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Newspaper
Advance Hustler
Location
Advance, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Aug 29, 1912
Page
3
Classified farm listing detailing multiple properties across Illinois Indiana Kansas North and South Dakota Oklahoma and Canada. Listings include acreages from 16 to 480 plus, cultivatable land stock barns orchards granaries and outbuildings. Several ads mention sacrifices or bargains due to widowhood or near-term sale.
A conversation reveals a family involved in legal trouble and social snobbery. A chauffeur faces bail while the government pursues a trust case, and the father is indicted for destroying books. A French count entertains at a country club as a sister is away.
In a humorous exchange a girl named Geraldine cries over a note from Jack that hints she could go to the bad place. The mother consoles her then reads the line claiming Hades would be heaven if she were there, brushing off the insinuation as nonsense.
In the exchange characters discuss a breakup. He claims to have called their relationship off and acknowledges being unworthy of her. She requested a formal written statement witnessed by others, prompting speculation.
A customer compliments Walker, the waiter, asking if he is the one who took the order. Walker confirms with a polite acknowledgment as the exchange ends with a humorous blessing.
Miss Cayenne argues men judge practically and heed newspaper warnings about gold bricks. She says women still marry for money, highlighting gender contrasts in financial choices and temptation.
Guests praise the bride and her attendants as they graduate in step while the orchestra plays music from Lohengrin. The line captures the formal ceremony ambiance with period charm.
A Philadelphia Saturday Evening Post note recounts an Airman Curtiss tale in which an old man tests Curtiss’s claim about arm strength and wing sprouts. Curtiss explains he eats a pint of birdseed before flights to explain his stamina and aviation prowess.
The text notes Adam’s lack of fortune and Eve’s pride in her first husband’s virtues, contrasting beliefs about luck and virtue in biblical figures. It hints at domestic dynamics and moral reflections without specifying events.
In a brief exchange, Patrice notes Peggy responds to her company. when Will touches her she is influenced by Will, and when Jack does Peggy is influenced by Jack.
Wiggins laments windy impostors in public life while Bobby counters with a sharp line about merit. The exchange appears in Puck.
A brief exchange notes a crimson airship near the setting sun. A playful, self deprecating line frames the moment as a near sighting becomes a shared joke.
A student laments lack of time to write a graduation thesis due to the pressure of fitting into a new gown. The humor arises from confusing tasks while preparing for commencement.
Comic exchange notes a diner’s frustration at a steak and a waiter’s quip that the restaurant guarantees knives but not customers’ teeth, highlighting a humorous customer service moment.
An overheard exchange at a South Side hotel ponders a critic's remarks on a sensitive author. A friend consoles that the critic must have read with attention. The scene shifts to a college alumni reunion in a banqueting hall.
A child explains the cuticle as the mucus membrane covering the surface of a person.
The new help offers to host a chafing dish party and boasts cooking skills though limited use of a gas range. The dialogue centers on competence and hospitality in domestic tasks.
Mrs. Willis Why accuses John Willis of cutting holes in his dress suit as a joke on the boys borrowing it. He admits the deed saying he will not feel bad about its condition when returned.
Reports indicate growth in Plunkville with a planned hotel and a projected theater. A two story office building is highly probable, signaling a broader development push.
A nostalgic line describes Old Opportunity mopping his brow and lingering, complaining that knocking is useless because he must ring the bell to enter. The brief scene conveys impatience and a social cue about greeting or access.
A candidate proclaims pride in his record while a listener jokes about sitting on it. A whimsy exchanges follows about a New Cat and Mrs Newed asking about slumps. The husband cites market talk as the source of the joke, ending with a playful line about living.
A campaigner questions party unity while another counters with distrust. A candidate is cited as failing to reconcile his own statements, signaling fault lines within the group amid ongoing political campaigning.
An old Paxton Toilet Company advertisement urges Red Cross Ball Blue and Paxtine for cleanliness and deodorant use. A light joke follows about a new cook, with a punchline about not leaving an address in Boston Transcript style.
Bilkins mentions a recent subscription to a new thought magazine. The remark hopes the perusal will spark fresh ideas, and notes Bilkins often dominates conversations with weather talk.
Edward Bayard Moss reviews the Olympic games in Stockholm noting thirteen new Olympic records and nine world records set by athletes. He highlights Arnold Jackson of Oxford winning the 1 500 meter run as England’s sole standout achievement.
A New York woman announced plans for numerous dresses and alterations with specified materials and dates, inviting bids from dressmakers. She is likely to choose the lowest bid, signaling a new bidding field and a rise in shop cleverness in calculating bids.
The Red Cross seal campaign will operate in nearly all states and territories including Porto Rico Canal Zone Hawaii and the Philippines with at least 100600 volunteer agents from stores theaters and individuals. It is expected at least 100000000 seals will be printed and distributed along with posters and other advertising materials.
Philip Hale favors barley water as a hot weather drink replacing iced mixtures. His method uses three pints water one and a half teacups pearl barley four lumps sugar lemon rind and juice boil steep strain and chill then pour into a jug. A buttermilk admirer adds to set the jug in a cool place and forget it.
Lady Augusta Gregory relates a comic Irish wedding story. Pat wore patent leather shoes and a flaming tie while Bridget flashed colors. After the ceremony they rode home in a cab and Bridget whispered she wished they could have watched themselves past the crowd from the sidewalk.
A Kentucky woman testifies she healed indigestion and nervous prostration after replacing breakfast with Grape Nuts and cream. She reports renewed strength and mental poise, with temporary pain only when overeating rich foods. The letter, attributed to Postum Co. and tied to The Road to Wellville, is presented as genuine and of public interest.
The Cynic and Siren debate love as concrete yet elusive while weighing marriage’s meaning. He claims knowledge proves nothing, she seeks certainty and happiness, and the pair explore whether love ends in union or dissolution before a tentative engagement.
Sir Sidney Pocock dis posed of Charlton Court Shepperton Middle sex England. In the kitchen garden an ancient mulberry tree bears a tablet recounting that during Charles II's reign a fox was hunted from Windsor park and killed in the tree. The king wished it preserved to mark the longest run of record.
A dramatic courtroom exchange shows a lawyer urging confession to seek mercy while the accused frets about possible acquittal from lack of evidence. The scene underscores strategic choices in criminal defense and trial outcomes.
Orfia, a renowned physician asked to testify as an expert in a capital trial, was pressed by the president to specify how much arsenic would kill a fly. He demanded details on the fly’s age sex temperament and marital status before answering.
A witty exchange questions self control over smoking and political party loyalty. One man claims he can quit smoking anytime, while another quips he has cured himself of voting for every party nominee, implying a strong will is needed in politics.
Advertisement style piece touts Cuticura Soap and Ointment for relieving red rough hands overnight. It includes directions to soak in hot water, dry and apply Ointment, and wear gloves, plus mentions free samples and a 32-page Skin Book. Also includes assorted product blurbs and a cartoonish joke.
An old advertisement touts Resinol Soap and Reginal Ointment as remedies for ivy poison eczema baby rashes dandruff and hair issues. It mentions free samples and directs readers to mail requests to Resinol Chem Co Baltimore Maryland.
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