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Newspaper
Advance Hustler
Location
Advance, Indiana, United States of America
Date
May 23, 1912
Page
3
A jumble of jokes about a son falls from a plane during a flying lesson in a spoof dialogue. Interspersed are short ads praising Red Cross Ball Blue laundry product and Garfield Tea laxative. The tone mirrors a lighthearted newspaper page of jokes and consumer pitches.
Mrs Ollie Woodall of Morton's Gap Kentucky shares a two year struggle with female disorders and constant backache. After using Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound she reports full relief and returning to daily work. The ad invites letters to Lydia E Pinkham Medicine Co Lynn Mass for confidential guidance.
John H. Dunlap of the American Mulefoot Hog Record Association describes the Mulefoot hog’s solid foot origin in ancient and modern texts, its global presence, large litters, and distinctive internal traits. He notes breeding practices to avoid inbreeding, the association’s role in recording purebred hogs, Taft’s praise of the meat, and the breed’s hardiness, vitality, and profitability.
In a middle western town Peter Vernon woos the ethereal Louise while Sadie Fruby, famed for beating biscuits, vies for his affection. A quiet marriage to Louise surprises Sadie and Mrs. Fruby, who muses on how appetite and cooking shape fate.
Phosphoric acid promotes kernel maturity in grains and should be applied if soil lacks it. Acid phosphate is recommended as a fertilizer from 200 to 500 pounds per acre depending on soil needs.
A note from dairy experts warns dogs disturb dairy cows by barking and restlessness, making cows nervous and reducing milk flow. It advises dairymen to keep dogs away to protect herd productivity.
Seed planting advised for beans corn cucumbers eggplants melons okra peppers pumpkins squash sweet potatoes and tomatoes before frost. Thinning transplanting labeling spacing hotbeds bedding plants hardy perennials second thinning celerey spraying for pests and flowering petals. Paths borders neat poles for beans and late strawberry cultivation with weed control.
The text advises beginners to start with sheep this year and avoid large-scale livestock ventures until learning the business. A small flock of twenty five to fifty is recommended for learning, with sheep fitting into general farming by cleaning fence corners and using otherwise unused feed on every farm.
An unusually shabby Coleridge rode with friends in Regent's Park and offered to slip back as one of the servants. His friend declined, saying he would be ashamed to see him in such a role despite pride in their friendship.
A casual Sunday trip to a friend's suburb turns into an unexpected stop as the host reveals a new bulldog investment. The narrator planned only a bite to eat but learns of the canine addition in a surprising moment.
A brief frase from Exchange stresses that a mother holds primary duty to raise her children before state or husband, underscoring家庭 values and maternal priority in child upbringing.
A Yonkers physician mocked medical practice by mixing game sauce, English mustard, and cayenne for a sick cook, who refused a second dose citing she would never drink unless it quenched by water. The anecdote appears in the Saturday Evening Post. The piece contrasts with a joke from the Cincinnati Enquirer about a quarrelsome wife and an echo at the river.
Miss Sarah Calkins of Waukegan Illinois recounts a three year winter skin eruption covering her body. After trying multiple treatments she reports complete relief using Cuticura Soap and Ointment and Resolvent, noting lasting sleep and no relapse. Samples offered by mail from Cuticura Dept L Boston.
In a classroom Miss Green asks Brownman to name Diana’s virtue. He answers promptly that she is famous for taking baths, turning the moment into a humorous teaching beat and a snapshot of school life.
Advertises Allen’s Foot-Ease to shrink shoe size with antiseptic powder, aimed at dancers and those breaking in new shoes. Claims instant relief for corns and bunions. Address listed as Sam leEEE, Allen 8 Olmsted, Levy, N.
A line from Harper's Bazar jokes about a housing plan near a station. An agent concedes the house is over a mile from the station yet notes the tiny rooms require the baby to be carried only eight feet from his crib.
An advertisement touts Cole's Carboli salve as a quick healer that prevents scarring, with prices 25c and 50c and free samples via J. W. Cole & Co. It also blasts adulteration claims and promotes Red Cross Ball Blue for whitening clothes while humor lightly critiques common faults.
An elderly style testimonial advertises Doan's Kidney Pills for backache and kidney trouble. J W Priest of Marysville Ohio recounts severe back and weight loss, claiming cures after doctors failed. Ad cites 50c stores and Foster Milburn Co as makers.
A financial operator visits a trader to pick a dog and asks for a water dog, claiming he heard it is a good stock proposition. The anecdote illustrates how business thoughts intrude into daily choices.
A Boston based paxton company promotes Paxtine as a remedy to remove nicotine from teeth and purify breath after smoking. The product is sold in druggists for 25e a box or by postpaid order. Also includes a Bunco Game quip about fooling people.
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