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Newspaper
Advance Hustler
Location
Advance, Indiana, United States of America
Date
May 22, 1913
Page
2
A compilation of humorous bights from the Advance Hustler includes riffs on baseball pennants, fashion hats, New York spring costs, silk hat centenary, trousers care, ad hoc health tips, striped rats, umpire turnover, simplified spelling, Zeppelin tech concerns, chop suey myths, Egypt’s ancient money story, grape fruit versus doctors, graft scandals, wedding gifts, music and baldness, and inoculation rites for common pets.
A jumbled column notes lobsters needing protection and a derisive take on fashion hat advice. It cites a millionaire’s wife eloping with a butcher, a thinner eastern woman with a broad outlook, and a Velasquez portrait discovery in London. Witty remarks about clothes, derby hats, and a London judge’s take on a wife sale follow, with jokes on marriage as speculation and urban life’s hustle.
The article advises dairymen on turning cows to pasture to cut winter costs and boost milk, detailing forage types from native grasses to alfalfa and legumes, and emphasizing careful transition from dry feed, grain supplementation, and potential use of silage to maintain steady milk production.
Indiana farmers are adopting improved practices yielding higher corn per acre. In Tipton county thirteen growers surpassed 100 bushels per acre, signaling a shift from 40 to 60 bushels. statewide efforts, from Purdue to federal programs, aim to boost extension services and farm income, with potential gains of tens of millions annually, while hog losses from cholera in 1912 underscore the need for better farm care.
A New England Homestead essay argues farmers waste fertility by washing manure as it leaks from roofs and stables. It urges saving all liquid and solids, hauling directly from stable to field, and spreading promptly. It promotes legume crops like clover and alfalfa to fix nitrogen and enrich soils for future corn or grain crops.
The secretary of agriculture says poultry products are worth more than wheat and perhaps as much as hay. The report omits poultry and eggs in towns and cities, but a complete tally would likely show poultry leading the world's industries.
Prune orchards in Idaho that are in first class condition bring from 400 to 600 dollars per acre.
An Appalachian revival tale follows Ned Carter and Hank Peters as they clash over Virginia during a church meeting. Ned’s reckless schemes collide with Hank’s faith as Ned shoots at authorities, while Hank becomes a deputy sky pilot amid the chaotic double wedding plan.
Haliburton in Sam Slick recounts a passenger asking why Nova Scotians are called Blue Noses. The reply states it stems from a potato they grow famed as the best, earning Americans the nickname Blue Noses.
A stout jolly woman at the corset counter holds a returned article. She murmurs about a label reading Made expressly for John Wanamaker, then notes the item did not fit. The moment captures shopper frustration with label specifics and sizing.
The author describes revising a novel where the hero starves to death by rewarding him with a banquet in every chapter. This shift aims for personal satisfaction and a counterpoint to the original tragedy.
A grocer tells a housewife that the product he sold contains water due to recent western floods. The remark underscores concerns about item quality and flood-related disruptions in supply.
Goodyear Tire and Rubber Co Akron will expand to 8000 workers with 1700000 square feet of floor space. President I A Seiberling funds a 450 acre housing allotment to sell homes at cost turning rent into future ownership within ten years. The plan aims to raise worker loyalty, wages average $67 in 1911 and higher in 1913, with modern factory conditions including a hospital and welfare department.
The French government promotes trials of a large copper lightning rod device intended to influence atmospheric electricity and prevent hail formation.
A farmer sent a dozen stamps after seeing a winter safety recipe. The reply advised placing the item in the well or cistern at night and standing it in front of the fire to prevent freezing.
A wife wakes her husband for the third time to check doors and windows. He grumbles but she insists, unsure if he will close up, while he mutters a wish he would. The exchange captures domestic tension and shared duty within a home.
In Bavaria both boys and girls seek affection by wearing love charms. Myrrh worn near the heart is seen as a potent love inspirer, linked to the myrtle used in wedding customs in German speaking regions.
The German Society of Electrical Engineers offers a costly gold medal each year for the best device or process that safeguards life or promotes health in the electrical industry, awarded in any country.
A playful note suggests crafty uses for a calendar and sandpaper. It mentions using a calendar pad as a match scratch and hints at versatile scratchers for rooms where gas is used. The tone is light and practical with quick, quirky ideas.
A satirical exchange centers on a financier lamenting a son from Maine who steals to pass a college exam. The son retorts that the company was compelled to swipe funds to pass a government examination, highlighting generational and ethical tensions.
A London case questioned what constitutes an infant's necessities in law. A young man sued by a furniture dealer had bought 24 candlesticks 38 weapons 61 pictures an Indian spittoon and other items. He refused to pay claiming in fancy and the judge ruled for the plaintiff.
A speaker recalls last month Jones proposed a money making scheme. The respondent says yes and soon realized it was a delusion. The exchange frames a turning point from trust to disillusionment.
A poem fragment describes two birds perched on nearby branches. One sings gloriously while the other chirps, suggesting a contrasting tone of longing rather than envy.
A Jamaica sourced kola nut drink is described as exported to England where it is manufactured colored and flavored before being returned. The piece notes kola as a popular Jamaican soft drink with an international trade loop.
Thoreau muses on the season’s blossoms brightening homes with fresh wild flowers. He urges appreciation of nature’s gifts, asking readers to note the pictures and poetry Nature is painting and writing at this moment.
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