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Newspaper
Advance Hustler
Location
Advance, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Jul 03, 1913
Page
3
A quip filled exchange on Jimps and moves at club meetings. A physician jokes about not losing a surgical case as a patient dies and heirs pay for the operation. Mrs Winslow’s Soothing Syrup advertised for teething gums at 25c a bottle.
A boss fires an office boy after he asks for time off to attend a ball game citing honesty as his fault. The employer jokes that the boy is too honest and expresses suspicion, concluding with the termination.
The text argues there is no ex acting duty for reformers, praising asceticism among athletes and scouts. It notes drinking harms are reduced as machinery grows in demand for clear minds and steady nerves. It emphasizes sobriety and restraint amid rising business stress and professional rivalry.
A discussion explains that one square foot and one foot square denote the same area, though their enclosing shapes may differ. It notes a square foot can be bounded by various shapes such as a circle, hexagon, triangle, or rectangle, while a foot square is a fixed form with four equal sides and right angles.
A little girl, whose father was gravely ill, admits she prayed but doubted God could kill germs. Her innocent remark reflects the struggle between faith and perceived scientific power, wondering if a higher power could eradicate disease.
A dialogue parodied by counsel and talesman ends with jurors willing to face danger. The satirical exchange critiques courtroom dynamics, noting the chorus of lawyers urging the Talesman into the jury box as an ironic verdict.
A German surveying ship recently located the deepest ocean point near Mindanao Philippines about 40 miles north of Mindanao coast. The sounding measured 9 780 meters surpassing the prior record of 9 635 meters found by the Nero south of Guam, confirming a new global depth peak.
Oxford Street London saw foreman painter Robinson risk his life to rescue a cat that clung to the top rung of a 100 foot ladder. The ladder swayed as he climbed, overtopping the building by 30 feet, and Robinson safely brought the animal down to the applause of onlookers.
Toasties are among the good things to eat though not in the cook book as they require no cooking. They stay crisp and appetizing straight from the package, saving time and avoiding hot work in the kitchen.
Charles Kenyon recalls a Florida fishing party where the biggest catch was four inches. A witty exchange follows as a charming spectator quips about fishes going in schools, prompting a playful reply about breaking up the infant class.
A Cincinnati Kinemacolor chief J. H. Kempner grants gallery passes to a washer woman who complains she did not see real colored folks in the play. She reports back the show impressed yet lacked authentic cast, noting advertisements claimed otherwise.
The manager notes Mr Blowhardt donated $50 to the vanity fund, while the secretary questions the motive. The manager insists the gift was to please his vanity.
Snatches of dialogue expose a quirky scene as Welton, Bilderback, and Mrs. Fladger are teased about appearance and habits. The exchange hints at local tensions and sly humor among neighbors over a small debt reminder.
A humorous exchange has a father tolerating a suitor while quipping that his daughter attends a cooking school for two months, implying concerns about digestion and compatibility.
A worker asks for a two week vacation to marry the boss’s daughter. The boss questions the ability to support a wife on his salary, then learns the intended bride is the daughter. The humorous exchange ends with the realization and a reconsideration of salary.
Comic exchange references a jungle film with a sly jab about billboards in Africa. The dialogue plays on staged danger and a hidden advertisement for clothing.
A nostalgic note recalls the enduring popularity of the song Little Annie Rooney as a reigning success from years past, capturing a singer’s memory of a bygone era and its cultural impact.
A witty skit features a daughter and her mother debating the relevance of Schiller. The daughter reveals she smashed the poet’s statuette in the drawing room, sparking a sharp exchange about taste and age.
In a playful courtroom exchange, Patricia-l teases Clarice about rumors concerning her husband. Clarice responds with flirtatious banter as a judge presides over the humorous dialogue.
A quick witticism unfolds as a maid reports a break in at No 7 and the mistress realizes the house is hers. A judge-narrator later explains the Venus de Milo as the ideal woman because she is armless and cannot steal from her husband’s pockets.
In a terse courtroom exchange a lawyer pleads habeas corpus for a prisoner while an observer in the rear notes seeing the man arrive by taxi at the court door. The remark hints at possible inconsistencies in the prisoner’s surroundings during proceedings.
A spectator heckles during a marathon urging a lead runner to hurry, while the runner responds that he belongs to a different group behind and is not part of the front pack. The exchange captures the tension and race dynamics near the finish.
A judge decreed that a woman cannot spend more on clothes than on rent. Mrs. Knocker responds that this may force higher rent payments.
The remark suggests Russian rulers show little concern for traveling to Finland. The reply notes a potential aim that such visits might reveal Finnish influence or interests.
