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Newspaper
Warren Ledger
Location
Warren, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Date
May 04, 1888
Page
6
A collage of quips and puns from various papers, with jokes about law, education, fashion, and social manners. The snippets include wry lines about lawn care, oil, trusts, and electric kisses, plus humorous exchanges at dinners and in galleries, ending with a distressed fashion anecdote.
A compact section presents aphorisms on honesty virtue and wisdom. It contrasts orthodox truth with deception and notes self interest in publishing while stressing that right means must justify ends and that virtue defines a gentleman.
Hunter Carl Lohse recounts how Homraba horsemen and footmen chase and hamstring elephants in Africa. They disable males, capture young elephants with a slip noose, hamstringed to ground, then subdue and enclose them for weeks. Ivory sales support hunting profits to Abyssinians and India. hides made into shields.
A New York Meil and Express reporter learns cork preparation for bottle stoppers. Barns stay damp to soak cork planks, strips are cut, boiled to swell, stored moist, then shaped on a knife into rounds. France uses rotary motion, others vary. Handwork yields the best 1000 corks daily.
A New York letter lampoons a chaptered book on malaria and illness, alleging doctors misdiagnose and rely on travel and tonics. It cites a Wall Street banker and Warner’s Safe Cure as remedies, suggesting physicians resist safer alternatives while patients suffer and spend fees.
A Lewiston journal reprints two Armenian bride price tales from interior Asia Minor showing strict cash in advance for marriages. In the first, a priest lends 300 piasters with oil as interest, but the debtor offers his daughter when money stays short. the father demands 50 more piasters and the wedding proceeds after payment. In the second, a groom borrows 259 piasters by giving an ox as security since Lent blocks borrowing. after his wedding the father refuses entry until payment, forcing the groom to fetch 230 piasters elsewhere to reclaim his wife.
A provincial couple requests champagne during a wedding trip. The proprietor brings a new pail for serving. The countryman reacts with consternation and declares a half-pail insufficient, shouting Great Scott.
A column of humorous verses and quips plus medical and patent medicine notices. It mentions a bashful Aberdonian proposing through playful dialogue, references Colonel Wilkier replying to Ella Wheeler Wilcox, and satirical snippets about education, coal dust on hats, and New York humor. It also promotes Scott's Emulsion, Dr Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery, Dr Sage's Catarrh Remedy, Scott's Emulsion praise, and Dr Greene's Nervine with testimonials.
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