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Newspaper
Advance Hustler
Location
Advance, Indiana, United States of America
Date
May 01, 1913
Page
3
Harper's Weekly reports Soda Lake in English East Africa as the world's richest soda bed with about 200 million tons. The lake spans over fifty square kilometers, surface water forms in the rainy season, and new soda forms quickly as blocks are removed, allowing ongoing extraction for years.
A long list of agricultural properties for sale across many regions including Texas California Saskatchewan Manitoba Ontario Florida and more. Highlights include large tracts from 40 to 732 acres with cultivable land barns outbuildings stock machinery orchards and living quarters. Sellers name contact persons and local towns across the U S and Canada.
A jumble of quotes and light notes from Town Topics and Puck jokes. Advertisements include Mrs. Winston's soothing syrup for teething and Mrs. Austin's Pancake. A brief movie scene at Mise Prim shows an usher approving smoking. A Birmingham Age Herald quip ends the page.
Thrifty Scot recalls Sir John Carr advising a Glasgow inscription for Nelson's monument. A Newfound land sealing fleet update reports Stephano with 36,000 seals leading, plus Nascopie 27,000 and others, signaling an excellent season ahead.
London Chronicle notes the decline of traditional pie shops in London including Fleet Street eel pie shop linked to Sweeney Todd. It laments the loss of itinerant vendors of trotters and theater door sandwiches and the move to widespread fried fish shops, now far more common.
The Avocado tree in Mexico yields a pear shaped fruit rich in fat and nutrients. One large meat pear can feed a meals worth for an average man. It's little known because trees are scarce and grown near huts with little care. Widespread cultivation could affect the high cost of living.
A heated exchange unfolds between a neighbor and Mrs. Nagsworth as accusations of disrupting transit spark tense rhetoric. The quarrel centers on a published story and a photograph claimed to depict the neighbor, prompting threats of further press coverage.
A string of curious local headlines recount unusual misfortunes. One man forgot to remove chewing tobacco before entering a church and was directed to the front seat. Another insisted on reading the sports page during a haircut, prompting the barber to snip off a strand. A youth suffered a violent hiccup spell while calling on his fiancée, ending in an engagement annulment. Society rift reports describe a cockroach discovery on garments after an official call.
A humorous reminiscence features Mr Pumper recounting moments in the Alps. He describes a perilous snowslide episode where he served as a reluctant driver for Miss Plumper, adding a dash of danger to an ordinary journey.
A cryptic verse fragment speaks of blame and self accusatory lines. The speaker swears life is a blank and hints at self restraint or denial as the cause.
In a spirited exchange, one says mastery of physics is essential for invention while another argues that necessity drives invention beyond laws. The dialogue frames how constraint and need fuel creative breakthroughs.
A man frets over an expensive gift for his wife and admits he cannot afford a higher price tag. A casual suggestion to let her choose is rejected due to cost constraints, as the wife’s birthday is imminent.
In a playful note from Puck, three girls compare silver spoons they received for Christmas. Georgia reports a spoon marked From your papa, Margaret has To my loving daughter, and Mabel boasts Hotel Auditorium.
Baltimore reports say physicians support efforts to reduce noise pollution. The note asks whether doctors are effectively pursuing the curb on noise in the city.
A visitor asks if every man has a price and the bride replies she holds her husband as a priceless treasure, asserting his value beyond price shortly after their wedding.
An entomology verse notes bedbugs as busy insects and expresses hope they avoid landing on people, reflecting a cautious tone about insect encounters and personal safety.
A dialogue sketches the idea that if poetry can sell, then even high class bonds or steel bridges could be marketed. The exchange features a skeptic and a poet who insists poetry itself is a saleable product, challenging limits of commerce and art.
Local banter centers on superstition as a dialogue turns to luck charms. A vendor asks Sam about a rabbit's foot, Sam replies he would rather rely on a talisman-like resource, hinting at a humorous cultural device without further detail.
