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Newspaper
Williston Graphic
Location
Williston, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Mar 06, 1902
Page
2
Childlike reminiscence spoken in dialect evokes Minule Belle and a trio of companions in a windy scene. The speaker recalls laughing fits, punctuated by playful mishearing, a doggerel lyric voice, and a boys and girls moment described by James Whitcomb Riley in Century.
A halfpenny paper announces Polly Bloondjehs engagement to the young duke of Rushminster, then contradicts it amid gossip and a harsh dossier. The duke leaves for the colonies after a settlement, Polly quits the variety stage for Juliet, fails at stardom, and the affair ends amid public mockery and a secret telegram plea.
In a drawing room melodrama, Polly, gravely ill with a broken heart, marries Duke Charlie Rushminster under strained pleas and doctor’s decree. After a brief, unhappy union, Polly’s revelers reveal the deception and the duke leaves, bound to sever ties and face social reckoning.
A young oyster shop worker loses his job after answering a question about a betting scheme. An employer painted white letters on turtle shells to spell oyster when aligned, offering natives as prizes, then feared the odds. The oysters remain, but the opener is gone. It warns against being too wise.
A string of lighthearted exchanges from various papers. Mr Fuss quips about keeping his taal Biredgles, Dolly argues a clever man is best, a husband buys an automobile as indulgent, and an author seeks royalties with a blunt publisher reply. The jokes include a witty father and daughter exchange and a pie anecdote from a church fair.
An essay contrasts the Hudson gulls and expatriate birds with shore observers. It argues gulls reveal their true nature when seen in their native habitat and are friendly to sailors and the sea, disliked only when misunderstood by land observers. The piece notes the gull’s simple, hardy charm and a shrill, creaking song.
A railroad worker tells how a tiny flag station near La Crosse began with a storekeeper acting as an agent. A through train slowed to check the platform, but no passengers appeared and the man admitted he flagged the train hoping someone might wish to alight.
In a humorous aside from Spare Moments and a quip from Modern Advertising Methods, young lovers on a porch compare stars to Jupiter Sirius and Mara, while a publisher realizes he can profit from an author who is supposedly dead, prompting a mock wake and mock interviews.
Clinton Zimmerman, returning from Ohio, dined at a rail station restaurant. He requested a demi-tasse, a small cup of coffee, and explained the term to the puzzled waiter. The waiter refused, saying the shop did not sell anything under five cents.
A compilation of odd human limits and humorous observations. It notes that rising from a chair without adjusting foot position is hard for many, a runner cannot give 95 yard start in a 100 yard race, and a sharp knife often fails to cut yellow cigar ribbons in one stroke. It also mentions balance challenges when blindfolded and jokes about a suspicious wife and a Santa Claus with a car.
An Atlanta court recounts a curious incident where George McPharr found a $100 hundred dollar bill belonging to Bill Curry. The bill, marked with a big C, was shown around as the recorder comments on the find and the owner. McPharr explains he did not know the bill’s value or owner, and the court lets him go with a warning rather than punishment. The judge notes the finder’s honesty may have saved Curry and the town money.
The Millinery Trade Review predicts green shades will be the inmost fashionable color for the next two or three months, pairing with white black gray and brown. Descriptions include a white felt broad-brim hat with ivy green ribbon and mistletoes and a gray homespun hat trimmed with parrot green couteaux.
A rugged elder figure recalls life on the road to maturity while a natty nephew learns from his youth. A parsonage porch scene at a pound party reveals a blush and a pinned flower as a pretty girl meets a turning point, with old stories of wit and caution.
A Derkerey student tardily enters Prof Lyle’s recitation. The professor quips that faith requires works and the student concedes his watch misled him. The exchange reflects a moral about action over belief and the need for practical judgment in daily life.
A visitor tells children lively tales of liberty bells and Washington. The boy recalls a bold scene, while the father corrects myths about the Father of his Country and a cherry tree. Also notes on alliances and a busy railway and travel exhibition in Chicago.
Nadeau Mich February 3 A farmer Nelson De Stosier aged sixty one says Dodd's Kidney Pills cured his long kidney ailment He praises the remedy as a help for weak and sick humanity Advises others with Kidney Trouble to use the pills They have relieved Bright's Disease Dropsy Rheumatism Lumbago and backache when used as directed
A reader from Chicago recounts illness starting three years ago with irregular and scanty menses followed by decline in oral health and general vitality. After family physician failed to help, Lydia E. Pinkham's Remedies allegedly cured her in four months and she reports ongoing health improvements.
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