Schoolboy Howlers From The Westminster Gazette
A collection of humorous misstatements and garbled facts from a Westminster Gazette page. Students mix up history science and grammar in playful quips and mistaken phrases.
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This newspaper page contains 26 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Westville Indicator
Location
Westville, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Oct 10, 1912
Page
4
Getting Along Fine at School
A Kansas City Star snippet recalls a mother asking a six year old Dorothy about school progress. Dorothy replies that she and Frances Smith are the smartest and best dressed girls in the school, highlighting confidence and social dynamics among youngsters.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Harrison Boulevard
Dorothy
Frances Smith
Kansas City Star
Castoria Ad Advises Caution for Parents
An advertisement urges mothers to inspect every bottle of Castoria for the signature of the manufacturer. It touts Castoria as a safe remedy used for over 30 years and notes children cry for Fletcher's Castoria.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Fletcher
Tides Rise Over Cape Land Sale
Briggs asks Bunkeed about land bought on the cape and Griggs notes that the tides bring up issues related to the property.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Griggs
Cape
Briggs
Complimentary insult and old patent medicine misprint
A fragment quotes a jab about stealing ideas and a joking “petty larceny” line. It then markets Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Teething with gums relief and claimed cures, priced at 2 cents a bottle.
Hold him a friend who kindly points a fault
A compact quotation from Punshion noting the value of truthful criticism. The line frames friendship as constructive when guiding others with gentle fault finding.
Indiana Dairy Study Shows Corn Silage Yields and Use
The article reviews corn silage yields from Indiana with 39.3 bushels per acre and 10 tons of silage per acre. It estimates dairy cows consume about 37.5 bushels of corn annually, totaling roughly 24,975,000 bushels for 666,000 dairy cows, and promotes the National Dairy Show in Chicago with a ten day short course beginning October 24.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Indiana
Chicago
Local Conversation Hints at College Aspiration
A brief dialogue notes a son at college studying to be an author and the speaker questions whether he will soon write for money. The exchange reveals humor and pride in the young man’s pursuit amid everyday family life.
Mandy Refuses Southern Housekeeper Plan in Harper’s Tale
In a boarding house for bachelors Amanda called Mandy entertains a summer plan to become a housekeeper for a man who proposes a bungalow. She coyly replies in a plantation era accent that she knows nothing about caring for animals and rejects the idea, prompting an implied refusal.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Amanda
Mandy
Harper’s Magazine
Joke About Clerical Brother
Two brothers named Chalmers, a minister and a physician, live together in a western town. A visitor asks for Mr. Chalmers and the physician answers I am he, noting the brother preaches and practices. The man is astonished by the switch.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Chalmers
Mr. Chalmers
Waffles and Butter Breakfast Linked to Dyspepsia Recovery
A man credits diet change with resolving nervous indigestion. He describes morning pain, loss of appetite, and then weight gain after switching to Grape-Nuts and stopping coffee for five weeks. Within six weeks he gained 150 pounds and regained appetite and calm.
