Jokes and Wit From Elmira Advertiser Humorous Snippets
A collection of quips and anecdotes from the Elmira Advertiser featuring wordplay on wives and husbands, Irish and English twice told stories, and light social satire. Jests reference poets, ministers, barbers, and a Sunday school scene with bright regional flourishes.
May Day Meander Ends with Charley and Daisyville Hope
A country walk with a stubborn horse and a shy farm girl leads to a chance meeting with Charles Marks, who is far from Daisyville and offers to help. The pair bond, Charley redirects to his old home, and a plan unfolds for a new life at Grass town with Bessie Gray as the April to May transition blooms. The story hints at a joyful future with Charley retired from toil and a new mistress at the big house.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Provident
Satan
Chicago Times
Josh Billings
Jennie June
Erin
Omaha
England
Britannia
Bridget
Nora
Cook
Tom
May
April
Charley
Lion
Father
Grasstown
Daisyville
G’long
Miss Gray
Bessie
Charles Marks
Mr. Marks
Garfield’s rise from canal boat to Congress and college head
A reminiscence traces James A Garfield from obscurity as a canal boat driver to teaching, college presidency, and political ascent. The tale recalls his early schooling, discipline of bullies at Hiram, and later congressional clashes, with aside notes on Edison and a brief army training prediction for a race against Indians.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Congress
James A Garfield
Ohio
Garfield
Mr. Patrick
James
Patrick
James A. Garfield
Hiram College
Hiram Institute
Portage County
William College
Campbellite
U.S. Army
Statistics of the Last United States Census
The census reports a total population around 38.25 million. Deaths total 492,263 about 1 349 daily. March is the deadliest month with a 1 000 lead, and March–May form the deadliest quarter by over 13 000. Births total 1 100 475 about 3 000 daily. The blind number about 20 000. the deaf and dumb about 16 000. the idiotic about 24 000. the insane about 37 000 mainly foreign born. Over 80 years total about 150 000. over 90 about 7 000. over 100 about 3 500. Among those over 80 women outnumber men by about 12 000. over 90 by 1 200. over 100 by about 1 000.
Preserve Sacred Privacy In Marriage Advice To Couples
A long-married woman offers timeless guidance for newlyweds and couples. She urges keeping private domestic life within the couple, avoiding outside confidants, healing rifts promptly, and renewing vows daily to strengthen union and spiritual bond.
Happy wives and their quiet power in marriage
A columnist extols the value of cheerful, happy women in marriage not for beauty or wealth but for resilience. Happy wives ease troubles, lift moods, and guide daily life with hopeful spirits, making family life brighter even in hardship.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Balleah
Diary of a Woman Citizen in the 19th Century
A future feminine diary recounts a week of civic duty and personal test, noting jury service, a special constable role during riots, militia fears, a coroner's inquest, contempt in court, and reflections on women’s rights and sisterly battles in Detroit. The piece blends Punch satire and a Free Press exchange on gender roles and authority.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Susie
Bill Banning Twenty Cent Pieces Clears Congress
The measure prohibiting coinage of twenty cent pieces has passed both houses and will be approved by the President.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Congress
Dr Kings New Discovery Cures Lung Ailments
