22 Mar 1870
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 12 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Warren Mail
Location
Warren, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Date
Mar 22, 1870
Page
1
In a burnt mill episode, surgeon hopeful William Kirkland rescues Miss Woodbury from a perilous fall as flames engulf the building. The couple survives the plunge into the reservoir and later vows love as Colonel Woodbury’s family faces financial ruin and impending loss.
The article emphasizes teaching a young horse to drive by keeping clear, distinct paces. Do not rush to speed, ensure the horse walks before trotting, and maintain steady tempo. Keep the reins snug and the horse in hand to bear on the bit without allowing excessive pull to facilitate future high-speed driving.
A sarcastic exchange unfolds as a court questions a prisoner about larceny. The inmate insists on innocence while claiming he was merely making believe, prompting the magistrate to warn him about contempt of court.
A compilation of simple tips: dissolve glue in skim milk to restore crape, wash ribbons in cold suds, rub rough irons with fine salt for smoothness, choose small figures on durable carpets, soap on door hinges prevents creaking, scotchy snuff in critter holes stops them, wood ashes and salt wet prevent stove cracking, lye in water softens hard water, cranberry bound on a corn may kill it.
An exchange reports a Detroit girl fined $25 for shouting murder when a lover hugged her. The lover paid the fine, while the section’s devil claims girls in this area do not scream at such moments.
A witty joke compares a pill and a hill noting one is hard to get up and the other hard to get down. The pun plays on double meaning of climb vs take.
A spacious piece of furniture described as a table of distances appears in the text. It notes measurements, orientation, and potential uses in a room setting. The fragment suggests a decorative or functional mapping object within a living space.
A satirical critique questions General Sheridan for killing enemies and harming Indians, suggesting kinder options and condemning excessive violence. The piece mocks sending missionaries, peace commissioners, and gifts to pacify the Piegan and other Native peoples, recalling Rosser and Custer.
The piece argues New York failed to support universal liberty and would have ratified if needed, but now gains no credit for withholding support. It contrasts New York with New Jersey Delaware and other small states allied with slavery, leaving them isolated.
A historical note advises using half a pint of rice fried until brown then boiled as usual. Eat slowly to stop severe diarrhea, describing a simple household remedy.
A quip contrasts charity with a tailor noting charity covers sins while a tailor covers sinners. The line reflects humor about moral repair and social judgment in a pithy two part joke.
The report notes it costs Napoleon five thousand dollars to provide a state dinner. It also mentions plans to restore the Marseillaise to France's military bands.
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