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This newspaper page contains 13 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Yorkville Enquirer
Location
York, South Carolina, United States of America
Date
Dec 22, 1908
Page
4
In a Charleston or Augusta Chronicle humor item two boys string a big catch, divide it near a graveyard gate, and a frightened elder observer mishears a divine parceling of people. A deacon and pastor fear the devil and the Lord are distributing souls, then retreat in laughter.
A Tit-Bits anecdote contrasts Mark Twain with Washington ethics. A rich lawyer’s meerschaum bowl breaks, his 11 year old son admits to the mishap, and the father laments the peril of his profession despite praising the boy’s truthfulness.
A Methodist minister in a western town seeks aid for a refined man in need yet too proud to ask. The village editor, jokingly answering as the described gentleman, realizes the plea fits him, prompting a light moral reflection on charity and pride.
A geographic expedition to Australia hires a Negro cook who is amused by a kangaroo leaping toward the horizon. He remarks on vast meadows and asks about the size of grasshoppers, with the guide gently correcting him.
In a Philadelphia Ledger note, Uncle Zebulon and his nephew dined in a city restaurant when the nephew asked if Uncle Zebulon ever had cerebro spinal meningitis. Uncle Zebulon, after a moment, declined the inquiry and preferred fried liver and bacon.
In London Opinion a magistrate weighs conflicting speeds after a clergyman claims he traveled eighteen miles per hour while a constable asserts thirty. The magistrate probes motive, and the clergyman admits a personal history with the constable after a marriage three years prior.
A conscientious editor apologizes after a death notice he printed is questioned by the intended subject. The editor offers a correction. the man declared alive jokes about showing the obituary to friends when they seek loans.
A Princeton lecturer quotes Mr. Cleveland who criticized American business haste and speed. He recalled Cleveland saying do not rush as lightning could work better if not in such an awful hurry, noting train and boat dictation and modern quick communication as bluffs.
Mrs. E A Hardin of Chester South Carolina reports kidney weakness and back discomfort eased by Doan's Kidney Pills. She details congestion and retention of secretions, noting improved health after use. Sold by dealers for 50 cents with Foster Milburn Co Buffalo NY as sole agents. Remember the name Doan's.
Large blotting sheets advertised for fancy work at The Enquirer office offer four color options suitable for detailed printing and design tasks.
A suggestion to purchase meaningful articles to present to friends or relatives. Choose items that endure and offer practical value, serving as a long term reminder of the giver. Consider options that carry lasting usefulness and sentimental significance.
J C Wilborn lists numerous farms and residences for sale within a few miles of Yorkville, Rock Hill, and Winthrop College. Properties include 70 to 430 acre tracts, 6 to 8 room houses, multiple tenant houses, and timber land with cultivation, all marketed for quick sale with terms to suit.
The auditor of York County South Carolina announces book opening at his Yorkville office from January 1 to February 20 1909 for listing taxable property as of January 1 1909 and poll tax obligations for males 21 to 60. Returns must be sworn and mailed by February 20 1909 with district numbers for properties in multiple districts. Appointment sites and dates list several towns and days in January 1909.
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