Witty miscellany from the Van Buren news page
A column of quirky observations and jokes on fashion weather travel and daily life. Bits include comments on slit skirts air travel elopement balloon travel and humorous takes on insurance and perpetual motion with a light editorial tone.
Awful Sights as Man Struggles With Badly Fitting Teeth
A vivid observation notes the difficulty of a man with ill fitting dentures trying to eat green corn. The scene highlights the discomfort and awkwardness of the moment.
Shocking pessimist warns of June bride risks
A reviewer calls him a shocking pessimist remarking that many a June bride has knocked her knuckles on the washboard by this time, reflecting a blunt view on domestic toil.
Season styles spark talk of more go in womens dresses
In a social talk, Ethelinda notes men object to current women’s dress styles for lacking vitality and vigor, insisting the season’s fashions should be more spirited.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Ethelinda
Five Grandmothers Help Birth Reported in Pennsylvania
A Pennsylvania baby was born under the auspices of five grandmothers and is reported to be doing as well as could be expected.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Pennsylvania
Record Corn Crop Volume Sparks Humorous Byproduct Remark
Last year's corn harvest reached 2 871 000 000 bushels prompting a humorous aside about the by products of corncobs and husks such as pipes and mattresses.
Bull pup loses grip as auto tire spins away
A bull pup failed to hold onto a whirling auto tire and was hurled into the branches of a maple tree about 30 feet high.
Dickens would note tobacco chewing as a faded national pastime
If Charles Dickens should visit this country again he would no doubt be glad to discover that chewing tobacco had ceased to be a national pastime.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Charles Dickens
Louis girl sleeps after hard tennis match shine
A Louis girl reportedly slept uninterruptedly for six days following a strenuous tennis contest. The incident suggests there may be beneficial aspects to the game after all.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Art. Louis
Aix
Split skirt fines spark sensational fashion rage
A passage notes rising fines on women for wearing split skirts, predicting the fad could spread as a $25 fine is seen as a cheap price for a provocative sensation.
Danger of exiting cars with rear-facing hobble skirts noted
A historical note warns that stepping out of a car while facing the rear increased danger due to the hobble skirt.
Public Bathing Sparks Surprise Reactions
The average man eagerly visits bathing beaches despite warnings that shocks await him. He goes in droves, seeking experiences that may startle or surprise, reflecting a broader curiosity about risk and novelty.
Boston Judge Rules Barking Natural as Wagging Tail
A Boston judge likened dog barking to tail wagging and said an injunction against barking is as effective as Canute stopping the tide. Roosters nationwide celebrate the decision on natural rights despite its humorous impracticality.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Boston
Canute
Mulhall reiterates charges against representative McDermott
Washington Aug 26 Mulhall former lobbyist for the National Association of Manufacturers again testified that McDermott of Illinois tipped him off about labor reform efforts. He recalled 1910 word to watch for an eight hour amendment to the sundry civil bill. The senate lobby committee questioned NAM officers as later witnesses discussed funding and who spoke for pawnbrokers and lenders.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Washington
McDermott
Ilinois
National Association of Manufacturers
Mulhall
Association
House
I. N. McMichael
Henry KE. Davis
Davis
Congress
Taft
Senate
Martin M. Mulhall
H. FE. Mills
D. M. Parry
John Kirby, Jr
H. BH. Mills
Racine
Wis
Tariff Commission
James WH. Watson
Indiana
Herbert EH. Miles
Tariff Commission Association
James B. Watson
Tariff Board
Camp of Mexican railroad laborers under guard after night clash
Sheriff Motter with twenty deputies guard a camp of Mexican railroad laborers near Henry Jil following a night battle that left one man dead. In Newport H 1 an invitation to world navies to Hampton Roads through 1915 and through the Panama Canal will be issued by Wilson. In Minneapolis Miss Hather Sternberg, seventeen, vanished while in a somnambulist state after leaving her bed.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Henry
Jil
Motter
Newport
H. 1
Hampton Roads
Panama Canal
Navy
Wilson
Minneapolis
Minn
Hather Sternberg
Moros Attack Governor in Jolo Narrow Escape
Vernon L. Whitney of Iowa governor of Jolo was attacked by Moros and wounded with five barog wounds but will recover. He killed both assailants in Manila on August 23.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Manila
Vernon L. Whitney
Iowa
Jolo
Wilson appoints new government exposition board
President Wilson designated A. C. Miller, Dr. W. F. Stratton and F. Lamson-Scriber as members of the government exposition board for the San Francisco exposition announced from Washington on August 23.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Wilson
Washington
A. C. Miller
W. F. Stratton
F. Lamson-Scribner
San Francisco
Huerta May Yield As Mexican Army Presses
Reports from Washington say Huerta's administration faces a mutinous army unpaid for weeks and may reconsider rejection of American peace proposals. Officials expect possible resignation or withdrawal from the presidential race while European pressure grows toward a settlement.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
City of
Mexico
Pascual Orozco
Huatla
Zapatista
Emiliano Zapata
Washington
Huerta
United States
Lind
Mexico City
Washington Offiala
Thaw Case Pitfalls Highlighted in Canadian Border Row
Sherbrooke Quebec August 25 Roger Thompson the New York chauffeur jailed on immigration charges admits his real name and says he may reveal Thaw related details if not aided. Thaw’s legal team seeks habeas corpus next week while Ottawa directs immigration officers to treat Thaw like any entrant, possibly rerouting him back to Vermont if rejected.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Sherbrooke
Que
Roger Thompson
New York
Harry K. Thaw
Canadian
Thaw
Matteawan
Thompson
Mitchell Thompson
Stanford White
Roger
