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Newspaper
Wauwatosa News
Location
Wauwatosa, Wisconsin, United States of America
Date
Jun 05, 1908
Page
2
The exchange features a teacher remark about always being at the foot of the class and a superintendent quip about the teacher's father being a chiropodist, hinting at a light classroom exchange and local humor.
A Cleveland Plain Dealer poem notes global ice drift and shifting poles. The piece flags turmoil in polar regions and shifting hemispheric centers as tropical zones feel the chill.
A western congressman noted for affability and absent-mindedness steps from a train after a hard campaign. His daughter Alberta rushes to kiss him, prompting a tender, if mechanical, line about his dear old father. Success Magazine.
A nostalgic verse bids farewell to an old derby hat bought in 1999. The speaker recalls its loyal service through work and travel, noting many gusts and even a portly dame as occupants. The hat will be replaced by a straw for the upcoming summer, with a promise to reunite in the fall.
A brief comic dialogue swaps pain and remedy between a victim and a doctor. The victim asks for relief from a persistent headache while the doctor notes the headache is unusual for the patient, hinting at a prior absence of such pain.
A tired jester asks August master to release him so he may rest and seek new fields. The king and courtiers laugh and plead for the jester to stay, claiming he grows funnier daily, while the jester awaits his fate and a moral about losing one’s joys.
A historical newspaper item records Brother Bunkum's confession admitting thefts in a courtroom scene. The text notes his mistimed bravado and a humorously stylized account of his plea as he acknowledges wrongdoing under pressure. The report emphasizes the legal outcome and the character sketch of the defendant.
Tom P. Morgan embodies a humorous confession from Smart Set, claiming he stole some fowls yet spared others. He jokes about skirting jail while claiming to favor religious causes and social schemes, urging mercy from judges and peers.
A boy named Billy Martin aged four rushed to his mother in ecstasy claiming Louise and Carberry planned a funeral for a dead cat. After permission was granted he returned later and reported the funeral did not happen because the cat was too dead.
A Connecticut man recalls a Had dam resident famed for stubbornness. The neighbor spent years hollowing a rectangular rock hole behind his house, insisting he would be buried there with stones piled above him, ready for judgment day when Gabriel blows his horn.
A playful verse imagines Eve remarking on Adam's scant attire as a judge notes the humor. The quip captures a light legal tone about appearances and propriety in a biblical frame.
A witty exchange highlights a music publisher asking for an A flat piece while the composer confesses fear of the janitor. The brief vignette hinges on a musical request and a humorous personal fear, reflecting studio dynamics.
A New Yorker back from Chicago notes a sad scene of the times. A fine old-fashioned lakefront house on Clark Street bears a broad front door with golden letters reading Optimists' Club and prominent placards reading To Let. Harper's Weekly.
A quoted exchange in Town Topics ponders the moniker The Tenderloin city district. The joke suggests policemen receive fine treatment, implying a play on steak and policing. The fragment reflects urban slang and social commentary of the era.
A South Sea Islander in a local tavern defends his English roots after a guest challenges him. He recalls his grandfather helping to eat Capt. Cook, delivering a pointed rebuttal about lineage. The remark appears in Reynolds’ News.
Women trim for anniversary Sunday in an Irish church. The minister jokes about stepping on tacks during the sermon. A parishioner retorts with humor while others exchange quips about singing and uniformity.
Eight families named Smith in the Main Street Baptist Church of Saco Mo organized a united entertainment for parish funds. The entire program featured Smith family acts from start to finish, showcasing community spirit and local talent.
A Nashville American excerpt describes a cheerful, manipulative peddler who lures victims with sweet talk and false gifts. The piece paints a shady figure who thrives on deceit, luring men and women of all ages into a damaging scheme to extract gain, portraying a hard-edged cautionary portrait of cons.
Dorothy Bliss Usher depicts Major Weld racing from Seattle to New York to stop Grace Halstead from marrying James Cook Philips. Graces hides a grandmother’s gold cross as a catalyst, while Grace and Weld converge on Trinity Church in a tense, fate-driven bridal moment.
