Humor and Philosophy Bits From a 19th Century Column
A collection of wry maxims on mood, luck, law, money, and character. Witty lines discuss elevating spirit, wary advice, and the folly of appetite for polite praise. The tone blends irony with practical observations, offering compact reflections on everyday conduct.
I’m Not a Better Man Yet I Will Vote Anyway
In this verse the speaker asserts equal worth to wealthier rivals and declares intent to vote. He claims no superior merit but emphasizes personal honesty and support from his wife. The piece underscores democratic participation over social status and wealth.
X ray tale sparks wonder about unseen inside records
A dialogue celebrates X ray insight and imagination about seeing inside the body. A family doctor once claimed to glimpse a stomach’s contents by eye, sparking debate over what X rays can reveal and the limits of medical knowledge.
I do and I don't on the fence
A verse about a fence sitter at odds with himself as he oscillates between affirmations and refusals. The speaker mocks the man for lacking sense while the refrain repeats contradictory lines about agreement and denial.
Let Them Learn To Swim In The Bathtub
A timid mother laments drownings and asks how her children should learn to swim. The reply suggests teaching in the bathtub as a safe alternative to water play.
Drinking men seek to drown sorrow in defiant denial
A terse exchange questions why drinkers cling to sorrow and how they resist giving up the habit. The dialogue hints at the difficulty of drowning sorrow and the stubbornness involved in quitting.
Exchange of Loyalties Echoes in Courtship
A witty dialogue contrasts actions and feelings in love. One figure declares he feels wronged, while another asserts a deeper sense of betrayal, hinting at a romantic rift and social stakes in a bygone era.
Sure Sign Last Year Straw Batto Season
Flo is making his last year's straw Batto this season. He expressed uncertainty about his worries.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Flo
JAPANESE POACHERS SEIZED NEAR SEAL ISLAND
The revenue cutter Manning captured two Japanese fishing schooners, the Nitto Maru and the Kaimo, near St Paul Island on July 5 for sealing violations. Vessels were to Okanaska, crews jailed in Ungi, and they face a U S commissioner. The Japanese embassy notified, no diplomatic incident expected.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Washington
State Department
Revenue Cutter
Manning
Seal Island
St. Paul
Oanalaska
United States
Ungi
Deaconess Fashion Sparks Chicago Camp Meeting Talk
Miss Ida A. Jordan of Davenport Illinois addresses Des Plaines camp meeting about deaconesses in stee business. She denounces chatter over their bonnets and faces and urges focus on their work amid ongoing costume debate.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Chicago
Ida A. Jordan
Davenport
Des Plaines
Trade certificates equal weight with German exports
The department notified Great Britain and France that it will accept their chamber of commerce certificates with the same authority as German certificates for valuing exports to the United States.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Germany
Washington
State Department
Great Britain
France
Treasury Department
United States
Mob attacks man after street fight in Marion
In Marion Indiana on July 19 a fight with Lillian Gullion led to a mob forming to hang Clark Smith a Black man. Officer McPherson intervened fighting through the crowd and dragging Smith to jail while warding off mob attackers with his club. The mob pursued them to the jail steps.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Marion
Ind
Lillian Gullion
Clark Smith
McPherson
Keasey Fined for Slander Against Local Teacher
E L Keasey a farm paper writer was found guilty of writing slanderous articles about Roy McCut ter a school teacher in South Haven Michigan. He was fined zero dollars and will appeal to the circuit court. It is alleged he sought to drive McCotter from the county through the defamatory pieces.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
South Haven
Mich
E. L. Keasey
Roy McCutter
Keasey
McCotter
Hit
Weather Recap For Tonight Across Regions
The forecast shows Illinois and Indiana fair in the south with showers in the north. Lower Michigan and Wisconsin with showers, Iowa fair. Northern areas expected to see rain through the evening with varying conditions in the southern and midwestern states.
Markets Report Chicago July 18 Wheat and Live Stock Prices
Chicago Board of Trade quotations for July to Dec futures across Wheat Corn Oats and meats with weekly ranges and closes. Also daily live stock bids from Chicago and East Buffalo noting hog cattle and sheep receipts and price bands for prime and good quality stock. Joint totals include hogs 23 000 head cattle 6 500 sheep 10 000 and East Buffalo quotes for hogs calves lambs and other classes.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Chicago
Chicago Board of Trade
East Buffalo
N. Y
Dunning & Stevens
Live Stock Commission
King Cole Fiddlers Three tale joins a palace strike
A whimsical tale opens with Amazi Klopper naming triplet boys Bizzle Buzzle and Bozzle and their fiddle adventures. The trio’s music stirs a riot of dancing in a park and even moves a stately old man to joyous display before they reach King Cole’s palace amid a sweeping strike. Also notes a Muskogee Oklahoma potato crop earning $81 per acre with a second crop projected at $50 per acre and volunteers sprouting potatoes along roadsides.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Ing Cole
Mother Goose
Robert
Amazi Klopper
Bizzle
Buzzle
Bozzle
Amazi
Indian Territory
William Gulager
Muskogee
I. T
Kansas City Star
The Fiddlers of Biz Buz Boz in Royal Waltz
In a tale of three brothers Biz Buz and Boz conflict with their cruel father and fear of burning their fiddles. They stage a last solemn waltz to cheer forest creatures before promising to perform for crowds in the village. They strike a bargain with King Cole to play in the palace, ending disputes with a dancing fever and a feast.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Biz
Buz
Boz
King Cole
Riddle: Conundrum on a Photograph Lookalike
A brainless face riddle reveals the answer as a photograph. The speaker claims similar eyes mouth and hair but no brain, pointing to a mirror image or photograph as the solution.
Squirrel Ways
A writer in Forest and Stream analyses a gray squirrel's antics on a fence. The animal zigzags along rails, investigates grass, digs for buried nuts, and stores up a confident exit to the woods while observing observers with sideways looks.
Gentlemen Exchange on Carriage Courtesy
A crowded carriage prompts a witty exchange. King asserts men tire of being accused of surrendering seats only to pretty girls, while Ihe-Not responds with polite humor and defends their courteous actions.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
King
Cock Penny as Pay for Schoolmasters in Cumberland
The article notes that in early eighteenth century Cumberland the practice of paying schoolmasters with a cock penny was common. Boys staged a cock fight before Lent, each paying the master for the privilege, making the cock penny a legitimate part of the teachers’ income.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cumberland
Minneapolis Journal
Secret dispatches carried by John H. Surratt as Confederate spy
David Homer Bates writes in Century that in his youth John H. Surratt acted as a Confederate spy. He transported dispatches along the Potomac boats and in a buggy, claiming he never met more incompetent U S detectives who failed to detect him.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
John H. Surratt
Washington
Potomac
United States
David Homer Bates
Century
Foley's Honey and Tar Cures Coughs Safe for Consumption
All nations fight the white plague while Foley Honey and Tar cures coughs and colds perfectly and guards against consumption. Do not risk health with unknown preparations. The genuine product comes in a yellow package and is sold by all druggists.
Tell Your Troubles to the Police
Advertises police assistance with promises of reliable service and material supplies for house building. Urges readers to approach with confidence, noting a friendly reputation and the ability to furnish building materials.
Also Mentioned on This Page
Ginger
Josh
Pacific Ocean
Bonnet
Chicago Grain
King Cole’s Fiddlers
Cole
Sprague Correspondence School OF Law
Detroit
Astrnes
John K. Steen
Madison Street
Iowa
E.£. Vrooman
Aity
J. K. Steen
The
Eldorado
Foley
Bright’s
Hanberlaing
Just
North Side