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The La Jara Chronicle in La Jara, Colorado

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Newspaper

The La Jara Chronicle

Location

La Jara, Colorado, United States of America

Date

Jan 01, 1909

Page

3

Home Champagne Popular

The bureau of Statistics reports the study on champagne production in the United States finds domestic output nearly half of imports of similar wine. It notes about one third of genuine champagne consumed is from U S production and the share is rising.

Bureau of Statistics United States

Washington County Black Bass and Texas Rivalry

The Houston Post extols Washington county black bass famed for appetite and flavor. It notes rabbits fed on Texas verdure influence on bass flavor. Potomac bass locals feed on frogs and June bugs and remain smaller compared to Texas bass giants.

Washington County Texas Potomac Washington Houston Post

Eyes as Barometer of Feelings and Seasickness Claim

An aphoristic note argues eyes reflect emotions and warns that many people feel seasick from visual motion. It suggests placing a person before a wall mirror and moving the mirror to trigger a seasick response in most women observed.

Manly Privilege Prayer Prompt Sparks Laughter

A boy named Egbert, reproved by his mother for using bad language, asks God during evening prayers to make him a man so he can swear freely like Uncle Bob without anyone noticing. The humorous exchange highlights a child's mischievous request and parental discipline.

Egbert Uncle Bob

Toad as Assistant Gardener Inspires Toad Army Idea

A gardener notes a large toad contained at least 50 grape vine worms 55 potato bugs 60 sowbugs and many flies and mosquitoes in its stomach. He argues this shows the value of toads on premises for pest control and chumber work.

Tea a la Russe Instructions for preparation

Four teaspoonfuls of mixed tea are steeped in a scalded teapot with boiling water. After five minutes add a quart of hot water, steep three minutes, strain, cool, and chill on ice. Serve in glasses with crushed ice and lemon slices, and offer leaf sugar.

Johns Hopkins to Admit Women as Students

Johns Hopkins University will hence forth admit women as students in the same manner as German universities. Professors may admit women to their classes at their discretion, and Baltimore papers foresee ready acceptance by faculty. The change is attributed to President Ira Remsen.

Johns Hopkins Johns Hopkins University Baltimore Papers Ira Remsen

Samson cigar prompts quip about strength and hair

In a light exchange, Gunner asks how the Samson cigar is, noting his wife bought him a box. Guyer jokes about Samson’s hair, as Gunner links the name to strength. The dialogue showcases a playful banter over a brand in a casual moment.

Gunner Sid Man Samson Guyer

Antrim Castle Mace and Chair May Reappear in Ireland Parliament Talk

Among the valued possessions at Antrim castle, the mace and speaker's chair of the old Irish house of commons stand with Viscountess Massereene and Ferrard as chatelaine. They could be used again if a British liberal government bill grants Ireland its own parliament.

Antrim Castle Massereene Ferrard House of Commons Ireland

Modern girl described as sphinx in Tirone correspondent

A Tirone correspondent mocks the modern girl calling her a hybrid creature who dislikes children and speaks slang riddled with humorless disdain for feminine graces, calling them tommy rot in a sharp indictment of contemporary behavior.

Tommy Rot The Tirone

King Carlos Bestows Barony on American Businessman

King Carlos awards A Patterson, manager in Portugal for Standard Oil, with a baronial title in recognition of his role in expanding Portugal United States commercial ties. Diplomats in Lisbon express keen interest in the unprecedented honor.

Carlos A. Patterson Portugal Standard Oil Company United States Mr. Patterson Lisbon

The Barbarian's Apology on Adornment

Vanity Fair remarks on human impulse to adorn oneself calling it a natural instinct. It argues women who suppress this impulse gain little while losing more, framing adornment as a universal temptation and cultural practice.

Vanity Fair

Now Birdie Gets His Headlines in Verse

A playful poem by Judge contrasts man racing with wildlife and machines. It jokes that humans beat animals and even birds in racing through feats like cars, horse handicaps, greyhounds, submarines, and flying gear. The speaker crowns man as superior in prowess.

Intellectual Jones the farmer known for almanacs

Mrs Kornkob jokes about the Jones man who bought the neighboring farm being very intellectual because he can recite four different almanacs. The exchange appears in the Milwaukee Sentinel via the Weekly Screech.

Hiram

Need for Speed Little Jim-Ikey Smokes Weed

A cheeky note from The Sketch alleges that a boy named Jim-Ikey was seen smoking weed. It calls for quick attention and urges readers to come and view the offender.

