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Newspaper
Advance Hustler
Location
Advance, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Apr 11, 1912
Page
3
A fragmented ad text promotes Garfield Tea as nature’s remedy for digestion and constipation. It pivots to generic phrases about rain, bed, and street scenes, then mentions Dr. Pierce’s Pleasant Pellets as a stomach and bowel regulator. The tone mirrors period newspaper filler and product pitches.
A brief dialogue recalls a boy selling papers in the street and a companion joking about hard times. The exchange hints at shared history, resilience, and old neighborhood streets.
Dialogue from New York Sun shows Stella appealing to Cholly to pressure his father to quit kicking him around, outlining a family conflict and request for change.
Dr. Roger H. Dennett, noted New York specialist on child diseases, warns in the Woman's Home Companion that exposing a child to contagious illness is dangerous. He cautions that even common diseases like measles or whooping cough carry a high death rate.
The text recounts John D. Shoop speaking at an Anti Cigarette league banquet with a retold tale of the colored man Lazarus. Lazarus laments his misfortune saying he fears the Lord will judge him harshly and he will “come fifth” when called from the tomb.
A visitor from upstate tours Manhattan in a big auto. The guide proudly points to notable buildings including the Municipal Lodging House, calling it New York’s home for cripples. When asked what kind, the reply is “Financial,” framing the institution as a bailout of crippled finances.
Banns were read at St Mary Major in Ex eter Devonshire but the groom just paid off from Portsmouth could not show commander consent. The bride fainted and returned home while the groom headed to Plymouth for the needed document.
James Wilson known as Jimmy marries Bella Knowles but soon divorces. A staged party to celebrate the anniversary uncovers deception amid a quarantine for smallpox. Aunt Selina arrives as lies unravel with Harbison, Kit, and Anne amid theft accusations and a dramatic kitchen escape.
A frantic intruder demands a rope and flees. Kit is questioned about a rooftop kiss as Betty enters in a pale blue gown. Tom clings to Kit while a cacophony of downstairs noises erupts, leaving the scene tense and unresolved.
In a tense night at the quarantined house, guards and residents confront a break in. Tubby Lawrence McGuirk, a famed second story man, is found handcuffed and led away, while Aunt Selina demands repayment for a stolen item as the crowd braces for closure.
Catalogue notices advertise Ionas items including Jaities and Iren Rample heeler Smith from Grand Forks North Dakota. It promotes The Creamy Cream for complexion, aftercare powders, sunburn relief, chafed mouth healing, and refreshing after shaving, offered at 2 cents per jar by mail from The Ricle Co Philadelphia. Also seeks agents with easy earnings and free circulars from H E Van Santford & foment.
In a London Tit-Bits vignette a businessmen says he travels so much he forgets his home and even his wife. He jokes he once eloped with a woman in a strange town and only learned she was his wife when he returned to the firm during his honeymoon.
Miss Etta Narber of Spring Lake Michigan recounts four years of eczema on her hands. She describes burning, cracking and relief after using a Cuticura Remedies set, claiming full recovery after three days. She notes samples and a 232 page booklet are mailed from Boston.
A boy trips rushing to his parents on a back platform as a mother and father react. The mother suggests the boy fell and the father leaves him. A lighthearted domestic exchange follows about a hash needing something and no clear solution.
A short exchange shows a playwright seeking feedback from a critic. The critic dismisses questions about the piece, noting a power dynamic and differing perspectives on the work.
Arthur Brisbane lauded moving pictures for education yet said newspapers remain the stronger educative force. He recalls a famous editor’s maxim that news comes from unusual events such as a man biting a dog, and suggests if none occur you should create one to report.
A fond Chicago mother plans a coming-out party for her son. The piece speculates on the youth's demeanor and attire and notes the social events he will attend while guarding him from marriage-minded fortunes.
In every city junk bottles are gathered and filled with a weak bluing solution. Do not buy water for bluing. Use Red Cross Ball Blue a 5 cent package that yields 20 cents worth of liquid blue. Makes clothes whiter than snow. At all good grocers.
A humorous column notes alimony costs shown by a woman's face powder at 400 dollars annually and questions toothpaste, hairpins, and shoestrings. It suggests men cut out the middleman by dealing with manufacturers, praising Paxtine as cheaper toilet antiseptic. The piece closes with a gag about a stubborn shutter joke and a quip about fools.
An ad proclaiming Cole’s Carboli salve stops pain from burns or cuts, heals quickly, and prevents scars. It costs 50¢ at druggists with free samples via J. W. Cole & Co. Black River Falls Wisconsin. The page also includes assorted ads for teas and remedies and quips about honesty and neighbors.
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