Purdue short course opens December for Indiana fruit growers
Purdue university in Indianapolis offers the first short course for mature orchardists from December 2 to 14. Experts will teach modern spray methods, pest control, and orchard management to help Indiana fruit growers expand markets and profits.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Indianapolis
Indiana
Purdue University
Purdue
Pythian Sisters Announce Nominations At Indiana Meet
At the annual grand temple meeting in Indianapolis Indiana Pythian Sisters nominees were named for grand protector grand outer guard and other offices Carrie Klinck Logansport Florence Fanning Butler Florence Bain Decatur Kate Seaman Maggie Wildridge Ninna Johnson Julia Thomas Anna Steed Jennie Bunnel Lula Love Jennie Reed Cora Hood Os sian Mary Bostwick Hammond Tillie Fleming Warren and Harriet Fuller Knox lead nominations for senior officers Also Lew G Ellingham reports a rise in state corporate fees totaling 41512443 over two years with 16345235 more than the previous period.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Pythian Sisters
Grand Temple
Pythian Sisters of Indiana
Indiana
Grand Outer Guard
Florence Bain
Decatur
Kate Seaman
Maggie Wildridge
Ninna Johnson
Dale
Julia Thomas
Terre Haute
Anna Steed
South Bend
Jennie Bunnel
Lula Love
Jennie Reed
Cora Hood
Ossian
Mary Bostwick
Hammond
Tillie Fleming
Warren
Harriet Fuller
Knox
Laura Smith
Marion
Carrie *Mullineaux
New Albany
Icy D. Schaffer
Terré Haute
Incorporations and Dissolutions Noted in Indiana Firms
The Viquesney Printing co of Terre Haute dissolves. Sterling Absorber co of Wabash with 33000 capital to manufacture vehicle springs. United States Sales co of Indianapolis with 3100000 capital to deal in merchandise. McCrillus Medical co of Muncie increases capital by 40000. Cooley Frey Horse co of Indianapolis with 25000 capital to deal in horses. Freeble Drug co of Gary with 10000 capital to deal in drugs. Names include M Tillman C Huff J Kaiser A M Cook F M Strong William H Kershner Wiliam W Baker William B Frey H L Rood D Honorot P Honorot H Honorot.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Viquesney Printing Company
Terre Haute
Sterling “Absorber Company
Wabash
M. Tillman
C. Huff
J. Kaiser
United States Sales Company
Indianapolis
William H. Kershner
McCrillus Medical Company of
Muncie
Cooley-Frey Horse Company
Wiliam W. Baker
William B. Frey
H.L. Rood
Freeble
Drug Company
Gary
State Centennial Gathers Momentum in Indiana Plan
Plans for a 1916 state centennial celebration are advanced by the centennial commission and the Indiana state centennial celebration committee. Dr. Frank B. Wynn is elected chairman of the celebration committee, with subcommittees named for special features. an appropriation is needed to fund a State Museum and Library building. Local leaders including Senator Frank M. Kistler and Col. Charles L Jewett are cited among commission members. The drive for more live stock on Indiana farms is urged with emphasis on utilizing farm wastes and better feeding of cattle. Purdue’s Dean J. H. Skinner stresses the value of converting corn stocks and roughages into feed to boost livestock numbers.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Indiana
Centennial Commission
Frank M. Kistler
Logansport
Joseph M. Cravens
Madison
Demarchus C. Brown
Indianapolis
Col
Charles L Jewett
New Albany
Pennsylvania
Dean J. H. Skinner
Purdue University School’ of Agriculture
Elwood
Verdict of the Elections Signals Roosevelt Decline Across States
The piece argues Roosevelt's third term bid fails in Missouri Illinois Michigan Indiana Washington and other states. It claims Republicans are returning to Taft and the GOP praising Taft Sherman policies and warning against a Democratic recall and free trade. It asserts Roosevelt has no constructive program and predicts a poor presidential finish.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Roosevelt
Chicago
Taft
Republican Party
Missouri
Illinois
Michigan
Indiana
Washington
Vermont
Maine
United Republican Party
Minnesota
Colorado
California
Lincoln
Wilson
Tariff Board
Sherman
A Vote for Taft Means Prosperity and Steady Rule
A campaign message extols Taft with claims of booming business steady work and pay a home market for home people fair laws and a square deal. It asserts dignity and stable leadership in the White House and promises peace and plenty nationwide.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
White House
Taft Makes Good Showing in Troublous Time
Earlington Washington Westerner notes that Mr Taft has made a good showing during a period of trouble, reflecting positively on his performance and reception in the current climate.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Mr. Taft
Earlington
Wash
Growth and strength noted by Rockford Gazette
The administration strengthens daily as the Rockford Illinois Gazette reports tangible gains and growing influence. Officials highlight progress across departments and ongoing initiatives shaping policy and public service.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Rockford — (Ill
Voters to Realize Evils of Democratic Control
Thousands of wavering voters may shift to the Republican fold once they realize the evils likely to follow a Democratic accession to power.
