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This newspaper page contains 14 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Townsend Messenger
Location
Townsend, Montana, United States of America
Date
Nov 21, 1895
Page
2
A stitched-together column of wry notes on politics, transportation, and society. Satirical vignettes touch on bicycle era modesty, British MPs riding, mosquitoes varieties, Newport dukes, and jokes about Chicago railroads, New Orleans sewers, and Ellis Island travel. Notable lines lampoon Whitney, Matt Quay, and steerage voyages as era-colored commentary.
A practical joker forged the name of Forecaster Dunn of the weather bureau at Norristown Pa to a prediction promising a long period of dry hot weather. The fake forecast has proven the most reliable from the office and the forecaster fears losing his job if the forger is found.
Describe urban waste and market imbalances across cities with San Francisco dumping canta loupes into the bay, Atlanta flooded with grapes and melons, Florida fruit rotting due to lack of buyers, and New York residents unable to afford fruit. Notes on progress from steam motor advances.
After a hard fought dispute in Terre Haute the city grocers agree to keep Christian hours. The plan aims to curb dead stock and ease public dealings though the move may provoke further resistance as grocers push for Christian scales.
The Ohio Experiment Station tested nine Poland China hogs over ten weeks, feeding groups with corn, wheat, or a half-and-half mix. Results show best weight gains when fed a wheat and corn mix, with wheat yielding 13.7 pounds pork per bushel and corn 12.3. Hog value about $5.15 per hundredweight.
Beal notes that clover leaves shift positions at night due to pulvinus turgescence, with "sleep" mirroring crowding to conserve warmth and reduce evaporation. All leaves exhibit circumnutation, whether sleeping or not, and legumes show the most sleeping plants among plant families.
A Lockerbie butcher removed a bullock's stomach and discovered a long steel pin with an acorn head, likely swallowed with fodder. The fat bullock showed no discomfort, and the pin’s origin remains conjectural, as reported by the London Meat Trades Journal.
The twelve months ending June 30 show an 8 percent drop in total exports of provisions including live cattle and hogs. Pork exports dropped from 5,118,624 in 1894 to 4,130,746 in 1895 while bacon totals fell slightly, hams rose from 9,789,406 to 10,868,218, and live hogs exported increased from 1,104 to 2,542, though this method of settling hog trade abroad remains uncommon.
The short hay crop prompts saving corn fodder for silo and dry storage. Dry forage plus silage improves feed for all stock. Often fodder is wasted, but saving it now can offset the hay shortage and prepare for current conditions.
A Virginia Circuit Court jury awarded punitive damages to the American Book Company after The Pilot newspaper accused state officials of bribery in school book contracts. The trial found the claims false and a deliberate libel, praising the company’s honorable conduct and uniform pricing across states.
Report from Seven Pines Virginia on religious reform and temperance initiatives including prohibition town lots requiring forfeiture of title if liquor is sold and special rates for abstainers. Also mentions Bible Society activity Venezuela gospel temperance meetings in New England and India Sunday School expansion and missionary support.
The piece argues that Jabez Balfour nearly secured the under secretary of state for the home department after the 1892 general election. It recounts his Liberal support, prior victories, and backing by peers, plus Gladstone's misgivings and a later financial collapse. It warns that his return could expose others connected to his schemes and undermine the ministry.
A collection of old anecdotes including a witty exchange with Lord Chancellor Camden over geese theft and the punishment for stealing common land. Also a brief matrimonial skating moment where a husband jokes about air holes and sinking, reflecting light social humor.
Lighthearted anecdotes recount mishaps during marriage ceremonies. An elderly groom hesitates to recite responses while the bride urges him on, and a bride protests over scripted questions. Other tales involve a reluctant bride or a wary clergyman amid comic exchanges.
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