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This newspaper page contains 12 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
The Old Abe Eagle
Location
White Oaks, New Mexico, United States of America
Date
May 24, 1894
Page
3
A traveling salesman proposes a patent for artificial leg and wing bones made of gutta percha to imitate white meat. He explains a mold and oven process to bake in inexpensive meat around the bone, hoping to fool boarders with leg and wing servings. The landlady, who serves only white meat, rebukes the claim and the salesman departs in defeat.
Eight suudds, an impecunious bachelor, complains to Stubbs about the lack of eligible dowries among ladies. Stubbs offers to introduce him to "pretty young ladies" with dowries of at least 20000. They joke about debts and marriage, with a wittily misconstrued creditor debtor exchange.
A fragmentary comic vignette narrates a youthful couple, he 21 and she 18, marrying with dreams of theater tickets and simple pleasures. The piece juxtaposes their naive romance with light humor from other clippings about courtships, friendships, and everyday misunderstandings, including a Gettysburg anecdote and a birthday-equals-presents quip.
A garbled line of dialogue pokes fun at school teaching and pupils on a crowded train. The segment references a studious new schoolteacher and mentions impatient passengers with scattered phrases and misspellings. The piece preserves the oddball rural newspaper tone.
A humorous, ribald miscellany from Washington Post and Tat Bits recounts a devout yet illiterate Brer Lias seeking ministry, a Potiphar and Jezebel parable read aloud, and a Georgia railroad mix up at Toccoa. The piece blends humor with rural sayings and old newspaper quotes.
A New York Weekly note describes a rubber stamp device with the line Declined with thanks that lets a poet mail a poem to themselves and discard it, claiming it would save ten times the postage each week. The gag targets aspiring writers and a wandering general agent touting a money saving invention.
An excerpt from New York Weekly references Mrs Sharpeigh and Mrs Smoothleigh in a domestic quarrel, noting daughters and affection within a family. It includes a medical endorsement by Dr F Scott of Blue Ridge Missouri for Chamberlain's Cough Kenedy as a safe remedy for whooping cough and warns it is suitable for babies, with bottles sold by Dr M G Paden.
Regular communication the last Saturday night in the month preceding the full moon Grovor Kurta W M Exarrr Contin Secretary Olden Rule Lodge No 16 0 0 Media Tuesday evening at Taliaferro Hall at 8 o clock Visiting brothers cordially invited to attend Venatex NQ Puanx G Raise Secretary
Methodist Church holds Sunday services at 9 00 and 7 45 AM with Sunday School at 10 00. Taos Honasox Pastor Flymouth Congregational Church offers Sunday services at 11 00 and 7 48 PM with Sunday School 10 00, Christian Endeavor Wednesdays. Ann A Hunn is pastor with other services as announced.
The eastern mail from Carthage arrives at 7:00 a.m. The eastern mail for Carthage closes at 2:30 p.m. The southern mail via Nogal St Stanton Lincoln Roswell arrives 2:00 to 8:00 p.m. The southern mail for some points departs immediately after the eastern mail arrival.
Post office hours listed 7 am to 7 pm with Sunday 9 am to 2 pm. Money orders and the Register Department operate 9 am to 5 pm.
Velanco Texas invites shipments and travelers by rail and sea to its southern port. Officials tout better pay and earlier ripening markets versus California. Cold spell noted with the coldest day in three years.
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