Dr Kings New Discovery praised for speedy relief of consumption, bronchitis, asthma, coughs, sore throat, and lingering throat and chest diseases. World wide reputation cited with doctors, clergy, and press endorsing it. Trial bottle free, regular bottle $1, Morck & Co. sells.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
DR. King
Morck & Co
Also Mentioned on This Page
R. B. Stewart
Warren
Hazeltine & Davis’ Drug Store
Hickory St
Union School
Izalom
Cable & Knapp
Alien’s Block
Eddy & Co
James Cable
F.M. Knapp
Brown & Ball
Beatty
First National Bank
W. D. Brown
D. I. Ball
G. H. Leonhart
Carver
Meat Market
A. Cogswell
City Meat Market
Front Street
Parmice & Henry's
Ijjulyly
J UU. Mitchell, & CO
Lycoming
German American, Fire Association
Niagara
Phoenix
Shawmut
New York City
la Crosse
Warren Savings Bank
I. Hl
P. W. Murray
Corner Water
Hickory
Morek & Co
Carver House
William Schnur
Morek’s
Front St
Storum & CO
Over Win
Messner
Smith’s
Foémly
O. F. Hofeman
Second Street
Painon Savings Bank
Wilbur
M. Miles
Dr. J. Hodges
Uffice Water Street
Messner & Trushes
Sextus Keller
Smith's
Johnson & Lindsey
Johnson’s Exchange
Warren Pa
Ss. P. Johnson
Ww. M. Lindsey
de. WM. V. Hazeltine
Liberty Street
Scofield & Hooker
Junius R. Clark
Chas. H, Noyes
Clark & Noyes
H. Noyes
Allen & Thompson
Tidioute
Warren County
Central Block
W. Allen
Co. C. Thompson
Brown & Stone
H. E. Brown
R. Brown
C. W. Stone
Variety Hall
Warren, Pa
Anforth, S
Adam
Darkey
Church Street
Johnny
Christ
Easton
Bethlehem
Lehigh Valley Road
Elmira
Pennsylvania
R. R.P. & E. Division
Philadelphia & Jévie
Erie Mail
Ernladelphia
Corry
Erie
Erie Accommodation
Walt “ Corry
Ives
Eastwa Erie Mail
Usorry
Philadelph Warren Accom
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Allegheny River Railways
M.S
P.T
Warren Accom
P. T. & B. WM. A. Baldwin
Will Smith
MKES
Homga
People’s Journal
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Episcopal Church
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Ass’t
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Warre
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Oil City
Franklin
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Stoneboro Gr
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A&gwr'y
Sacamanre
Andover
Jefferson
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Cleveland
Geo. H. McIntire
AST
Atlantic and Great Western Railroad
WHAMS
Dayton
Springfield
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Holesale and Retail
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Merck’s Drug Store
Carver Howe
Besi
Businss Stinson & Co
Local Directory
Burgess
J. H. Palmer
James Clark, Jr
A. Hertzel
A. J. Davis
P. Greenland
G.L. Friday
P.J. Falconer
M. Spaulding
R. P. King
J. P. Marston
Benjamin Nesmith
Thomas Keelor
J. F. Wells
F. Henry George Ensworth
Justices of the Peace
D. J. Hodges
D.W
Cc. James
Constable
John F. McPherson, Jr
Notasies Public
C. H. Noyes
At. E. Brown
O. F. Hoffman
Ozro Nesmith
Auditors
Geo. P. Orr
Geo. N. Parmlee
E. F. Hodges
L. F. Watson
W. M. Lindsey
Lansing D. Wetmore
W. B. Acocks
Pittsfield
W. W. Connely
Deerfield
Henry Brace
Starling W. Waters
Register & Recorder
W. J. Alexander
T. E. Parnes
M. Dunham
Enterprise
E.R. Wheelock
Sugar Grove
J. B. Jennings
Geo
Columbus
P. F. Barnes
Sheffield
G. C. James Warren
N. R Thompson
EF. F. Crane
Llam
Presbyterian
W. A. Rankin
Epriscopal
H.S. Getz
Meritopist
R. M. Warren
Evangelical
B. L. Miller
F. C. H. Lampe
J. Mellander
Father de la Roque
Father Mullen
G. L. Fripay
W. M. Wo. Borne
R. Henderson
H. P. WM. Borne
Sec’y. Conewango Lodge
Johnson’s
G. H. Ammes
C. P
R. Dennison
Sec
Struthers
Wearren, Pa
Struthers, Wells & CO
A. W. Morck & Co
Morck
A.W. Morck & CO
Corner Water and
Hickory’ Streets
Rock OF Ages
Lady Fair
F. L. Stanton
Edison
The
North American Review
Detroit
J’ree Press