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Newspaper
Van Buren News Eagle
Location
Van Buren, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Aug 02, 1912
Page
6
A collage of humorous asides and satirical quips from the News-Eagle page. Observations range from philosophers riding in dentists chairs to jokes about tilts toward hygienic kilts, the value of a shah’s kitchen utensils, and the happiness threshold of five thousand dollars annually.
A Cleveland inventor creates a steel car strap claimed to resist germs. The piece prompts quips on practicality and questions about whether more seats would have been useful, while lampooning the anti kissing crusade and noting the role of age and looks in public reaction.
In Cincinnati a respected woman teacher leads a vacation school and umpire duties for local baseball games, maintaining fair play and keeping bleacher ire from rising.
The text notes that only female mosquitoes bite humans and suggests a dramatic imbalance in male to female numbers, claiming females outnumber males by a million to one at times, highlighting a dated belief about mosquito behavior.
A Newport girl gains attention by wearing a mobile veil that floats about five feet in the breeze. The feat draws curious onlookers and local interest as she demonstrates an unusual fashion stunt during a public event.
An investigator blames hobble skirts worn in ancient times for the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, citing their appearance as a contributing factor in the biblical narrative.
A distant tale recalls a man who savored a holiday long ago before the summer hotel era altered life. The fragment hints at nostalgia and a change brought by new leisure architecture.
New York waiters who organized a strike weeks ago have applied to their former employers for work. They report a tipless, cheerless world and seek reinstatement in their old positions.
A quip about future farming envisions a blackberry with less than 75 percent seeds, illustrating a speculative leap in agricultural science and food texture.
A woman novelist quips that clever women can avoid matrimony while a man who stays out of wedlock must be a genius. The remark reflects period social satire and gendered expectations in marriage.
China asserts any borrowed money must be spent at its discretion. It says lenders may refrain if they disapprove, framing the condition as reasonable. The remark highlights tensions over sovereign control and external finance.
A court ruled that a woman who stepped off a street car backward cannot claim damages. The decision was issued by a judge whose wife must be slim and obedient as part of an insinuation in the report.
An exchange asserts France trains eagles to attack aeroplanes. The speaker jokes the man who started the tale has the credentials of a skilled fisherman, implying the rumor’s dubious nature.
The discussion shifts from removing the hobble to introducing plaits as a new method. Advocates argue women will be compelled to use more cloth, signaling ongoing efforts to regulate attire through dress alterations.
An effort to raise a large fund for the New York teacher who achieved the salary equalization in city schools failed badly. Post facto gratitude is described as a rare commodity in modern science.
In Gordon county near Plainville and Calhoun seven people were killed and 15 wounded after a two day race clash between whites and blacks. About 1,000 whites fought a barricaded group of blacks in a building for nearly five hours. Fordyce Arkansas also saw five wounded and others beaten as Arkansas National Guard companies moved toward Alexandria. The rioting started at a negro pool hall, which was wrecked and its owner beaten. Governor Donaghey ordered four militia companies to remain for investigation.
New York July 29. A writ of mandamus will seek to compel Mayor Gaynor to call a special aldermen meeting to vote on investigating the police department and the Rosenthal murder. A new witness offered services to Deputy Commissioner Dougherty, sighting Rosenthal near the Metropole doorway. The witness recalls the assassins approaching quickly and pistols fired within a foot of Rosenthal and can identify them.
All nine aldermen arrested on charges of taking bribery for votes in a street closing case will seek re election. Burns detectives say Edward Schreiter led the bribery scheme and opened the locked safe after force. Schreiter and the nine aldermen were released on $5,000 bail each and face arraignment tomorrow.
Copenhagen reports Captain Ejnar Mikkelsen and engineer Iversen have reached Aalesund after an expedition started in 1910 to cross Greenland. They remained part of the 1909 plan to locate Mylius Erichsen’s depot and, after finishing that objective, continued across Greenland. The 1911 Danish relief voyage had returned without word of them, leaving hope for safety nearly gone.
Washington July 27 After a day of debate the senate defeated the Cummins substitute wool bill by 57 to 14, adopted the Penrose compromise by 54 to 32, and passed the 1911 La Follette wool measure. Progressives largely supported the defeat of Cummins substitute and the passage of La Follette. The Republican substitute by Lippitt was offered after the Cummins amendment was voted down.
A severe storm swept Fayette County Pennsylvania causing at least nineteen deaths including a boy drowned in Dunbar. Damage near 2 million dollars wrecked Dunbar with eleven businesses and seventy five homes destroyed. Rail lines bridges and quarries damaged leaving isolation and shortages.