Little Jim Ikey

Seemed to Prove It The Happy Girlie Scorns Blithe Belief

A playful exchange unfolds as a happie asks if ignorance is bliss and a girlie replies with a scornful glance that the speaker appears happy. The fragment hints at a witty social moment and contrasts stated belief with observed mood.

What He Feared

A discharged gardener eyes his late master with gloom and predicts he will be missed soon. The master retorts he will endure, provided nothing else is missed, in a terse Chicago Journal exchange.

Alf Chicago Journal

Clever Finance and a Bargain Dress Tale

Mr Bumblebee forbids spending beyond fifty dollars for a gown but learns his wife saved by a markdown. She declares the savings to have funded a new hat, proving a woman’s business acumen. The tale ends with his reluctant concession to her savvy.

Mr. Bumblebee Mrs. Bumblebee Josiah

Summer boarders advertising in a Milwaukee Sentinel echo

In a domestic exchange Mrs. Kornkob asks Hiram if he bought canned peas tomatoes dried fruit salt pork and other staples on his trip to town. She notes plentiful supplies and suggests it is time to advertise for summer boarders reflecting small town life.

Hiram

Time to Reflect and Measure My Finger for Ring

A brief exchange quotes Sweet Girl and Fond Lover discussing a week for reflection and an engagement ring. The dialogue notes that even if acceptance occurs tonight, it would take about a week to craft the ring.

George N. Y

Train Holdups Told By A Worldly Traveler

The old traveler recalls repeated train robberies and jokes that he has always been held up with a whisk broom. The anecdote appears in the Milwaukee Sentinel as a colorful remark on danger and persistence while traveling.

Milwaukee Sentinel

Woman's Ingenuity Hat Exchange In The Sentinel

A Milwaukee Sentinel item notes a woman showing off a mushroom hat that is actually an old round work basket trimmed to look new. The playful exchange highlights fashion ingenuity and communal humor.

Gertrude Milwaukee Sentinel

Wilkins plans lawn mower box ride for baby

Milwaukee Sentinel reports Wilkins proposes a summer scheme to air his infant by attaching a box to the top of a lawn mower for the child to ride as the lawn is mowed.

Milwaukee Sentinel

A New Idea for Society Dinners

A Baltimore American piece muses on the social set seeking fresh thrills at gatherings, suggesting dried apple parties as new sensational affairs. The dialogue hints at society’s push for novelty in hosted events and the allure of unconventional displays.

Baltimore American

What Attracted Him in Royal Gossip

In a sharp exchange Miss Nuroz rebukes Mr. Hunter for proposing to a lady beyond his station and wealth. he retorts that he knows better but is not rich. The brief dialogue reflects social tensions and class expectations in royal circles.

Merely an Income Alimony Quip Cited by Milwaukee Sentinel

A brief quip attributed to the Milwaukee Sentinel notes a comic misunderstanding about marriage motives. A woman explains she did not marry for riches, but for alimony, highlighting the line Merely alimony. The exchange centers on financial standing and proposals.

Jack Milwaukee Sentinel

Comic Cycling Clash Ends With Vengeful Punchline

A facetious cyclist taunts a knocked over man who then reacts by striking back and punching him, declaring he will “take it out of your hide.” The brief incident ends with the victim rising and retaliating.

Too Much Exertion Cartoon Dialogue

A Chicago Tribune cartoon caption features Cholly asking Freddy why he never wears a top hat. Freddy quips that always worrying about looking impressive is too much strain, reflecting comic irony about appearances.

Cholly Freddy Chicago Tribune

Forbidding the Banns and Pity in Love

A Baltimore American exchange questions marriage motives with a debate about pity versus love in selecting a spouse. The dialogue probes whether marrying out of pity is truly moral or sustainable, contrasting emotional drivers in a dating decision.

Baltimore American

Prey of Disease Germs Warns Health Dangers

A cautious line asserts disease bacteria target the unfit and predisposed. The text warns against indifference to health noting that those run down or off their game invite germs and illness, urging heed to nature’s warnings.

England Plowing Champion Jim Baker Remains Wealthy

The man famed as England's top plowman, Jim Baker of Ipswich, won about £2000 in prizes. His thrifty, winning ways helped him build a comfortable competency from success in plowing contests.

