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Newspaper
Advance Hustler
Location
Advance, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Jun 20, 1912
Page
3
A collage of testimonial excerpts and ad copy touts Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound for female ailments, Garfield Tea for liver and kidney issues, and Cole's Carbolisalve. The material blends personal claims with quotes, poems, and short product blurbs from various sources.
A Frankfort Kentucky preservation effort seeks to save the so called little red brick building on the old State House square due to its historic value. The structure is 98 years old and recalls visits by Daniel Boone when visiting Frankfort after its erection. If left, it reaches 100 years in two years and remains the oldest state building.
President Taft attended a banquet in Chicago with Secretary Hilles and Major Archibald Butt. A parody of Dixie drew Butt’s dismay as the Georgia native remarked the song could be parodied like the Lord’s Prayer, spoiling his evening.
In Youngstown a pair of newsboys discuss a telegram about tension with Russia and a possible treaty dispute. They trade quips on whether the United States could conquer Russia, one joking with Salvation Army aid as the odds.
A Fort Worth reader credits Postum with curing bilious temperament and malaria linked to coffee. He claims stopping coffee and switching to Postum removed malarial symptoms, gained weight, and improved blood health. The letter is attributed to Postum Co. in Battle Creek Michigan.
A widow confronts grief while discussing a car collision with her husband’s adviser. The dialogue reveals the husband’s fatal crash and a claim of his bravery and integrity. The lawyer offers witnesses to support the survivor’s honesty amid the tragedy.
A theater manager notes a grave flaw in a play where a villain charges a widow 150 percent on a loan. He cites the unwritten rule that plays must have human interest.
Algernon recalls past loves from childhood and a circus rider, then admits the current beloved is the first girl he has asked to marry. The exchange blends affection with reminiscence.
Prisoner at the bar contends twice sentenced, urging the court that public sentiment opposes a third term. The exchange highlights opposition to extending imprisonment beyond prior sentences.
The Tattler notes a sportsman named Patient has gained two pounds since the accident amid a back shot incident. The doctor remarks on the amount of shot still present in the back as the patient recovers.
A dialog notes friction between a farmer and the agricultural department. The farmer asks if the department serves American farmers, and complains they have no literature to help him attract summer boarders. The exchange highlights gaps between official aims and practical needs.
Howell and Powell recount a comic misfortune when Powell, engaged to a wealthy heiress, tests a car worth fifty thousand dollars. The vehicle breaks down, she walks five miles, and the engagement is broken the next day by a letter from the heiress.
A poet laments a harsh career as buyers ignore his verses. The lines capture a struggling writer's frustration and the public indifference to his work.
A young wife sobs that George promised a birthday gift and delivered today a washing machine. Her mother asks what’s wrong, and the wife explains she is crying because it is a washing machine.
In a humorous exchange, Aunt Nancy urges a young man to marry before practicing medicine, arguing he cannot gain a practice without a wife, and cannot marry without one first, highlighting a comic obstacle to his medical career.
A wry exchange mocks youth obsession as Ponce de Leon admits not finding perpetual youth but says a man should outgrow loud cheering and flamboyant hair as life progresses.
A fragment reflects on the old heroes of chivalry and their sport of unhorsing opponents. The dialogue notes a knight being unseated, comparing it to a holiday feat and prompting light banter about taking a knight off.
A steeplejack mounted the church steeple and fastened a weather signal in a daring act. He completed the task despite dangerous winds and public scrutiny, attracting local chatter about the risky stunt and its outcome.
A humorous exchange about whether great men were married and thus missing a chance to have the final word.
A local man dreams of amassing wealth to grant his family a life of style, while his wife emphasizes the desire for a comfortable future.
In a social setting, climbers attract attention by tagging along with local society figures. Their confident ascent of social circles mirrors potential ascent on actual peaks, suggesting they are seasoned in both worlds.
In a brisk exchange, one person recalls a car outing with Biffels. The other confirms they had a rattling good time and expected the machine to fall apart before returning home.
Humorous excerpt notes Harold watching a man enjoy lunch as he voices hunger and hopes for a table in a crowded eatery. The scene highlights social observation and light irony in a Punch magazine snippet.
A quarrel erupts as a gentleman refuses to pay the cab fare, charging the driver with overpricing. The cabman apologetically concedes, noting the passenger chose a cab over a streetcar, hinting at frustration over the rate.
A dialog between Hardy Swain and a girl about kissing and germs ends with her recalling she licked his slate at school as a casual defiance.
A playful caption unfolds with two mice debating their missing sibling while the cat closes in. The chatter mixes fear and humor as the household scene hints at a humorous pursuit.
A fragmentary verse piece mentions a ballad master and a poetaster who sings of a working girl. The dialogue includes a line about never saying die and a retort about aging hair turning gray.
A farmer explains to Mr Corntessel that society people are “yes’ folks” who habitually wear their Sunday clothes every day, a practice the farmer does not understand but notes as public display.
A lively will contest remains a dead issue as Jones recalls a gale that blew a ball from the top of a tall tower, narrowly missing him. He warns that highballs may be the death of him, reflecting the era’s cautionary tales.
The dialogue suggests a man is afraid of his wife and even more so of his stenographer. The excerpt hints at a tangled power dynamic and comic tension within a domestic or workplace setting.
A humorous exchange about hands and chiropodiat services. A person asks to have their hand read and declares intent to locate a reputable chiropodiat for this purpose. The dialogue suggests curiosity about fortune telling through palm reading.
Frances pleads for company in a lonely Chicago flat until a neighbor, Mrs. Allen from across the hall, shares mail and tea. Their impromptu visit sparks mutual understanding and leads to friendship, easing isolation as husbands meet and companionship grows.
A North Carolina man avoided conviction for horse stealing after a strong plea from his lawyer. After acquittal the lawyer pressed him, but the man replied that while Sallers thought he stole the horse, the lawyer’s speech to the jury has him doubting his guilt.
A shopper describes a severe leg wound from a stair accident that worsened until Cuticura Ointment halted pain and started healing. She praises Cuticura Soap for facial use without smarting, and notes free samples offer from Cuticura in Boston.
An old advertisement touts Mrs Winslow's Scothin Teething Syrup for children. It claims gums softening, inflammation relief, pain reduction, wind colic cure, priced at 25 cents per bottle.
A humorous vignette describes a mother and child in town near a sign offering half price for children. The text shifts to an advertisement for Garfield Tea claiming a remedy for sluggish liver. It ends with a note about a double wedding as a kind of four-in-hand tle.
In Mankato during a Chautauqua assembly a call boy would summon doctors from the crowd to avoid distracting speakers. The plan worked until Strickland W Gilliland spoke and a doctor left on cue, prompting laughter. The speaker quipped that the doctor’s departure was how his brother started, and the crowd roared.
In a New York talk on generosity the Rev. Dr. Aked cites a woman noting Mrs Blank is shabby this spring. The speaker recalls a husband who adores his wife yet withholds funds for decent dress, remarking that devout worshippers do not always give most.
An advertisement extols Paxtine Antiseptic for a clean wholesome mouth and sweet breath. It promotes 25c boxes available at druggists or by postpaid order, from The Paxton Toilet Co. in Boston Massachusetts.
A humorous note from the Atchison Globe jokes that an Atchison man is so thrifty he attends games only with a double header pass. The piece also advises buying Red Cross Ball Blue as the blue that is truly blue, not watered down.
Hibernian discusses a stepless car while Bocker argues a step in the right direction. Garfield Tea is cited as the top choice in timerits herbal party context, with debate on which wins.
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