Ministers Life Taught Me Humorous Church Trade Tales
A well known minister reflects on twenty five years in the ministry sharing humorous and poignant incidents. He recalls weddings with misread vows, parishioner barters, prayers interrupted by Amen, and a country pastor’s gift of generosity. He portrays ministry as rich, humorous, and demanding.
Dog guards dead master in Salem ending in tragedy
In Salem Massachusetts a well to do bachelor John Gynan hanged himself. His Newfoundland dog guarded his body refusing to move while police tried to remove the corpse. After fourteen bullets wounded the dog it died beside its master.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Salem
Mass
John Gynan
South Salem Point
Gynan
Oliceman
Man Refuses Bill Over Honest Miles Told
An anecdote from Lercisten Me Journal recounts a Poland man who borrowed ex Governor David Dunn s horse to visit several people. After returning and asking for payment the governor says he won t be cheated in the miles and refuses any bill.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Poland
David Dunn
Deacon Smith
Conductor Blocked by Audience Stir at Concert
An incident unfolds as a woman protests a man standing and obstructing her view of the conductor. The man identifies himself as O'Reilly and declines to sit, sparking a tense exchange during the performance.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
O'Reilly
Political honors come high in New York congressional races
A Washington correspondent recalls lavish spending in New York elections. He cites Jay Gould, Allen Thorndyke Rice, Gen Spinola, Young Astor, Perry Belmont, Levi P. Morton and others, noting large sums spent to gain nominations and seats, and contrasts campaign costs with versus a vice presidential nomination.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Washington
Pittsburg
Jay Gould
New York City
Congress
Allen Thorndyke Rice
Gen. Spinola
Young Astor
Perry Belmont
Levi P. Morton
Morton
United States
Very Diminutive People in Missouri and Kansas
At Cassville Barry county Samuel Gilmore a 40 year old farmer two feet nine inches tall weighs forty six pounds He is a justice of the peace for nine years owns a 320 acre farm manages it himself He has refused showmen offers and stays on his farm He is married with five children In Paris Monroe county two young ladies sized as children age twenty two and eighteen measure two feet eleven inches and forty one pounds one is two feet nine inches tall and fifty four pounds They are handsome stylish educated musicians and have traveled they belong to a notable family their father was over six feet tall and their mother is of medium height
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Maniske
Kansas City Str
Mae
Jie
Ma—Marr
New England
Mendelssohn
John
Ohn
Tian Brother
Cassville
Barry County
Samuel Gilmore
Paris
Monroe County
Kansas City Times
Beecher Estate Deterioration and Contested Will Rumor
Henry Ward Beecher left a modest fortune with a Peekskill estate once valued around 150000. Insurance adds about 20000 to 25000. heirs sold belongings, reducing the property value to about 85000, with a 55000 offer rejected. Rumor spreads that his simple will may be contested as his autobiography sinks in obscurity.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Henry Ward Beecher
Peekskill
Mark Twain
Endorsement of Allcock’s Porous Plaster
Letter from ex-sheriff L. T. Harrington of Chautangua County New York dated December 2 1885 extols Allcock’s Porous Plasters praising their broad usefulness. He cites rapid relief for rheumatism backache bronchitis and other pains as proof of their superior efficacy.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Chautangua County
New York
Mayville
N. Y
Allcock
L. T. Harrington
Difference Between an Engineer and a School Teacher
An engineer shapes systems and solves problems using math and design while a school teacher nurtures knowledge and skills in students. Both professions require precision, but engineers build structures and processes whereas teachers cultivate minds and learning habits.
Kemp's Balsam Advertising Claim
An advertisement touts Kemp's Balsam for the throat and lungs as the most successful remedy for coughs croup bronchitis whooping cough asthma and consumption. It urges daily use, claims a bottle can be bought at druggists for five cents or one dollar, and offers free sample bottles.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Kemp
New England Rope Patent Plays Music On Swing
A skipping rope patented in England includes a small musical box fixed to a handle end. Turning the rope causes the box to move and emit music, integrating melody with rope skipping.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
England
Waiter Debate Highlights Limits of Eloquence
A playful remark suggests waiters, tied to serving platters, cannot be eloquent since their speech is constrained to platter tubes, a humorous take on communication and service.
Log Cabin Logic Beams on Health and Human Power
The piece extols brawn and brain driving progress while warning of irregular life harming the body. It treats the human system as a regulated machine needing regular care, likening health to a watch kept wound and blood purity. It ends with a plug for Warner's Log Cabin sarsaparilla as a purifier and vitality booster.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Warner
Riddling Remark Compares Paper to an Inclined Plane
A playful riddle notes a sheet of writing paper resembles a lazy dog in being an inclined plane like a slope. The pun links lined paper with an inclined plane, humorously equating a writing sheet to a lazy animal.
A Dream of Fair Women and Women’s Health Advice
The piece praises Tennyson’s dream of women from history and urges modern readers to use Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription for women’s health and beauty. It claims the medicine, sold by druggists with a guaranteed satisfaction or money back, supports women’s health and charms.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Tennyson
Dr. Pierce
E. Ross & Coe
Toledo
Joking About Apples and Pretty Girls Sparks Canned Wit
A quip contrasts two notions of aging and attraction, suggesting a pun on squeezing an apple to ripen versus moving aside a woman to squeeze. The joke hinges on wordplay rather than a factual report or event.
Humorous Jokes and Patent Medicine Ads Note
A quip contrasts soldiers and pretty women amid ads praising Dr Sage’s Catarrh remedy. The piece offers a mock warning to a young man fond of hugging and includes a sexualized stereotype alongside promotional copy.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Dr. Sage
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Ome
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Heavenly King
Mary
Mr. Beecher
Dante
Howe
the Humane Remedy Co
la Fayette, Ind
Blair
Bex
Round
Bryant's College
Main St
Bufalo
Frazer Free Cest
Itou
Cross
Manacer
Orance Grove
Liverpool
Desote Coe
Fflorida
ScottsEmulsion
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Turner Oil
Scott & Bowne
Chemisis
Turat and Ganads
Charles A. Vogeler CO
Baltimore
Seie Proprveters
Masareis
Vincest Satts
Sc. Alem
Cortlandt
Alif ‘Urtis & Wrieht
Auguste
Maen
John L. Bishop & Son
Puerlo
Towoe
Giffman
F Hayfever
Ely
Warren St
Veet
Wores
N.C
Ki Nest
Police Goode
Dovell Arms CO
Bamnef'rs
Kesten
Mase
Northern Pacific
LOW Price Railroad
Free Free Eee
Ng Chas.e. Lamoore
Aus
Pliny
Supreme Court
Maducert Menits
Tiame
Dian Nieal Thomson
Hotorist
J. MA. Buckley
DB. D
Rochar
Areberooms
Iftth Avenue
16Th ST
Piso
Rey
Hartest
St. Ceer
Berton Mo