England Jim Baker Ipswich

First Printing of Music and the Lemon Water Remedy

The text notes lemon water as a liver corrective and anti fat remedy when used hot. It asserts it improves skin clarity and beauty. It mentions Ottavio Petrucci introducing movable metal type to print musical notes in 1502, marking the start of modern music printing in Italy.

Italy Ottavio Petrucci

Explorer Acorded Honor, first white man to set foot upon New Zealand was Capt. Cook

The passage notes Captain Cook as the first European to land in New Zealand and mentions Captain Hobson as the country’s first governor, reflecting early colonial figures.

Acorded Honor New Zealand Capt. Cook Capt Hobson

Powdered codfish used in Iceland bread making

Powdered codfish is sometimes used in Iceland to make bread in place of flour, reflecting local culinary adaptation.

Iceland

Love and marriage observations from a Sunday magazine

A collection of wry aphorisms on love courtship marriage and gender roles. Witty quips compare dumbbells to women and discuss romance jealousy money and social norms with sharp humor and dated sentiment. Notable lines skew toward traditional views and playful jabs at marriage.

To Church or Get Fined On Gonoatoa Island

On Gonoatoa in the South seas the population is compelled to attend church at least three times weekly. Those who do not face arrest and a fine, with the penalty funds going to the king.

Gonoatoa South Seas

Decrease of Mortality Across Occupations

Mortality in every occupation has declined over the past decade due to improved ventilation and sanitation. Enhanced safety measures across industries contribute to lower death rates and greater precautionary practices.

Medicated Eggs Help Health Through Special Breeding

Wiesbaden chemist advocates feeding and breeding methods to raise iron levels in eggs, claiming medicinal value. The process aims to boost egg iron content to aid in treating various diseases.

Wiesbaden

German Railways Color Scheme Declared

State railways in Germany use carriage colors matching ticket classes. First class carriages are yellow, second class green, and third class white, aligning with respective ticket colors across the system.

Germany

Sunday Baseball Discipline Joke From Harper's Weekly

A clergyman encounters boys playing baseball on a Sunday and warns a struck out batter. The boy retorts that his father is the shortstop, implying the father would approve or handle it, creating a humorous contrast.

Harper’s Weekly

Heat Toll Flares in New York and France Summers

The 1772 New York summer was dreadful with main streets like battlefields. Some 155 sunstroke cases on July 4 alone, many dying. The next year France recorded a thermometer reading of 118 degrees Fahrenheit.

New York France

Rivalry of Fishermen Ends in Tragic Intoxication

A Newfoundland fleet started a contest to see who could eat the most salted cod. The winner drank from a decanter to quell thirst and collapsed unconscious. The episode caused fatal stomach inflammation and death.

Newfoundland

Women as Breadwinners Then and Now

A fragmented 16th century mosaic shows women achieving varied feats from racing jockeys and deepsea divers to gold prospectors and railroad presidents. The clumsy OCR shifts mention Cape Cod mariners, ranchers, and midcentury figures, ending with a note on church music bans proposed by the Council of Trent in 1562 due to frivolous styles.

Council of Trent

In Other Words. Chicago judge suspends anarchist sentence

In a Baltimore American quote inspired item, the dialogue questions capital punishment when a judge grants a suspended sentence. The exchange notes the phrase they used, comparing hanging with a suspended result, reflecting on historic sentences and legal phrasing.

Baltimore American

He Knows the Breed dog dialog in crime page

In a terse exchange a speaker asks for a dog described as between a greyhound and a skye terrier with a curly tail. The dog fancier responds with a stark line saying he drowns them.

Poor Bird Cry In Meadowed Stadium Tale

The Milwaukee Sentinel quotes a voice mournful about being overworked and ignored in a game. A distressed bird vents frustration at being heralded early then forgotten, lamenting abuse and lack of recognition.

Milwaukee Sentinel

Uncle Allen Quotation on Crooked Men’s Demeanor

A Chicago Tribune quote attributed to Uncle Allen Sparks states a man may smile and still be a villain, noting experience with crooked men who can keep a straight face. The remark highlights distrust of outward appearances versus inner character.

Uncle Allen Sparks Chicago Tribune

Mean Thrust Proposes A Belle George Moment

In a witty exchange from the Baltimore American a Belle George proposal scene is noted with a playful line about romance. Neil counters that such declarations are common with many girls, highlighting a lighthearted social vignette.

