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This newspaper page contains 19 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Washburn Times
Location
Washburn, Wisconsin, United States of America
Date
Aug 13, 1908
Page
6
Peter and Paul travel on a hot day near a tavern when they decide to gamble for refreshments. Paul rolls double sixes and Peter counters with double sevens. Paul rebukes Peter saying there are no miracles between friends.
A Longfellow ode to the Union is quoted amid a dramatic exchange as a banker dismisses poetry as trifling. The fat poet defends art, noting rhymes stretch beyond common words while the banker struggles to rhyme familiar terms like lounge sylph wasp and bilge depth wolf.
A collection of brief anecdotes features Mark Twain replying to Eugene Ware about a compliment, Andrew Carnegie hosting a Montenegrin prince with a Highland salute, a joke about Irish and English patriotism, a Scottish waiter incident, and a winter calendar sales pitch in a cafe.
A cafe vendor tricks a married couple with a calendar sale. The wife pays a quarter, the husband learns, and the vendor deflects pursuit with a new calendar and another quarter. Also included are brief jokes about the denial of marriage, somnambulism, music taste, and conductors comments on performance.
Mrs Grant asked the general to discharge their coachman who had made a batch of simple errand. The hero of Appomattox replied that if John could do everything right he would not need to be their coachman.
Lord Wolseley halted a Kitchen orderly to inspect dinner soup. He lifted the lid, took a taste, and declared the dish disgraceful. He said the contents tasted like dishwater, prompting a blunt exchange with the waiting attendant.
A church scene recounts a dramatic interruption by a debt collector for Cache & Co. asking Dr. Henry Smith when to settle an account. The tale contrasts a quiet service with a visitor’s urgent demand and the doctor’s weary response amid the congregation. A later note cites Andrew Carnegie recalling autumn golf talk with his caddie Angus about Scottish winters and the constant cycle of weather.
Paris correspondence recounts Baron Verly’s claimed authentic account of Napoleon III deliberately courting death at Sedan. It describes the emperor riding out under fire, inspecting positions, and refusing to flee as shells fell, ultimately escaping fatal injury but avoiding defeat’s disgrace by surviving the field.
The Paris Eclair recounts a Martinique tale in which Sergeant Legrand frees a sleeping lancehead from Private Durand’s chest by milk and music. The six foot snake is slain by cudgels as Durand regains consciousness, later returning to France with his hair turned snowy white.
The Frenchwoman is praised for charm more than classical form and outline. France is described as the most woman governed, yet peaceful, prosperous, and contented, with women said to rule by charm. The note reflects a Stormy Petrel quote on gender and national character.
In a London theater a magician’s egg bag act backfired when his new assistant drew an old rooster instead of the expected hen. The bird strutted the stage crowing while the audience laughed and the magician sought help to finish the trick.
An angry Detroit citizen visits the superintendent to demand compensation after a conductor tore more than a yard of his wife’s dress when boarding a trolley car. He offers the torn fabric as proof and asks for matching material. The exchange is recounted in a parodic style.
An oblique humor item from the Louisville Courier Journal questions who built Babylon’s hanging gardens and why, joking that a king sought to outwit neighbors' chickens rather than for grand ambition.
In this era view Farmer Ryetop reports farm workers show a consistent stance as they pause by barns or fences during planting and harvest periods, a habit observed when the public eyes are turned away.
A terse exchange contrasts parental concern with a student’s scant study. The Judge comments on the high price of learning while a Greek proverb notes the allure of the unknown as magnificent.
In a Chicago Tribune dining vignette, Cholly surveys a bill of fare with languor and asks for temptations. The waitress suggests hot biscuits and he orders a hot biscuit stew, settling the meal as a remedy for his prostrate appetite.
The exchange centers on Mrs. Bimm as a witness in a hearing with a child noting discomfort when visitors linger too long. The child speaks about feeling nervous and wriggling in response to lengthy stays by outsiders.
In Grant Duff's Notes From a Diary, Landseer the renowned animal painter is told by the Portuguese king, I am so glad to see you. I always like beasts. The remark underscores the monarchs witty, if brusque, humor about natural history and art.
In a bookstore a customer asks for Antony and Cleopatra but can only offer 50 cents. The clerk offers Harper's Weekly for a dollar.
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