Ottawa
New York State
Vermont
Canada
Bryan Saves Bill Currency Measure Backed by Bryan
Washington Aug 25 Representatives favoring the administration currency bill won a Democratic caucus victory with Secretary Bryan endorsing the measure and opposing insurgent amendments that would ban interlocking directorates in banks. The House adopted Underwood’s referral to a judiciary subcommittee to draft a broader bill for next session, while minor edits were expected to clarify credit for agricultural paper.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Washington
Bryan
Carter Glass
Currency Committee
Wilson
Ele
Baltimore
Glass
Underwood
House
Judiciary Committee
Congress
Neeley
Kanaags
iJass
Hrgan
Samuel Untermyer
Pujo Money Triat
Mryan
Bankers Seek Compromise On Owen Glass Currency Bill
Bankers from across the United States meet at the Hotel La Salle in Chicago to shape the Owen Glass currency bill then before Congress. More than 260 delegates from state banks, clearing houses, and the American Bankers Association currency commission attend as efforts to compromise with Washington administration show partial success.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Chicago
United States
Hotel la Salle
Owen Glass
Congress
Currency Commission
American Bankers’ Association
Commission
Washington
Diggs Guilty of Mann Act Violation in Elopement Case
Maury J. Diggs former state architect of California was found guilty of transporting a woman across state lines for immoral purposes in an elopement from Sacramento to Reno. The verdict came from a San Francisco jury on Wednesday.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Diggs
San Francisco
Marsha Warrington
Sacramento
Cal
Reno
Nev
Maury J. Diggs
California
New P. M. of Memphis Drops Dead
J C French the recently appointed Memphis postmaster died of heart disease. He assumed the post on June 21 and earlier served as a major in the Confederate army.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New P. M
Memphis
Tenn
J. C. French
Navy Gun Bursts Killing Officers in Test at Pola
An eight inch naval gun burst during a test at Pola Austria killed three officers and fatally wounded six others while injuring a score more. Among the wounded is Admiral Count von Wellenburg.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Pola
Austria
Count von Wellenburg
Tent Collapse at Chicago Circus Kills One and Injures Many
A severe electrical storm and gale in Chicago toppled the Gentry Bros tent on Thursday night burying about 300 spectators. One man died and many were injured as wind lifted the canvas and a center pole toppled, triggering panic and rescue efforts.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Chicago
Gentry
Dynamite Found Under Mayor Gaynor's Office Window
Six sticks of explosive suspected to be dynamite were found under a window of Mayor Gaynor's suite in New York on Thursday by a janitor. Authorities inspected the scene and secured the area.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Gaynor
New Yorks
Mayor Gaynor
Entombed Mans Rescued in Colorado Cavern
Workers rescued A. F. Smith alive and recovered the bodies of James Dobson of Downs Kansas and an unidentified man from a cavern at the old Raton tunnel near Trinidad Colorado on August 23.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Trinidad
Colo
A. F. Smith
James Dobson
Downs
Kan
Old
Raton Tunnel
McReynolds Chooses Secretary for Attorney General
Washington announced that Attorney General McReynolds selected John T. Suter, a veteran correspondent for Chinese newspapers, as his confidential secretary and assistant.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
McReynolds
Washington
John T. Suter
Chienzo
Couple dies in double suicide pact in Indianapolis
Roy Gross twenty two and Hazel Stewart twenty two were found dead in Indianapolis from a suicide pact using carbolic acid. The married woman and her companion died after the act, with authorities noting a shared intent.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Indianapolis
Roy Gross
Hazel Stewart
Gunboat Sunk During Swedish Fleet Maneuver
Malmo Sweden August 26 An armored ship collided with and sank a gun boat during fleet maneuvers off the town No details of the disaster have yet been received.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Malmo
Sweden
Old Adam Strong In Him
A mother frets that her four year old son has learned rude slang from older neighborhood boys. He returns with a string of modern phrases ending in a joke about his innocent source, and the mother realizes her child is simply a boy.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Adam
Face Breaks Out In Pimples in Falls City Neb
A 1914 testimonial from Judd Knowles details a skin problem starting at age sixteen with red sore pimples and nightly itching. He credits Cuticura Soap and Ointment for improvement in two days and a complete cure in three weeks after using the products.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Falls City
Neb
Judd Knowles
Cuticura
Dept. L
Boston
Identified Himself After Car Hits Roadside Obstruction
An auto collision leaves a rear passenger with a heavy build tumbling onto the roadside after striking a stump. The woman reports no bones broken though a lump appears as a constable vows to arrest the riders, with the judge overhead.
Bladderwort Plant Traps Worms and Fish Underwater
The bladderwort is an aquatic plant that defends itself and captures prey. Its floating leaves spread underwater with air-filled bladders and traps mouth openings that snap shut when pressure is applied. Small worms or fish enter but cannot escape.
Teaching Safety In Schools In New Jersey 1913 Law
A 1913 New Jersey bill requires public school teachers to dedicate 30 minutes each month to instruction on accident prevention. The measure, passed by the legislature, aims to improve safety education in schools.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New Jersey
Also Mentioned on This Page
the News-Eagle
E. H. DePoy
Mgr
van Buren
Alps
Sulzer
Underwood & Underwood
N. Y
New York Assembly
Levy
Patrick McMahon
Bronx
Aaron J. Levy
Abraham Greenberg
Wm. J. Gillon
Kings
T. P. Madden
Westchester
Theo. HL. Ward
T. K. Smith
Onondaga
J. V. Fitzpatrick
Erie
Watson
H. E. Mills
Muthall
Representative McDermott
Illinois
Zapata
Bill
Kansas
Circus Canvon
Post
Postum Cereal Company, Limited
Battie Creek, Michigan