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Newspaper
Tooele Times
Location
Tooele, Utah, United States of America
Date
Dec 31, 1910
Page
2
A spray of satirical anecdotes comments on manners and news through punning quips. Topics range from fashion and courtship to aviation, photography, marriage, and the duties of storage firms, with cross cultural quips about English lords and American currency. The tone mimics a newspaper miscellany column.
Reports from the Aleutians describe four days of strong volcanic activity and earthquake shocks. Scientists regard Alaska as a center of notable seismic and volcanic behavior in the region.
A large mackerel leaped aboard a schooner off Massachusetts and fed the crew at breakfast. Veteran fish-story tellers of the Ananiag Club kept up their lively tradition while discussing forest conservation. The group suggested building with cement and steel to save forests, though it would not preserve iron ore, coal supplies, or builders’ bank accounts.
In Los Angeles the Blewellyn Tron Works suffered a heavy blast, destroying the front of the three story building and shattering windows to distant areas. A night watchman was injured. police lack leads on culprits. Owners tie the explosion to citywide labor trouble involving the Llewellyn company.
New York report says Dr. Frederick A. Cook rebutted Knud Rasmussen’s criticism of his Arctic narrative. The Brooklyn explorer alleged Rasmussen sinks to muck-raking for publicity and defended his own account while acknowledging Peary’s claims but preferring Peary’s word over Rasmussen or Eskimos on achievements.
An authentic report claims Mexican insurgents looted the azore and ranch near San Carlos belonging to Enrique C. Creel, taking 2350 saddles horses and 160 cattle. The insurgents also reportedly seized the town of San Carlos, while a Mexican army colonel is said to have been killed at Maulato during a around fire engagement.
Two men and a boy were killed when a Baltimore and Ohio passenger train struck their nine vehicle truck while delivering Christmas presents for a Philadelphia department store. The accident occurred near Moore, ten tubes from the city.
An alleged moonshiner Carter Lingerfelt was shot and killed by Rev. W J Kimmon at Mount Pisgah Baptist Church in Gilmer County Georgia. The incident followed a forcible confrontation allegedly initiated by the moonshiner.
A Morris and Company beet house blaze at Chicago’s stack yards killed Fire Chief Horan and twenty four other men, plunging the city into mourning with church services offering prayers for the dead and grief-stricken families. Nags hung at hallmast as residents shared sorrow.
Alexander Skibinski a renowned Russian violinist and professor at Shorter College suffered the loss of three fingers after a firecracker mishap. The incident occurred after he misordered a candle from a store where he asked for Tomane¢andles. He had arrived in the United States last September and was in Nome Georgia at the time.
Night and day steam hammers windlass and drills roar at the Maine wreck where over 100 men conduct preliminary work to raise the battered hull.
A lamp explosion during breakfast at Eldo Bech home in Byron West Virginia ignited a bedroom blaze killing twin six month old boys. Firefighters battled flames as investigators opened a preliminary inquiry into the tragic accident.
A dense recap notes a Los Angeles shooting of Mrs Dagmar Carroll after a quarrel in Los Angeles. Idaho post office raid and gunfight with a robber killed one suspect and led others to surrender. Union members in Lafayette Colorado begin long jail terms for striking violations. Cattlemen fear Navajo interference in Colorado wildlife, while a Spokane murder trial convict marks a second-degree verdict for Patrick Holland.
A Prague fire department report notes no lives lost in 16 years and average annual property losses under 20,300 dollars over three years. It describes strict construction standards with brick, cement, terra cotta facades, concrete hallways, granite stairs, and limited wood, plus centralized heating in new buildings.
The article argues municipal slaughterhouses improve sanitary conditions, noting Paris Texas as the only active plant in America. It warns private abattoirs vary, inspections are often superficial, and cities should build sanitary slaughterhouses with low charges to cover costs.
The Philadelphia Inquirer notes the school gardening program has grown since last summer with over 4 300 gardens at students homes eight large school plots and twelve kindergartens. The effort earns high quality produce and strong support from pupils and teachers. Plans to expand next year are hoped to succeed.
Yonkers New York announces a third public bath house in Youkere North. The facility is a Spanish Renaissance building praised as one of the finest in the country. The pool measures 64 by 37 feet with a depth of four to seven feet. It includes tiled floors and walls and can serve about 125 people at once in showers and the tank. Total cost to date is $41,000.
The Catholic Standard and Times quotes Skinner arguing that his pricing is deliberately below what items should cost customers. The remark implies customers would pay more if priced at their perceived value.
A philosopher states that after reviewing all philosophy there is one rule for guidance. When you are sure you are right you should suspect you are wrong. The line suggests a humility principle about certainty in thinking.
A long testimonial from Hiram E. Carpenter of Henderson, N Y, later Lans ing Mich, describes twenty years of psoriasis, severe skin cracking, and relief after using Cuticura remedies. He reports dramatic improvement within six weeks and no recurrent symptoms years later, with ongoing praise for the Wash Soap Ointment and Resolvent system.
A dialogue centers on delaying marriage as a couple weighs a lengthy engagement. He asks if she believes in long engagements and she responds that rushing into matrimony is a mistake. They consider delaying to learn more about each other before marriage.
Exhortation to inspect CASTORLA bottles for infants and children as a trusted remedy, claiming the product bears a long standing signature of reliability and has been in use for over eighty years. The item underscores The Kind You Have Always Bought.
An actress in makeup challenges standard art norms with bold phrases and poses. The piece features provocative lines about reversing rules and the tension between performance and drawing after.
A fragment recalls fashion hacks and cautions about self improvement while touting Wizard Oil for pain and Dr. Pierce's Pellets as candy coated tonics. The piece blends quips on lilting domestic repair with medical potions and playful aphorisms.
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