Final for Lancashire football cup sparks turf clash
The Preston district rivals faced a bare field in the championship final, prompting quips about grazing as they struggled on ground with scarcely a blade of grass visible.
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This newspaper page contains 13 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Washington Evening Journal
Location
Washington, Iowa, United States of America
Date
May 08, 1911
Page
7
The Preston district rivals faced a bare field in the championship final, prompting quips about grazing as they struggled on ground with scarcely a blade of grass visible.
One hundred dollars reward for a case of catarrh not cured by Hall's Catarrh Cure. Endorsed by Walding Kinnan Marvin. Cheney's integrity vouched by long acquaintance. Cure taken internally. testimonials and price per bottle offered. Also Hall's Family Pills for constipation.
A fragment quoted from Life magazine contrasts judgments of men and women. It includes lines about the milk man and the baker and a proverb about a pen versus a pencil. The tone is witty and observational.
In a lighthearted Scrap Book item Mrs. Brown boasts of discovering her husband’s so called archaeology hobby. She found a set of odd “Ueckets” marked Mudhorse 8&8 to 1 claiming they are relics of a lost race, a joke on Mrs. Jones about clever bragging.
The verse highlights a simple belief that sunshine and promise suffice for the pilgrim’s journey. A quoted American writer recalls English boardinghouse life with sharp humor, describing rough rooms, plain food, and gossip about a former actress who rose to stardom.
The hall echoed with tap pings and swishing skirts as women danced while two men watched. One comments on a sharp nosed woman, claiming she meddles in others affairs. The punch line reveals the woman is the last wife one man married, surprising the other.
A book event sought Joseph G. Cannon in the House to showcase an elaborate edition he did not want. After reviewing the arrival he deemed it overvalued and paid the agent with a $73 check. On the back he wrote a note praising the agent for a slick deal, calling the edition a bargain only for the ease and grace with which he outwitted Uncle Joe.
Owen Seaman, editor of Punch, was the principal guest at a London Authors' club dinner focused on humor. A short tale featuring three characters, a bluebottle fly and two Scotsmen, opened the discussion with whisky in evidence and a comic chase as one Scot ponders if a fly is a birdie or beastie.
A fragmented column recalls ship life on Lake Michigan with a salt water sailor’s reminiscences and a watchman tale. Humorous vignettes include an Irish joke about heaven and hell and a timid widow fending off an insurance agent. The piece evokes nautical lore, theater districts, and a Scottish reminiscence with colorful dialect and local color.
Valley Forté Camp schedule notes S65 on Thursdays at the hall on North Side Square. Peets welcome as part of weekly gathering.
Washington Leodee and J W Merton Cyrus Chapter hold regular monthly meetings. Bethlehem Commandery and Washington Chapter gather on fixed weeknights with all members urged to attend, including Mrs Myrtie and other fraters.
In a rustic camp scene two Oklahoma men barter over horses. Bill and Sam agree to swap a bay and a roan after a flurry of joking brags and dry wit. Both recounts end with the exchange and the revelation that their mounts died, shoes removed, in a wry survival joke.
A fragmented line lists times 435 am 4 00 am 6 05 pm 9 45 pm and 12 25 am with no clear subject or context. No stable names places or events are readable.
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