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Newspaper
Ames Times
Location
Ames, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Aug 15, 1907
Page
10
Fragmented scraps describe a roomer dying by suicide in a third story lodging house. The piece blends items from Town Topics with a poem on equality and a humorous Royalty note about a duke and a child reciting grace. The overall tone reflects old newspaper miscellany.
A preacher's long discourse on prophets ends with a question about Jeremiah. A tall man in the back offers Jeremiah his seat and declares he is going home. The anecdote ends with a sigh of relief and humor from the congregation.
A husband returns to find a note from his wife Mrs Brown saying she has gone to have her kimono cut out. He rushes to a nearby hospital seeking news before ether. The nurse reveals no Mrs Brown is admitted there, Astonished by the note leading to a misread message.
An English daily advertises a gentleman’s role to sell a patent medicine with a guarantee of profitability to the undertaker.
Pat invited to a wedding arrives at the house and is shown to the gentlemen's room. A commotion follows as Pat staggers down the stairs in disarray after mistaking the best man for a stylish dandy wearing a white carnation and kid gloves.
A soldier recalls General Shafter’s contempt for military posers and his habit of ridiculing a general of volunteers who damaged a leg on a caisson wheel and continued in service, earning sympathy from none. The anecdote highlights Shafter's blunt demeanor and disdain for affectation.
On July 23 1907 Parley Sheldon was appointed administrator of the estate of G A Armstrong deceased by Story County District Court Iowa. All indebted persons must pay and all claims must be presented in Court for allowance at Ames Iowa.
A humorous vignette features Mayor Tom L. Johnson of Cleveland clashing with street railway injunctions. He jokes that, like the dog and old lady, injunctions shift as each side acts. Senator Pettus of Alabama recounts assisting an elderly man crossing Washington avenues who learns Pettus is younger at sixty six versus eighty two.
A humorous exchanges tale in which a San Francisco woman asks a Chinese cook his name. He says Wang Hang Ho and she shortens it to John. He asks for her name and she replies Mrs. Melville Landon. He muddies the names and calls her Tommy.
At a town meeting Professor Pierce of Harvard was selected to voice college professors on the discussion topic. After his speech a townsman attacked Harvard nabobs, and Pierce asked why he did not reply, explaining he enjoyed the crowd’s scorn and did not want to echo the opponent’s insult.
A new village minister meets a rising young man on his way to evening service. He asks if the youth attends worship and the youth replies he attends every Sunday night, saying he is on his way to see her now.
A Connecticut church held a trial sermon for a new pastor who must have a classical education. A Welsh candidate dazzled the deacons by quoting Greek and Latin, then Welsh, provoking quiet amusement from a Welsh listener who finally quashed the merriment with a humorous warning in Welsh.
Solitude inspired Michezel Angelo to devote himself to sculpture and painting. He called painting a jealous wife and his works his children, refusing marriage to keep art exclusive.
The poem by Paul H. Hayne contrasts love with social degrees. It argues that true affection transcends status as two hearts unite, despite custom’s rulings. The speaker declares love’s sovereignty over earthly hierarchies and social norms.
A Scotch minister and his servant leave a wedding and discuss their inebriation. The minister steps ahead to test his balance, asking Sandy if he walks straight. Sandy, half drunk, asks who is walking with him, revealing their intoxicated state.
A skeptical farmer tries a home telephone to talk to his wife in another town. A lightning strike during the test shocks him, but the neighbor insists such storms are rare. The farmer remains convinced the device works, declaring in awe that “that was Jane, all right.”
An automobilist meets a pedestrian and a dog on the road. The dog is struck by the car. The driver offers five dollars to settle. The dog owner accepts and pockets the money, pondering ownership as the car disappears.
Mrs. M. G. Black of Gardiner Oregon, a Carnegie hero fund recipient, discusses training children in bravery through kindness. She cites a schoolchild’s blunt answer to what he would do when grown up, saying he would whip his father, illustrating blunt upbringing contrasts.
A small church hosts a fundraising meeting to cover repair costs with the minister noting an initial pledge of 500 dollars. Parishioners listen as the drive aims to secure donations for roof and exterior work.
A wealthy, stingy church member pledged a dollar, then a plaster fall knocked him out of his misstep. He recovered and offered fifty dollars, prompting an enthusiastic attendee to shout for another strike.
In Greenwich at Americus Club a guest recalls President Lincoln sending an open letter to Connecticut Governor Buckingham thanking for troops. Governor Hoff man notes he never received such a letter for New York and Lincoln replies with a quip about thanking Mrs Lincoln for tea.
A mother gently corrects her son after he swears. She explains God is with him at all times and knows his thoughts. On an errand downtown a dog trails him and he tells the animal to go back for fear of God following him too.
During a truce a Yankee rode into a Confederate camp and negotiated a trade for a horse. Confederate soldiers teased the rider and offered money but the Yankee refused after noting he had already paid ten thousand to have the animal transported.
The piece recalls O Rorke once a Rochester hodcarrier who rose to colonel of the One Hundred and Fortieth New York. Friends gifted a gold watch at his triumphs then his wedding to Bridget. Killed on Round Top with his regiment under heavy fire.
An elderly Lynn resident recalls Mrs Eddy, head of the Christian Science church, and a temperance campaign she led in Lynn. The man recounts a rebuff when a tramp asked for help, with Mrs Eddy asking him to answer if he drinks beer before offering aid. The tramp replies with a wry quip about a syringe.
Lord Russell visits Prince Bismarck in Berlin and notes a chancellor endures many troublesome callers. Bismarck jokes his wife helps him dismiss visitors. the princess then interrupts with a quiet domestic cue about time to take medicine.
A vivid line describes Lord Russell breaking into a ringing laugh and departing immediately after the exchange. The scene centers on his sudden humor and swift exit, capturing a moment of levity and swift departure.
A German passenger refused the conductor’s demand for 35 cents fare, offering 25 cents instead. The train stopped, he was forced off, then ran ahead of the engine, while the engineer blew the whistle. He shouted, I won't come back.
Two elderly brothers who jointly inherited land from their father quarrelled and took their case to a native magistrate. He found fault in both sides and ordered them jailed in a cangue with necks locked face to face until they settled. After two days their stubborn standoff softened and by the third day they reached a settlement and were freed.
The piece notes the high human cost of ancient engineering, citing the Red Sea canal myth of 120000 Egyptians and the labor used for pyramid building. It discusses Buckle’s view that such figures may be exaggerated yet illustrate the scale of slave labor and life loss in monumental projects.
A London Telegraph snippet quoted a jeweler advising a woman about a paste necklace's purity. The shopman asked if the wearer was married, confirming the piece as genuine. He urged telling her it is real to avoid trouble for husbands during difficult times.
A dialogue shows Daniel teasing the minister on his absence, noting that ministers supposedly send others to fill the pulpit while he stays away. The exchange mocks clerical priorities and public image amid playful banter.
The Washington Star quotes a definition of a jingo as a person convinced others should fight while he stays safe. The remark frames jingoism as hypocritical patriotism and includes a dialogue from a brief learned exchange.
Land prices rise as Story County records show multiple deeds in Ames and surrounding areas. Transfers include Gilbert Station, Blair's addition, North Ames, McCallsburg, Zearing, Cambridge, and New Hope church lands with sums ranging from 75 to 14400 dollars.
The ad claims Foley’s Honey and Tar eases hay fever and summer cold suffering by easing breathing and healing inflamed air passages. It promises instant relief even if it does not cure and notes the genuine product comes in a yellow package sold by Cagwin the druggist.
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