The Senate approved the excise bill by 37 to 25 after removing reciprocity and adding a two dollar per ton duty on Canadian print paper. The measure also enacts a one percent tax on net incomes over five thousand dollars and creates a permanent nonpartisan tariff commission. The bill moves to conference.
In Washington on Tuesday John Mitchell vice president of the American Federation of Labor was sentenced to nine months in prison for contempt of court in the Bucks Store and Range company case. An appeal was filed and $4,000 bail posted. President Samuel Gompers and Secretary Frank Morrison were previously sentenced to one year and six months respectively.
Edgar Page known as the Jersey fishing poet and author of Beulah Land lies dying at his Cape May New Jersey residence at seventy seven. He holds a copy of Pilgrim's Progress given by his mother in childhood as his end approaches per his physician.
The London docks strike, which began in May and left about 50,000 dock workers and families in semi starvation for ten weeks, was declared ended by the strike committee. Work resumed today.
Iowa Democrats at Cedar Rapids approve a platform endorsing initiative and referendum, direct primary nomination of all officers, direct presidential primaries, and direct election of national and state committeemen. They also call for government ownership of telegraph and telephone lines, railroad valuation, employers liability, and woman suffrage. Maurice O Connor of Fort Dodge and John E Craig of Lee County named for the Supreme Court on subsequent ballots.
The post office appropriation bill of 232 million dollars is reported to the senate. It features a parcels post on the zone system. The Shackleford good roads provision is struck out and a substitute creates a joint committee to study the good roads issue for Congress.
Chicago July 27 Albert J Beveridge former Indiana senator leaves the Republican party and will be temporary chairman of the national Progressive party convention in Chicago August 5.
In New York on July 25 Joseph J. Conroy a machinist fired at Joseph Fettretch senior partner of Fettretch and Sevbel during a dispute over a $10,000 property suit claiming the victim robbed him.
Chicago jurors blame the Chicago Burlington and Quincy railroad, its employees, and the public demand for fast travel for a wreck near Western Springs that killed 13. The coroner’s jury did not seek criminal charges against any individual.
Washington July 26 The Alaskan civil government bill creating a one house legislature with power to enact local laws passed the senate with little opposition. The house has passed the bill but a conference is needed to settle differences.
Springfield Mo July 26 Many passengers were injured when an east bound Kansas City St Louis passenger train on the St Louis San Francisco railroad left the rails near Lebanon Mo Wednesday.
Injured in a Chesapeake and Ohio railroad wreck at Dayton Kentucky on Tuesday, Fireman Harry Schaeffer was fatally scalded, Engineer Gregory sustained internal injuries, and a woman lost her ear.
Berlin reports the steamer Planette measuring Pacific depths reached 32600 feet about forty miles off the northern Mindanao coast. The finding confirms depths exceeding five miles in that area.
An earthquake struck Piura, capital of Piura department in northern Peru, on Thursday. The shock lasted about 40 seconds and left the city almost in ruins.
The Anchor line passenger steamer Octorara carrying 800 tourists at Hancock Michigan July 27 saw the crew including the chief engineer strike due to alleged insufficient food aboard. The vessel fled the port with passengers still on board.
Washington July 29 The beef trust once fought by the government is deemed dissolved by the Department of Justice Attorney General Wickersham accepted the packers plan for voluntary dissolution of National Packing a Morris Swift and Armour holding company He said no civil dissolution suit will be filed and that active competition must be revived The court injunctive order from 1908 remains noted at the conference with D A James Wilkerson and counsel Ralph Crews
Justice Keogh ruled that Harry K. Thaw remains insane and a public safety risk. The decision dismisses the habeas corpus writ and orders his return to the Matteawan asylum for the insane.
Arthur Chapple of New York set a new world one mile record at the stadium motordrome in Brighton Beach clocking 39 15 seconds. In Kansas City, Miss Ethel Gamble was discharged after killing her father when he forced entry to attack his wife and daughter.
Detroit officials including 18 aldermen and a council secretary face accusations of taking bribes to vote to close a street for the Wabash railroad. Alderman Thomas Ginnan allegedly took $1,000 while Eddie Schreiter, secretary, got $500.
Des Moines delegates at the state Progressive convention voiced support for Theodore Roosevelt for president. About eight hundred delegates participated and selected representatives to the national convention in Chicago on August 5. The meeting denounced President Taft, accusing him of betraying the people to please party bosses.
London officials accepted 120 volumes of official Civil War records for the Guild Hall library last Friday. The donation comes from Reid and enhances historical resources at the city institution.
Kid McCoy the American boxer was arrested in London on a provisional extradition warrant and brought to Bow Street Court on a larceny accusation linked to Ostend.
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