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This newspaper page contains 26 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Van Buren News Eagle
Location
Van Buren, Indiana, United States of America
Date
May 27, 1915
Page
2
A collection of satirical quips and quotes from editor H. DePoy and others on war, economics, and society. Jests touch on dyes, dyestuffs, mules, oil wells, cinema spending, and fashion while riffing on wartime shortages and public mood.
A saying notes a clash between advice from legal counsel and medical counsel. The quip suggests discomfort when a lawyer urges avoidance of court action while a doctor toasts with a healthful drink.
A quip notes a fish lays about 7,000,000 eggs per season and suggests using a fish to set the pace for hens. The line plays on absurd efficiency and rural humor typical of the period.
A medical authority says walking can add ten years to a man's life provided he dodges jitney bus traffic. Auburn haired girls would have calmer reputations if not for rising young scrappers called Red.
An orator notes that when converts backslide, requests for refunds of money paid at the box office never trouble him. The remark implies complete confidence in the speaker's influence and the loyalty of followers despite setback.
A French heiress proposes marriage to the first unmarried French soldier to enter Berlin as war risks intensify. The unusual alliance aims to secure safety amid mounting conflict as European tensions rise.
A Philadelphia archeologist notes Nero had three elevators, a fact comforting to guests as the old fellow was about to fiddle up. A grumpy reader complains there is no men’s page while four pages are devoted to sports. Some readers tinker with engines at a railroad crossing, others achieve similar results by tipping a cance.
An old drunk, after years of continuous intoxication, develops the notion that sober men behave irrationally. The remark reflects a biased view born from chronic drunkenness and distance from sobriety.
A call to wipe out breeding grounds where flies hatch to reduce torment from pests. Emphasizes targeting filthy areas to prevent large swarms and suffering caused by infestation.
Italy declares war on Austria Hungary and orders general mobilization as tensions surge along the Alpine frontier. Italian alpine troops clash with Austrian patrols near Forcellini di Montozzo while diplomatic moves shift with ambassadors leaving Rome and Constantinople.
The Friends church closes its minister conference with talks on Winning the World for Christ and evangelism. Frederick FE Carter of Fairmount is elected president. vice president Mary Denebble. secretary-treasurer Alice Lawrence. program chair William J. Sayer. Elbert Russell sparked discussion on church ties after college.
Laporte annual meeting of the Episcopal diocese adjourned after officers elected including Treasurer George T. Vail Registrar Rev W S Trowbridge. Officers named for constitution and canons Bishop White Chancellor Stuart McKibben Doctor McKenzie Rev B W Averill Dean Strowbridge and several committees with Rev E W Aver and others as delegates to the provincial synod.
Hundreds of Indiana residents report quick relief from stomach and digestive troubles after using Mayr's Wonderful Remedy. Testimonies from Charles Inman of Hartford City and Walter Spray of Frankfort claim the treatment ended pain and allowed a return to work. The ad promises permanent benefits for stomach liver and intestinal issues with a money back guarantee if unsatisfied.
A bonfire lights at the Simonsville gypsy camp to burn the possessions of Tryphena McNeill queen of her tribe who died in a hospital. Fuel includes a $246 fur coat and other belongings valued in the thousands. Mrs McNeill was wife of King Samuel and a famed seeress with many clients.
This vintage advertisement promotes Cuticura products for scalp dandruff and itching, praising Cuticura Soap and Ointment as pure fragrant emollients. It invites readers to sample free by mail using the Skin Book and provides Boston department address while noting availability everywhere.
Neutral Europe lists Denmark Norway Sweden Portugal Switzerland and others. The chart shows Teutonic Nations and Allies including Germany Turkey Austro Hungary. The Allies cover Great Britain Belgium France Servia Russia Montenegro Japan Italy Greece Bulgaria Roumania. Italy expected to aid the Allies.
Vice-President and Mrs Marshall have returned to Indianapolis after nearly two months away and will likely stay at home until August 1. They attended the San Francisco exposition as President Wilson’s personal representatives, visited Secott state Ariz with Mrs Kinsey, and after leaving Arizona he lectured through the Southern states. He traveled from Tallahassee Florida to expedite attendance at the Installation Rite banquet.
A visitor to a clay manufactory observes hand molding and asks for tools. The worker replies no tool can match the human touch. The note extends to spiritual work, saying God’s work needs the human touch, as Jesus touched people for healing and salvation.
In Fort Wayne the body of Cortland Pall, 79, was identified by Ferris, related to his wife. The other man, a former street inspector from Inceaelis, was found near the Maumee River in the same area, living with Dr. and Mrs. Ferris, with exposure evident.
An advertisement proclaims Denison's Coffees as pure, sound, and reliable, hand picked and consistently packed with the brand on every package. It contrasts them with imitations and urges readers to contact Denison Coffee Co. in Chicago for local sources.
Lawrence Curg reports the birth of twin girls at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Frank L. Winters on Shipping Street opposite the historic Shipping Street pump. This birth marks the twenty sixth birth in the house since 1965, with five sets of twins and three sets of triplets plus ten other babies born in the old structure.
Mrs Styles remarks the article notes eagles and parrots are among the longest lived birds. Mr Styles adds that he has never seen them on worn hats, implying skepticism of the claim.
Nine year old Nashville area boy, son of farmer Staines Howder, was kicked to death when his horse kicked and bit during a race to water with his sister. He was thrown backward and struck in the head.
A refined courtship moment unfolds as he asks to kiss her hand and she gently questions the propriety. He concedes with charming deference, agreeing with her judgment in a lighthearted, mutual stroke of etiquette.
Two girls aged nineteen and twenty one were arrested by a railroad detective in Vincennes after being found in a box car dressed in men's clothing. They claimed to be seeking the world. Two men alleged to have been with them were arrested in Washington and are said to live at West Baden. The girls gave names Anna Robinson and Amanda Reed. Authorities seek their relatives.
A brief grocery ad touts Red Cross Ball Blue as the stone for wash day comfort and lasting pleasure. It promotes the product as available from all good grocers with the line Adv.
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