Grace elopes with Weld after a dramatic chase through New York streets. A convoy of six motor cars pursues, halting at the Brooklyn Bridge and Fourth Avenue before arrests slow the group. The couple wed in Harlem, sail to Boston, then depart for England. Mr Halstead forgives Grace after she pleads from London.
A New York Sun clipping describes San Francisco’s shift from the old wine bums to a growing mescal problem on Barbary coast and Kearny Street. It notes cheap five cent wine rooms and the mescal fiend causing more trouble, with police quotes about multiple fallen men in the streets.
A Seattle court found Guy C. Stratton, lumberman and millionaire, guilty of second degree murder for a touring car killing a girl. The ruling marks Washington as the first U S state to apply a statute making auto fatalities a crime, with a $5000 fine and one to twenty years in prison. The opinion argues speeders threaten public safety and that police patrols and previous arrests should deter reckless driving nationwide.
The culture systems of Asia vary greatly with distinct civilizational bases in China and India, forming a gulf between eastern and European cultures. The remark notes that even the two major eastern civilizations differ as much from Europe as they do from each other.
French farmers near the Channel ports are urged to expand chicken keeping to meet England's demand for new laid eggs. G. Labadie-Lagrave notes England consumes about 4.4 million eggs yearly and imports billions from abroad. He recommends black or bright plumage hens to yield dark yellow shells selling at 8 to 10 cents a dozen wholesale in London.
The explosion of a gasoline launch on White River near Clarendon, Arkansas, killed seven young people and prompts renewed calls to safeguard life where liquid fuel powers engines. The piece notes oil use in ships grows slowly due to fire risk, but naval experts foresee broader adoption for speed. Britain and Germany already employ oil on fast torpedo boats, with Canadian fuel investigations and a predicted transatlantic liner soon to switch.
Britain fears higher taxes from proposed old age pension plans. Lancashire cotton man Alfred Butterworth offered 1.25 to everyone over 65 in Oldham and Chadderton to test costs. He estimates national pension annual cost at 104,260,000, with Germany facing a 250,000,000 deficit from new widows and orphans insurance. The piece warns governments may create paupers by funding pensions with heavy taxes.
Walker Brannock travels the country and spots a drove of hogs that, though lean, repeatedly shift locations in the field. A buyer notes their nervousness and lighter weight, while the farmer explains his voice loss and fence pounding caused by woodpeckers, with hogs driven to death as warm weather returns.
A New York Tribune piece extols Paris as a modern yet historic magnet. It praises the Louvre and Musée de Luxembourg for art, Notre Dame’s setting, and varied churches like Madeleine and Sacre Coeur. The essay notes Paris’s evolving boundaries and cosmopolitan charm, urging visitors to linger and absorb its layered history.
In a tale from a forgotten era Mrs Wilcox followed her husband Jack’s fire advice. She spread a rug over a flaming hat on a gas jet and ran to phone for help, only to realize she should have turned off the gas. Estelle the maid stamped out the blaze after the rug failed to smother it.
A travel anecdote recounts a sea voyage from Dieppe to New Haven with seasickness aboard. An American passenger warns travelers that sailors may face danger and discomfort at sea, recounting a biting exchange about courage, illness, and crossing cultures aboard a lake boat.
Citizens report their five long railroad, once owned locally, vanished overnight last Friday. President Botts and staff insist the rails were secured, engine chained, and right of way nailed, yet by Saturday morning nothing remained. A reward has been offered as business and rail service halt in the community.
A terse note on how sharp frosts and cutting winds irritate the skin and test hygiene practices. It mentions discomfort and necessary endurance in trying weather, concluding with a vague reference to a hospital.
A fragment from London Opinion recounts a quiet quarrel over a letter. A husband asks about posting it while the wife recalls urging him to do so, revealing domestic tensions and the era's casual references to postal duties.
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