Belle George Neil Baltimore American

Heir to a Rich Uncle Provokes Wigging

In a Baltimore American quotation a character explains he endures harsh parental treatment because he is the heir to a wealthy uncle. The line frames a family power dynamic and inheritance tension.

Baltimore American

Infallible Sign Parody Quip From Cleveland Leader

A Cleveland Leader quip jokes that distinguishing mushrooms from toadstools is learned from the obituary notices in the papers next day. The line uses wit to reflect on notices and the afterlife. The item captures a brief newspaper humor remark from the era.

Cleveland Leader

Noticed Love Tends To Endurance In Relationships

A reflective aphorism contrasts laughter with lasting love noting that forgiveness fades when a partner neglects self. It comments on how women’s friendships draw from a surplus of affection and how affection sustains connections over time.

American vines raise yields in French vineyards

Introduction of American vines in French vineyards boosted per acre output from sixteen to twenty-two barrels to thirty-eight to forty-eight barrels.

Amateur Signifies Lover in Art History

The term amateur derives from French via Latin amator, meaning a lover of any art rather than a professional practitioner. It traces linguistic roots to a descriptive label for those who pursue art out of passion, not earnings.

Italian engineer develops air chamber elevator for raising sunken ships

An Italian inventor unveils a method using canvas and wire air chambers, each lifting sixty tons, to raise sunken vessels. The device allows attaching multiple chambers as needed to achieve required lift.

Between Man and Wife in Married Life Sacrifices

In married life sacrifices must be forever going on if one would be happy. Strife and unrest are the chief foes to ideal happiness, and there are few things not matters of conscience which are worth disputing between man and wife.

Want to Help in the Making

A young girl says she would rather not marry a man who already has everything as it would be like buying a ready made dress, depriving her of the joy of making it. The remark reflects on choosing a partner as a craftsman chooses a custom fit.

Joseph Shaving in Ancient History

The earliest known mention of shaving appears in Genesis where Joseph shaved before Pharaoh. Romans introduced shaving beards around 300 B.C., marking a notable shift in grooming customs across cultures.

Joseph

Invention Reimagines Magazine Handling Device

A machine is announced that folds wraps addresses and sorts magazines, sparing workers from manual reading. Punch remarks that humans still must read them, calling it regrettable. The note highlights progress and lingering labor concerns.

Still Carry Wine in Pigskins Across Interior Spain

A descriptive note on how wine travels through Spain’s interior using goat or pig skin bottles, matching the ancient method Herodotus described. The text highlights the persistence of traditional containers in regional wine transport.

Spain Herodotus

Old Inn Loses L Se License Near Warrington Eng

A 400 year old inn near Warrington faces extinction of its license. The sign hangs on the adjacent church and the cellar extends beneath the building, tying the fate of the establishment to its historic site and structure.

Warrington Eng

Gathered Wisdom On Patience And Social Folly

A collection of wry maxims on patience, honesty, aging, and social roles. It notes that patience can be mistaken for sense, gossip opens many tongues, smiles may hide lies, and women’s influence is contrasted with ornamental views. It also touches on wealth, marriage, politics, and appearances with satirical bite.

Solomon the Tree Lover and His Transplants

Fragmented excerpt cites moral maxims urging thrift effort and cleanliness. It includes references to William Morris and Henry Cusack, then shifts to Solomon famed for transplanting trees from distant lands. The piece notes Judea’s balsam and the queen of Sheba gifting a root, framing a tale of horticultural exchange.

Solomon Judea Sheba

Magick Offer From South McAlester News On Snakes

The South McAlester News offers a handmade poem on footmade paper to the first long-time subscriber who can state precisely where a snake’s head ends and its tail begins.

South McAlester

First Australian land grant to German immigrant Schaffer

The immigrant who first received a land grant in Australia was a German named Schaffer. He was given fifty acres in Sydney and sold them in 1807 for twenty gallons of rum. The land later was valued at $500,900.

Australia Schaffer Sydney

Bridal Cake of Brittany Adorns Bridal Feast

Conspicuous among Brittanys wedding feast adornments is an elaborate butter structure resembling a bridal cake. Guests insert split sticks bearing coins of gold or silver into the ornate butter sculpture.

Brittany

Also Mentioned on This Page

Birdie Clever Finance Bumblebee Love Kate Thyson Marr Grains Earth Raiway Cape Cod Tacoma Point Monterey Vexas Ranch Greer Uncle Allen Law Lea Gedlines Parcon William Morris Henry Cusack New Yor
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