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Newspaper
Warren Mail
Location
Warren, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Date
Jun 05, 1889
Page
4
The speaker awakes to a world paused in dawn light and hears faint bells. A window, once open, is suddenly blocked by a marvel that conceals the expected scene, inviting the speaker to seek a different vision beyond the barrier.
A collage of witticisms and social observations covers everyday life from politicians on the fence to advertisements and moral maxims. The piece collects playful definitions, clever analogies, and quips about health, marriage, science, art, and common manners.
A humorous tale from Scribner's describes twelve Lagos councilors at mass with a stretched bench to sit, each wearing black attire. After seating, they cross their legs and cannot tell which legs are theirs until a flea provokes action, letting them uncross and rise with relief. Additional notes recount a Kansas man hauling 800 carloads of dirt, a miser avoiding use, and Maine families receiving aid followed by portraits.
A passenger on a Kentucky bound train overhears a young couple discuss love and marriage. The man, about twenty two, and the eighteen to twenty year old girl exchange plans as they pull closer, blush, and finally kiss while other passengers, including the narrator, listen and react to the hopeful exchange.
Over 60 people were urged to evacuate their homes yesterday to seek a free trial package of Lane's Family Medicine. The ad promises a grand remedy for bad blood, liver and kidney issues, constipation, headache, and unsightly complexion with a free sample from any druggist. Ladies praise it and large size packages are offered for 50 cents.
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