31 Aug 1911
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 13 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Akron Register Tribune
Location
Akron, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Aug 31, 1911
Page
1
Zion's Herald argues that Jesus did laugh and enjoy humor despite foreboding of Calvary. It questions the view of a somber portrait and cites humanity's gift of laughter and wit to support a more nuanced view of the Savior's humanity.
A. C. Brandon, attorney at law, from Greenville Ohio recounts years of severe facial eczema and boils near Lebanon in 1882. After failing with doctors, he used Cuticura Resolvent Ointment Soap and saw swift improvement with no recurrence for over twenty years. He endorses the remedies and offers free samples via Cut Cura Dept. 3 EK Boston.
Miss Hilsie Gentsch teaches Matthew to her class when a promising boy, Degroomer, misreads the parable of the ten virgins. He notes five wise and five foolish. The bridegroom arrives at midnight and locks out the foolish. He then marries the wise ones. This Cleveland Leader quip reflects a humorous misinterpretation.
A London Tit-Bits tribute recalls a departed sister praised for charity yet sharp talk. The pastor calls her excellent and salt of the earth while a villager adds she was vinegar pepper and mustard, a perfect cruel stand of virtues.
A short dialogue scene shows a Lady Visitor telling Tom she will visit his mother's company tomorrow. Tommy responds that she will not get a good supper. Tommy's papa interrupts as Tommy explains pa once said he would need chicken feed for her old hen party tomorrow.
A father asks for guidance after his daughter sings and a music master suggests possible interests. The passage reflects on choosing activities like settlement, work, or horseback riding to foster focus and connection. It also notes a Bacon maxim about love and social company and includes an ad line about teething syrup. A proverb about liking a girl more when she seems to like him less closes the excerpt.
American Amber pursues a missing Miss Sophie Farrell and a mystic bronze box through Calcutta and Bharata. A disguised Rajput, Salig Singh, reveals himself as Maha Rana Har Dyal Rutton Bahadur while Amber fights to escape a kidnapping and clear his name, with danger and intrigue escalating.
Throw Cream Away describes a naïve city bride who scolds a milkman about yellow scum on milk and proudly explains she skims it off to toss in the garbage, highlighting a comic misunderstanding of kitchen housekeeping.
Creston Iowa report quotes Mrs W Starts of 6056 W Howard St praising Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound after years of inflammation pain headaches and nervousness. She credits the product with renewed health and urges others to seek its remedies through Mrs Pinkham in Sugan Massachusetts and confidential correspondence.
Mrs Jinks notes her husband is compiling a collection of steins. Mrs Booze A adds that Lott is also assembling a set of stein contents. The fragmentary exchange highlights domestic collecting habits without broader context.
A reflection on how people assess character through the eyes. It warns that a man who avoids clear eye contact may harbor evil tendencies and contrasts eyes that reveal or conceal true nature.
A brief dialogue reveals a husband believed out of work for six years finally lands a job. The exchange undercuts the punchline as a judge of mood shifts and social satire in a compact vignette. The gag hinges on misread expectations and the twist of work restoring a tense dynamic.
A cryptic exchange asks who delivered the after-dinner speeches at Nelshazzar's feast. The fragment hints at a puzzle seeking the speakers and origins of the remarks.
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