Lord Altamont became marquess of Sligo after his father's death during the Indian mutiny. His wife and seven month old son were kept safe in a fortress ringed by rebels for a siege. A faithful nurse smuggled the boy through sepoy lines by disguising him as her own. The family endured Monghyr siege before reunion. The marquess marked silver wedlock with a telegram: Twenty five years without regret.
Ethel recalls Jack at the steamer to bid farewell carrying a five pound box of candy. Kitty notes his playful bonbon voyage line as the guest croons Scrambled eggs in the new mown hay while the waiter serves shredded wheat.
A man asks about a passing woman and a woman describes a figure with a gray hat a white feather red velvet roses a mauve jacket a black skirt mink furs and lavender spats. The other replies not particularly.
A blond haired Swede, about ten, traveled to Western Canada as an interpreter with a party that settled Wetaskiwin Alberta. He left for Fitchburg Mass 17 years ago, later watching Calgary and Edmonton grow from small towns to major centers with rail expansions and land prices rising from 3 to 35 dollars per acre. He plans to return, seeking land near rail lines and noting future railway development.
The speaker doubts that unveiling the great beyond would improve happiness. Revealing sacred realities might lower them to ordinary human terms. What is needed is a quality of life that conveys nearness and sweetness of the highest in the eternal kingdom of love.
A 1912 testimonial from Miss Clara Mueller details relief from red irritated pimples after using Cuticura Soap and Ointment for three weeks. The ad notes worldwide sales and a free sample offer with the 32 page Skin Book, urging readers to request by post. It also includes a separate Hackensack official remark about summer pests and a local teen jam incident in a New York Evening Sun blurb.
James felt dizzy in the water and feared collapse but another voice calls it the best thing that could have happened. The exchange confirms the outcome as surprising yet positive.
In a fragmented dialogue a niece reveals a secret engagement with young Brown is jeopardized by speculation, while an uncle laments the ruin of Brown's prospects. The exchange hints at social pressures and hidden plans within a family.
A letter extols quitting coffee for Postum citing relief from heart and stomach issues, headaches, and dyspepsia. It highlights testimonials from a former state WCTU president and other women, claiming asthma, heart trouble, and digestion improved after switching. The note invites readers to examine The Road to Wellville.
A clipped dialogue features a Wise Guy and a Simple Mug debating guilt and consequences. Senator Sorghum questions ambitions as a clever respondent jokes about leaving a position vacant. Reggie-W describes his smoking coupon haul as a plan.
A buyer describes the new horse as a vicious looking brute. The seller replies that the animal behaved oddly, standing on hind legs and attempting to embrace him as it left the stable.
The advertisement warns mothers to examine each Castoria bottle for safety and to note constipation as a trigger for serious diseases. It touts Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets as a thorough cure and presents Castoria as a favored family laxative. An orator at the top demands payment of express charges before voicing further opinions.
In a local humorous exchange, Mr. Chuggins explains his sudden ambition to run for office. He jokes that driving an automobile fuels a desire for recognition and authority so police will notice him and perhaps be lenient.
A quirky note hints Mary dining out with a lamb tale and a chef who made a sauce. The fragment stages a playful, period voice scene centered on dining and opinion of the chef.
A satirical note features a gardener who jokes about reading fiction and magazines that claim to teach how to craft a fine garden in his back yard. The quip plays on self awareness and irony.
A playful dialogue pits two suffragette hobos against a judge about spelling and dictionaries. Weary Millie and Dustina Rhoades ride an eastbound Santa Fe train, Millie loosening her hat as the exchange turns from travel chatter to word lore.
An actor proposes after his fourth divorce in a witty exchange with an actress. The actress expresses caution, and the actor dismisses rumors as old wives tales while the judge observes.
A courtroom quip reveals a man jailed for money obsession. The judge notes the inmate is truly crazy about money, prompting a humorous exchange about his condition and the perceived illness.
A quip on trouble with police notes that the first act is to seek bail assistance, reflecting a practical mindset toward legal trouble. The line foregrounds a man seeking external help rather than facing charges alone.
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