14 May 1878
Page 1
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Newspaper
Warren Mail
Location
Warren, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Date
May 14, 1878
Page
1
A collection of quips and anecdotes from the Elmira Advertiser featuring wordplay on wives and husbands, Irish and English twice told stories, and light social satire. Jests reference poets, ministers, barbers, and a Sunday school scene with bright regional flourishes.
A country walk with a stubborn horse and a shy farm girl leads to a chance meeting with Charles Marks, who is far from Daisyville and offers to help. The pair bond, Charley redirects to his old home, and a plan unfolds for a new life at Grass town with Bessie Gray as the April to May transition blooms. The story hints at a joyful future with Charley retired from toil and a new mistress at the big house.
A reminiscence traces James A Garfield from obscurity as a canal boat driver to teaching, college presidency, and political ascent. The tale recalls his early schooling, discipline of bullies at Hiram, and later congressional clashes, with aside notes on Edison and a brief army training prediction for a race against Indians.
The census reports a total population around 38.25 million. Deaths total 492,263 about 1 349 daily. March is the deadliest month with a 1 000 lead, and March–May form the deadliest quarter by over 13 000. Births total 1 100 475 about 3 000 daily. The blind number about 20 000. the deaf and dumb about 16 000. the idiotic about 24 000. the insane about 37 000 mainly foreign born. Over 80 years total about 150 000. over 90 about 7 000. over 100 about 3 500. Among those over 80 women outnumber men by about 12 000. over 90 by 1 200. over 100 by about 1 000.
A long-married woman offers timeless guidance for newlyweds and couples. She urges keeping private domestic life within the couple, avoiding outside confidants, healing rifts promptly, and renewing vows daily to strengthen union and spiritual bond.
A columnist extols the value of cheerful, happy women in marriage not for beauty or wealth but for resilience. Happy wives ease troubles, lift moods, and guide daily life with hopeful spirits, making family life brighter even in hardship.
A future feminine diary recounts a week of civic duty and personal test, noting jury service, a special constable role during riots, militia fears, a coroner's inquest, contempt in court, and reflections on women’s rights and sisterly battles in Detroit. The piece blends Punch satire and a Free Press exchange on gender roles and authority.
The measure prohibiting coinage of twenty cent pieces has passed both houses and will be approved by the President.
Dr Kings New Discovery praised for speedy relief of consumption, bronchitis, asthma, coughs, sore throat, and lingering throat and chest diseases. World wide reputation cited with doctors, clergy, and press endorsing it. Trial bottle free, regular bottle $1, Morck & Co. sells.
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