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This newspaper page contains 20 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Washington Evening Journal
Location
Washington, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Aug 04, 1910
Page
7
An incoming liner passenger finds a seed-like pearl in an oyster and a small fishhook in beefsteak. He asks the waiter with a straight face where oysters are shot and why steaks are eaten with a hook and line.
A fragment from Henry van Dyke celebrates that true home lies in love and friendship rather than marble floors or gilded walls. It asserts that any house with warmth and companionship becomes a home where the heart rests, regardless of location or page context.
In the museum ornithology room a visitor asks what ducks are in a glass case. A museum attendant replies Labrador ducks, shot in 1856 and now extinct, noting the specimen was bought for 1000 and that the odor is unpleasant.
An old veteran recalls the Alma battle with vivid danger as bullets rain and cannons thunder He describes being cut off by the enemy and improvising a fallback plan after a tense moment in his regiment The tale ends with a humorous twist as he admits the delay before acting.
Sir Charles Todd led the Adelaide observatory and SA weather bureau for years. A local weather prophet in a small town revealed his method, saying he always predicts the opposite of Todd’s forecast to “score.”
A curio on punning in journalism cites Tom Hood and Dr. Johnson, noting puns as a dwindling craft among modern humorists. It recalls old paper rivalries like Burlington Hawk Eye and Arkansaw Traveler stylists and mocks contemporary tastes.
Admiral Robin Maresty recalls a humorous tea scene described in Two Admirals. In Then Pach court yard a mandarin and guard were offered tea, the sergeant orders arms and the troops drink, then reseat and resume duty, the clash of ceremony and military routine.
In early Winnipeg a police officer finds a man with the tip of his wooden leg in a sidewalk hole at dawn. The man hurries away saying he must get home before his wife wakes. The anecdote recalls old city life and wooden sidewalks with water holes.
Mrs U S Grant spends a summer in New England where a native woman brings eggs. Mrs Grant asks about a colt that died, and the woman explains they had the animal for nearly twenty two years, saying they loved every inch of it as part of the family.
A man prone to excess signs a temperance pledge at his wife s urging. She keeps the pledge for him claiming to be the dependable keeper. The next day he resumes drinking tgalu, kept under his wife s control as he admits he need not keep it himself.
Senator Noort quotes a saying about silent lawyering. A widowed mother seeks settlement of her estate and brings her ten year old daughter. The child resists the lawyer and tells her mother she does not want or trust him to visit their home.
A seaside girl recounts nearly drowning when a strong swimmer saved her near a pier. A gold cross she valued little was recovered by a man later revealed to be the yacht owner, who refused reward and offered the cross as a token of their meeting.
A gushing visitor in a newsroom bids farewell to editors including Mr Davenport and Mr Niles. Davenport jokes about where she is going, imagining if it were different street exits.
A pious looking woman visits a London birdshop seeking a talking parrot. The proprietor hawks a missionary brought bird, claiming its oratory rivals a hymn book. After bidding 25 shillings, the deal closes amid quirky talk of its curious blemish and ambitions.
A six year old Ruth frets over differences with her father asserting she has most things. She insists Alice has something she does not, revealing Alice’s ride to her grandma’s funeral. The short exchange highlights sibling envy and family dynamics.
A physician told friends that people confuse poisonous and venomous snakes. He explained venom must be injected into the bloodstream to be fatal, while ingestion has little effect, noting that venom acts internally only when delivered directly into circulation.
An excited citizen rushed to the police station claiming life danger from a threatening letter. The captain granted a permit to carry a fan, deemed the necessary weapon to keep him cool.
The text cites a classic apology where a famed statesman, after heated debate, retracts an earlier accusation. He admits calling the opposing right honorable gentleman dishonest and unscrupulous, expressing regret in a calmer moment.
A humorous exchange about an elevator outage appears in the Boston Transcript. Hobbs jokes that the elevator is out of order while Dohhe notes a sign asking to pardon the delay as the elevator fails to rise.
An 18th century style brief notes a betrothal dispute and a mock vow offer that references death. The excerpt features a speaker labeled Mergyman and a quoted line about the desert of Tantalus as a moral tease.
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