rural speech pattern.
Senator Knox recounts a humorous episode at Oyster Bay where President Roosevelt, coat off and brow mopped, invites a Kansas delegation to the barn to talk while he works. The hay is missing as John from the loft admits no time to throw it back after yesterday's delegation.
A New York man accuses Missourians of provincialism. Congressman Champ Clark retorts that New York is ignorant of Missouri while Missourians know New York, flipping the insult with sharp wit.
A man recalls an eight year old visit to Washington during the Civil War era. He describes a distant, stern Lincoln passing by a barefoot urchin admiring oranges from a vendor’s cart as the rebellion raged nearby.
A fragmentary dialogue piece features a speaker identified as a mum-mum-man and a reference to Mrs. Goode. The exchange centers on effort and perseverance, with playful cadences and domestic humor implied by the phrases dud and life.
A woman seeking social ascent at a Washington reception with Mrs Taft was hurried along the line of guests during the crowding. She finally reached the hostess and remarked with emphasis I have heard of your husband before adding how do you do.
A Montparnasse anecdote recalls Daudet on artists and their partners. Richard Mansfield cites a tale about a playwright confessing bigamy to his wife during dinner to explore how actors and creators torment their loved ones. The shock turns humorous as the truth is fiction in his new play.
A southern city bachelor hires a colored man to clean and serve. The man asserts ownership over all belongings, provoking a confrontation about possession. A Sunday confrontation shows a chocolate colored woman with a baby carriage. the worker denies ownership of the child, saying the boss owns it.
Representative Robinson of Indiana extols nature and the capitol’s morning light while Representative Ruppert of New York bets he has not seen it. Robinson replies the remark is poetic not a betting proposition.
John B. McDonald, builder of New York's subway, declines to condemn a rival contractor. He recalls a laborer he once employed whose death followed a premature blast and recounts overheard remarks from two friends about the victim. Dinny is praised as a fine shoveler and a good worker, though not a fancy shoveler.
A lady instructs a green servant to give an evasive answer at the door. The mistress asks who called. The servant reports a gentleman seeking her, and a comical exchange ensues when the servant uses an evasive reply about the caller’s grandmother being monkey.
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