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This newspaper page contains 26 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Warren Mail
Location
Warren, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Date
Feb 16, 1905
Page
7
A collage of jokes from the Brooklyn Eagle, Kansas City Journal and Philadelphia Record notes on speed limits in Holland and officials seeking office. It mocks Dutch car terms and the hunger for public jobs, ending with a wry take on reluctant workers.
Dover Kentucky February 13 special report Mrs W H Ambrose credits Dodd's Kidney Pills with ending her backache and kidney symptoms after one box she recalls. The piece notes backache as a signal of kidney trouble and warns untreated cases may lead to diabetes Bright's disease or rheumatism.
An 19th century advertisement touts Allen's Foot-Ease as a remedy for hot sweating calloused and swollen feet sold by all druggists for 25 cents with trial bottle free. The notice also includes the maker Allen S Olmsted Roy NY and a Chicago Chronicle quip about gender age limits.
An old advertisement promises a quick cure for colds with Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. It notes refunds if ineffective and features E. W. Grove’s signature on each box, priced at 5 cents.
A London dinner chatter turns to U S lynchings with a guest recounting a brutal anecdote about a waiter mocked by the crowd and hanged by rope while another joke about killing a chef surfaces. The piece closes with aphorisms from Puck and the Chicago Tribune.
A Hot Springs visitor reports long term stomach and bowel trouble improved after using Grape-Nuts with cream. He notes better sleep, relief from constipation, five weeks gain of eight pounds, and sharpened memory after following the product’s simple directions from The Road to Wellville. The testimonial is attributed to Postum Co. of Battle Creek, Michigan.
An 19th century Peterson's Magazine piece recounts Washington refusing the crown in 1782 and the enduring reverence for his public virtue. It also narrates a Geneva event in 1891 where the American colony honored Independence Day with an oration, plus an Austrian anecdote of Washington visiting Vienna in 1810 that ends with him comforting a sick host with tea.
A French writer extols George Washington’s restrained virtue and leadership. It recalls Washington’s farewell at Fraunces Tavern and portrays him as a kindly host with a warm, confident smile. The piece contrasts his public dignity with intimate, benevolent traits admired by soldiers, magistrates, and the people.
A scientist notes radium mainly comes from American ores. From 1801 to 1892 over 230 periodic comets were observed with precision. A scientist links children’s height and weight to house size. M Bouchard reports mice exposed to radium died in six hours. An old magnetism idea tied to iron atoms is discussed.
A plan by Sheldon Jackson to import reindeer from Siberia has grown into a flourishing Alaska reindeer industry. The animals provide food clothing and transport, may replace dogs for mail, and could support an external meat market. Reindeer milk yields cheese and animals are prolific.
A Chicago Journal quote recalls a debate between scientists on public risk perception of microbes. One asks if alarming the public is avoided. the other replies that warning about microbes' ubiquity reduced terror after money was labeled as microbial.
In a terse dialogue, Cute and Crank trade quips about finding things last, noting human nature and playful sarcasm. Sloper adds a jab, highlighting humor in everyday searches and the habit of stopping once a goal is met.
The text notes that while the metal is not magnetic when heated, magnetism may arise from special groupings of atoms within the molecule. It suggests a shift from simple phase behavior to structural factors governing magnetic behavior.
A light hearted column notes that a soft heart and head define a soft snap and that sarcasm, like pepper, helps but can burn. It says a man who claims to manage his wife is a bluff or a bully and that couples who marry for love stop talking about it once married.
A Cleveland Leader excerpt quotes a box party remark praising an orchestra. The host notes the ensemble’s quality and Mr. Newrich jokes about a slide guitarist motion, saying he enjoys watching the player “swallowin’ it.”
Jinks jokes about listening to a minister who sticks to his text while Blinks notes the preacher’s length saying a sermon lasts about two hours and a half in this Cincinnati Enquirer exchange.
The desk sergeant declares the man brought in cannot be the principal in the crime, calling him a mere tool. The detective agrees noting the fellow is hatchet-faced saw-toothed gimlet-eyed and hammer-headed as a judge might.
An exchange in Chicago News features a provocative taunt about politicians being fat men. The quick-witted respondent concedes the remark and muses on why sincerity among leaders is scarce.
A humorous exchange in Town Topics jokes about marriage costs. Old Rocksey jokes he must support both spouses if he lets his daughter marry. Jack Hardappe quips that two can live as cheaply as one, a witty domestic quip reflecting practical views on marriage finance.
Dialogue between a father and son contrasts fleas with motherhood. The boy asks why mamma catches fleas to put them in his ear, prompting a light exchange about the difficulty of catching fleas and a humorous domestic moment reflected in Yonkers Statesman.
A New York physician told about 500 attendees that healthy American women are nearly extinct, urging Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound as the cure for menstrual and female ailments. Endorsements from Mrs. T. C. Willadsen and Miss Mattie Henry accompany claims of restored health and gratitude.
A short humorous exchange recalls a dog smarter than its master as Snaggs says many dogs have more sense than their masters. Craggs agrees noting his own dog imitates this trait while the laughter continues.
Mr Marryat boasts of a good disposition during a quarrel while his wife mocks him saying he is not good but simply too lazy to kick. The exchange is reported by the Philadelphia Press.
A refined exchange from the Tatler shows an elderly man offering his seat to a lady who just entered an otherwise empty tram car, the moment captured in witty dialogue.
A playful piece notes Betty’s ever changing fashion looks and the lingering wish that her eye style remain constant as she shifts between disguises and moods.
Regional commodity snapshots show flour, wheat, corn and oats values across New York Cleveland Toledo East Buffalo and Pittsburg. Cattle and hog markets reveal varied ranges with steers lambs and pig prices noted.
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