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Newspaper
Aiken Standard
Location
Aiken, South Carolina, United States of America
Date
Feb 10, 1972
Page
4
A collection of humorous anecdotes and quotes on money, genius, advertising, and life. It notes a tax refund joke, Hamilton, Barnum, barber shop pricing, and a Madison Avenue boardroom punchline about buying Fifth Avenue property for 20 million with 100 dollars cash.
The piece satirically dates the decline of American civilization to 1972 as taxes rise. Burton Brillig, director of Toves for the Borogrove Bandersnatch Company, laments shrinking pay and reveals he now works Tuesdays and Thursdays for the government. Basil Borogrove confronts Brillig in the plant infirmary.
A critical editorial argues that Nixon’s Paris and secret Kissinger missions reveal a pattern of duplicity. It contends the January 25 speech was political theater and warns the public will pay the price in lost trust as secret covenants and backroom deals come to light. It predicts Ed Muskie gains in perceived honesty as voters weigh these revelations.
Reader excerpts reference Kissinger and promises abroad amid criticism of secret diplomacy. A satirical tale follows Brillig at a government plant, detailing lazy reforms, rising taxes, and a fictional collapse of official productivity as a warning about governance.
Eugene J. Oyler is announced as executive editor of the Aiken Standard. The change reinforces leadership at the 105 year old paper with Oyler assuming the new post on February 10 1972.
The Whit ney Field polo opening promises a bright season for Aikenites. Polo, newly introduced in America in 1876 by James Gordon Bennett Jr., has long defined Aiken's social scene with Sunday matches in late winter and spring.
Election results show voter and box manager approval of the new votematic system in the school board race. Election officials say the device can handle a four-ballot November general election with lower cost than hand counting, while the paper notes a touch of nostalgia for courthouse suspense.
Yale educator D Allen Bromley warned that ten times as many American college students enroll in astrology than in astrophysics, a trend that could strangle American science if unchecked. The Beaumont Enterprise notes the concern over shifting public interest and scientific engagement.
The Aiken Standard issues a correction for Tuesday's Letters to the Editor column. A preface paragraph about publishing in the public interest was mistakenly attached to an open letter to President Nixon by H. T. Leopard and misattributed to a letter praising Aiken County Hospital by J. Wade Gemillion.
Dr Paul Popenoe of the American Institute of Family Relations warns that suicide is a leading cause of death on campuses with 67 percent dropout rates at one major university. He urges welcoming newcomers, fostering friendships, and student involvement to combat isolation and its deadly consequences.
The piece argues that being a Christian does not require sinlessness. Believers may sin but should feel remorse, confess, and rely on Jesus as advocate who cleanses from unrighteousness and justifies believers before God. The main point is trusting Christ, not personal sinlessness.
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