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This newspaper page contains 19 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Aberdeen Herald
Location
Aberdeen, Washington, United States of America
Date
Apr 18, 1901
Page
9
A Baltimore Sun quotation frames a satirical fable with two monkeys discussing humans in a cage. The First Monkey declares “Those people… are descended from us” while the Second notes that humans pay admission to see their ancestors.
A man swallowed his false teeth and became mentally unsettled, illustrating the dangers of such mishaps. The publisher promotes Hostetter’s Stomach Bitters as a cure for indigestion constipation kidney and liver troubles malaria fever and ague and nervous affections urging purchase at all druggists.
A school scene shows a teacher urging Harold to spell, but he deflects by saying he is not old enough to spell chickens and offers to be tested on eggs. The light humor underscores classroom dynamics in a period piece.
A Davenport case held Pure Food Baking Powder containing alum illegal under Iowa Pure Food laws. The Pure Food Co of Chicago sold the powder to Davenport grocers who found it harmful and refused payment. Jury verdict favored the grocers, upholding health concerns and state pure food laws.
A Yonkers Statesman comic frames a doctor and a woman debating disease spread by kissing. The punchline recalls a father catching his son in a kiss, underscoring lighthearted skepticism of the theory.
Pocket-size testimonial from Gardiner Maine detailing grip lingering after-effects and claiming Dr Williams Pink Pills for Pale People as an effective remedy. Supposed patient Sumner Cross praises the treatment, noting improved sleep appetite and energy after using six boxes, with notary endorsement. The ad lists conditions treated and pricing, urging purchase from the Dr Williams Medicine Co.
A Philadelphia Times caption notes the photographer asking a subject to look pleasant before snapping the camera then asks her to resume a natural expression. The page also advertises Garfield Tea as a blood purifying herb and includes a dialogue snippet from Over-Anxious in Harper's Bazar about engagement and return from the Philippines.
A humorous exchange unfolds at the St James Hotel as Arthur Raglan of Leeds argues over a bill with clerk Howard L. Dailey. Raglan insists on nine pounds for a night’s lodging and a breakfast, while Dailey claims the amount was settled yesterday and jokes about a baby weighing nine pounds. Raglan pays $1.50 and exits, while Dailey mutters of an unfeeling wretch and dismisses English manners.
Cupid braved Pekin danger as Mary Conger Pierce niece of Minister Conger fell for Lieut Harold Hammond of the Ninth Infantry amid the siege. A betrothal dinner followed before the Congers left China. Pierce is an orphan from Rushville UK.
The piece discusses spending for public welfare versus strict economy, urging selective reforms and avoiding job cuts that harm services. It notes navy tests on fireproofed wood from the torpedo-boat Winslow showing no loss of anti-fire quality after five years. The humorous aside contrasts readers’ interests with lumber at the hydrant and hints at roasting certain men.
Hon David Meekison a former four term mayor and Napoleon Ohio banker is cited for catarrh battle lasting thirty years. He credits Peruna with relief and directs readers to Dr Hartman for free advice from The Hartman Sanitarium Columbus. Carrie Thomas also touts Pe r una as a vital aid to performers.
A compilation of witty exchanges and mock advertisements from various papers. Highlights include a Boston girl remark about pronunciation, Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic as a malaria remedy, playful breakfast table banter, a tiny egg joke with chic reply, Mrs Winslow’s soothing syrup for teething, and a club dues post in social circles.
An advertisement extols Cascarets Candy Cathartic as a cure for disease when the body is kept clean inside and out. It promotes druggists selling 10c 20c and 5c sizes and teases political reformer satire about campaign posters in the paper.
A clipped collage reports medieval knights swearing oaths to spare no enemies, an advertisement promises Dr Klines Great Nerve Restorer cures fits and nervousness with a free trial, and notes on sugar cane height and Wiso Cure for throat and lung issues. It cites Henry Meyer of Dubois who operated multiple grinding and cutting machines and shelled 70 575 bushels of corn while building a fine residence.
A Chicago Record humor snippet shows a witty exchange about intelligence and poetry versus neckties between Dolly and a young man, highlighting playful banter in a newspaper voice. The brief item preserves names and the paper’s casual tone while avoiding sensational detail.
An old humorous vignette features Todd and Harper's Bazaar dialogue about golfing skill and family business, with a snappy exchange on never becoming a good player and the burden of overthinking.
Oregon flood Purifier is credited as guide and guard. Naturalists say the lobster will soon follow the buffalo and diamond back terrapin, signaling ecological surprises ahead.
A dialogue from the Catholic Standard and Times features a successful manufacturer chiding a slow bookkeeper. The owner insists on diligence, claiming to work at his desk early and late, while the bookkeeper parrots a similar but inconsistent routine.
A garbled passage advertises Grove’s Tasteless Chill Tonic with claims about the bottle label. It then shifts to a dialogue about Mr. Simpson, noting his habit of intruding at houses by exploiting broken items and disabilities.
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