A compact exchange contrasts a poet’s license with a father’s skepticism about authorship and dog ownership. The lines hint at creative justification versus ordinary provenance in a brief, pointed dialog.
A manager confronts a $2,000 pitcher about turning on the electric light. The pitcher concedes the act and is admonished to keep fast on his wing and avoid relying on others.
A humorous exchange ponders raising a fast boy. The reply suggests a practical path by proposing training him as a messenger to channel his speed into a useful trade. The dialogue highlights parental choices in child development.
A humorous Cleveland Plain Dealer quip notes the engagement of a titled lord to Tottie Poser of the Gayety. The joke implies only fame would reveal the existence of his parents, playfully belittling family lineage.
A father resists his daughter’s marriage to a struggling writer. The younger man reveals he wrote $400,000 worth of life insurance in the previous year, illustrating a significant income from writing.
Dialogue notes that a character is nicknamed the recording angel due to his wife keeping a record of all his actions. The exchange centers on the concept of meticulous observation and accountability within a domestic setting.
Nell confesses he begged for a kiss and Belle asks if she would be sorry. Nell admits he worried about possible regret after kissing. The exchange centers on hesitation and concern in a romantic moment.
In a rural exchange, Farmer Countessel argues against corporal punishment for children. He notes local parents study grammar and table manners and feel grateful if their children show respect.
A satirical panel discusses suffrage and its politics with sharp humor. One character questions the value of the suffragette movement while another frames it as turning a goose into propaganda.
In Blank City two captains race the Marcus Baldwin and the Queen of the River through the Chute and locks. Banks wins the scramble to reach the city first, risking wreck and lives, and a month later a wedding seals the outcome of the contest.
Shipping Illustrated reports a bottle message reveals the fate of the British steamer Nutfield which vanished eight years ago on a Mobile to Havre voyage. The deck timber load caused instability in rough weather and the practice should be banned by international agreement.
A Christmas era vignette recalls Bill the Poacher facing a manor owner at dawn. The owner seeks breakfast as he tests a light switch while Bill responds with a witty quip about shared appetites, turning potential danger into humor and cleverness.
In the octagonal basin of the Jardin des Tuileries Paris the last two swans have disappeared. The male died of rheumatism and his widow of grief, leaving an exceptional couple lost to the historic park.
In a terse exchange about compensation a husband asks if his wife plays bridge and she replies yes, noting she often follows with strong poker hands. The dialogue hints at a links between skill games and personal leverage in a compensation discussion.
In Hakow the opium trade faces a monthly purge as a public bonfire destroys pipes lamps and paraphernalia valued over 10000 taels. Chinese officials and soldiers witness the act behind the British concession while Ningpo club watches. Smugglers and smokers face fines or imprisonment for possession with confiscation of all opium and utensils.
A Mrs. Geo. F. Clark of Yberia Missouri reports long trial with scalp eczema. After using Cuticura Ointment and Soap, she says the disease cleared, hair regrew, and she is now completely well. Advertisements also note Cuticura offerings. A Delhi garden experiment used methi seed to keep lawns green before a memorial ceremony.
Raymond Hitchcock recounted a western train tale about a man with bags seeking a stopover to visit distant Johnson relatives. The conductor confirms the ticket covers the next train, leaving the man unsure how long he will stay.
A Beaumont France dog showed remarkable devotion by carrying three newborn puppies ten miles back to her master after they were left with her own mother while a woodcutter gathered firewood. She then made two more trips to retrieve the remaining two, traveling about sixty miles in one night before dying by the puppies.
Floating sawmills and tannin extract plants are built on 200 by 27 foot flat boats carrying 470 tons to access water routes. They move upriver as needed, avoiding costly land plants and enabling economical lumber processing and transport.
The piece notes that women have worked as streetcar conductors in Latin American cities for years. It cites Chile during its war with Peru when men were at the front, with women taking their places on street cars in Santiago and Valparaiso and several other cities continuing the practice since.
A Saturday Review remark questions why Americans say Pleased to meet you upon introduction. The essay ponders the certainty and social function of presumed pleasure, noting that initial encounters may prove disagreeable despite the greeting.
Chippewa Falls Wisconsin and Providence Rhode Island readers report relief from organic displacement bearing down pains backache and fatigue after using Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. They credit improved health and recommend continued use stating they would publish their names to endorse the remedy.
A change in reputation marks a figure once labeled a bonehead as he achieves notable success. Supporters note a shift to respect and practical judgment, highlighting improved standing in public and professional circles.
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