Taft Election Victory Painted As Likely By Large Margin
The record notes many who voted for the Colonel in the primaries trusted Taft to safeguard Republican interests, while claims of a large majority being assured suggest strong support for Taft at the polls.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Taft
Local Dialect Gag About Making Forty Cents
A humorous rural dialogue has a speaker wondering aloud how to amass forty cents by getting thirty-three cents from one person and another thirty from another, plus four more to reach a total. The exchange highlights exaggerated math in playful dialect.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Rastus
Case of Skin Ailment Healed by Cuticura Remedies
Mrs Anna A Lew of Hilltop Kansas describes a two year leg eruption with severe itching and sores. She credits Cuticura Soap and Ointment, used from a sample then full supply, with curing the condition and leaving no scar. Advertisement promotes Cuticura products and a free 32 page Skin Book from Cuticura Dept L Boston.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Hilltop
Kan
Anna A. Lew
Cuticura
Dept. L
Boston
Mixed Metaphors Dialogue Reveals Tension and Drill
A brief exchange shows a playful yet pointed clash as one speaker jokes about boredom while another asserts being well drilled. The lines hint at discipline, control, and interpersonal dynamics in a concise, streetwise exchange.
Cole's Carbolisalye Heals Itching Skin Aids Smoothness
Advertising copy announces Cole's Carbolisalye cures itching skin diseases and leaves skin smooth. Sold by all druggists for 25 and 50 cents.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cole
Change of life women face crisis warns of health risks
An article outlines the perils of the change of life for women with warning symptoms and urges Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound as a remedy. A testimonial from Mrs Esterta Gillis of St Anne Illinois claims the medicine restored health and enabled her to resume housework.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Lydia E. Pinkham
St. Anne, Tl
Per
Lydia E. Pinham
Esterta Gillis R.F
Box
St. Anne, Ilinois
Also Mentioned on This Page
Julius Caesar
Westminster Gazette
Inol
Resinol Chem. Co
Baltimore
Carter
Carters
Lewiss
Montgomery Co
Andrew Clements
Crawfordasvile
Ind
Yarme—Phillips Co
Ark
Corma
St. Bie Leake & Rx
St. BB
Poate G
University Farm
Ocober
Indiapolis
Central Reserve
Andrew Smith
Earl S& Gwin
Second National Bank
America
M. L. Haines
First Presbyterian Church
Charles W. Fairbanks
Roger W. Babson
Wellesley Hills
Mass
B. F. Harris
Illinois Bankers’ Association
Champaign
Joseph Chapman, Jr
State Bankers’ Associations
Minneapolis
Minn
A. B. Philpott
Central Christian Church
Man In the Mirror
E. St. Elmo Lewis
Burroughs Adding Machine Company
Detroit
Mich
Central Bureau of Credit Information
Harry A. Wheeler
Union Trust Company
Dick Miller
Trust Company
Joshua Stansfield
Meridian Street
M. EB
Joseph B. Kelly
People’s Bank and Trust Company
Mount Vernon
W. H. O'Brien
Auditor of State
Banking and Reform
Robert W. Bonynge
Denver
Colo
Fred K. Shepard
Fletcher Savings and Trust Company
Edwin H. Ferry
Central Trust Company
Lew G. Ellingham
Roosevelt’s. ‘Democratic “Aid Society
Dean’s
Anna Boussard
Sycamore Sti
St. Paul
Doan
Foster-Milburn CO
Buffalo, N. Y
Hiffemores
Whittemore Bros. & Co
Albany 81
Cambridge
Mas
Parker
Brogeiste
Estella Gillispie
W.l.douglas
W. L. Douglas
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