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This newspaper page contains 18 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Tooele Times
Location
Tooele, Utah, United States of America
Date
Oct 01, 1910
Page
7
The excerpt gathers humorous misprints and playful chatter from old newspapers. It notes women at a luncheon discussing ailments and surgeries with odd phrasing, a guest’s remark misnaming a recital, and a Kansas governor race quip comparing momentum to a snowball, faulted by a skeptical editor.
George Ade discusses his two year silence and a new heroine who is a brunette in the first act and blonde in the last. A New York editor recalls Mark Twain reacting to a gloomy man at a banquet. The gloomy man laments death as a soul passes into the great beyond. A joke ends with a suggestion to try cloves.
A McAlester reader from 27 W Cherokee St credits Doan’s Kidney Pills with ending a sudden kidney trouble that caused severe back pain and loss of control. The testimonial states kidneys recovered and health improved, with the firm Foster Milburn Co of Buffalo listed as maker and 50 cent boxes available nationwide.
Old Podking enjoys a calm moment with his wife who interrupts by mentioning a petrified jaw discovered in Cornwall. Podkins suddenly recalls a family secret, exclaiming that their ancestors hailed from that region. The room humorously pivots on gossip and recognition.
The Tuberclecide Co claims a complete cure for tuberculosis using a preparation that allegedly destroys tubercle bacilli. They assert rapid results within two to six weeks in some cases and complete destruction within eight months, urging readers to request full details from 702 International Bank Building, Los Angeles, California.
A friend seeks comfort after a harsh rebuke from his lover described as cutting and scornful. The reply humorously suggests he needs medical treatment rather than sympathy, stating he should visit a hospital for care.
Spohns Distemper Cure claims to cure distemper in all ages and prevent disease in the stable, also curing chicken cholera and dog distemper. Available through druggists or by mail 50 cents and 1 dollar for larger bottles, with agents wanted and a free book from Spohn Medien Co Spec Contagious Diseases Goshen Ind.
A clipped dialogue from Lippincott's features Diplomile arguing over marriage with Mrs Smith, ending with her submission as he asserts the husband title.
Fragmentary text references a Dr Patieta and vague claims about medicines or cures. Mentions politicians and an alien vote long ago, but sentences are incoherent with missing context. No clear events, dates, or verifiable entities to summarize into a coherent news item.
Prof. A. M. Ten Eyck outlines drought resistant crops for dryland farming at the Western Kansas Farmers conference in Hays Kansas. He classifies early maturing crops, deep rooting moisture gatherers, and hardy dormant types such as kafir corn sorghum buffalo grass as best suited to semi arid conditions. He notes soil moisture holding capacity and irrigation absence influence success, and cites Linfield on crops grown without irrigation.
The article explains dry farming as a moisture conserving system for arid and semi arid regions. It covers soil packing, deep plowing, surface mulch, crop rotation, seed efficiency, and the need for proper machinery and planning to store moisture for multiple crops.
Practical agricultural tips on livestock care and management. Advises preventing mare weakness, trimming wool before burdensome grow, curing skittish horses, estimating corn needs, keeping pens clean, reducing odor for sheep, tracking hog finances, grazing access with concentrate, avoiding overfeeding, securing fences, selling wool on market, and early docking and castration of lambs. Encourages choosing good animals and avoiding poor sheep.
A whimsical account shows Hannibal and staff halted by a tin badge constable who jokes about speed and taxes. The scene turns to laughter before tensions rise and a mock episode ends with a wild flight toward Rhudderlagy Roma-Roeston.
In a Herry tale a young girl named Anna eagerly anticipates her first sea swim. She rises early to don her bathing suit and slips away before the crowd arrives, hoping to avoid cold water as more people enter the water after breakfast.
An old advertisement urges that deafness due to catarrh can only be cured constitutionally. It claims catarrh inflames mucous membranes and offers $100 if Matte Catarrh Cure fails, directing readers to send for circulars from F. I. Cheney & Co. Toledo Ohio and Adams Drugists.
A dramatic exchange escalates as a betrayed lover accuses another of deception. She brandishes a stash described as golden evidence from Slray Stories, hinting at a secret tied to hair and a shoulder. The dialogue preserves a noirish tension.
An advertisement touts Castoria as a safe and reliable medicine for infants and children. It claims the product has been a trusted remedy for over 30 years and includes the familiar signature line You Have Always Bought.
Fragmentary prose ponders fashion driven proposals and the oath to obey in marriage. Included are ad phrases for eye salve and various products, with misspelled brand names and scattered promotional snippets embedded in the text.
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