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Newspaper
The Hays Free Press
Location
Hays, Kansas, United States of America
Date
Jun 22, 1907
Page
5
A prominent orchardist received a White House letter expressing the President's appreciation for a fine fruit basket. The recipient shared the note with his head gardener, who gravely noted not to respond. Prize mentions include Foster for the school tan contest.
Upton Sinclair quips that charity from the rich often oppresses the poor, using a fishery metaphor about rubbing a fish mouth with finiment. A Pittsburgh bid aims for a 40 story 700 foot tallest structure, surpassing a planned New York tower. Also mentioned are radio reform critiques and Defiance Starch’s value, plus a note on microscope magnification highlighting 16,000x as a joke about tiny things.
Missouri Attorney General Hadley won a temporary restraining order against seven railroads in St Louis to enforce the two-cent passenger rate and maximum freight rate laws taking effect Friday. A similar action occurred in Kansas City against other Missouri roads, with eighteen roads implicated overall. Hadley warned of possible fraud claims if any railroad injunctions from federal court were shown to have been obtained. He said the case targets railroad defendants and would be enforced by prosecutors in every county, signaling a prolonged legal battle.
Newport News Virginia reports the missing launch located in 27 feet of water about 1,600 yards west by south of Fort Wool. Canopy frame crushed, towing line visible, divers found three bodies beneath the canvas. Recovery expected by 5 o'clock Saturday morning with unknown number of bodies.
Washington reports a sanguln ary war scenario with possibly two or more wars and revolutions in Central America by summer 1907 after the failed joint peace efforts of Mexico and the United States. The piece notes diplomats’ disappointment and ongoing instability in the region.
Wm H Watter of Chatsworth Illinois suffers kidney disease with flank pain and dark urination. He credits Coen's Kidney Pills with quick relief and recovery, claiming a weight gain from 144 to 200 pounds after treatment. Sold by all dealers for 50 cents. Foster Milburn Buffalo N Y.
A Baltimore Washington trip ends with Mrs Blank discovering her umbrella is missing. The husband blames himself but the wife retorts that national affairs rest with more than him. The quip underscores domestic power dynamics in a humorous dig from Success Magazine.
Mrs Linsie B Sledge of Selma Alabama describes a four year battle with black facial spots and itching that physicians failed to treat. After using Cuticura Remedies for six months the eruptions disappeared and no symptoms remained for three years. The statement ends with a Marcus Aurelius quote about contempt.
A scattered ledger of amusing clippings shows a Indiana collector seeking a ten dollar bill for a framed collection and a bank town tie. A post office patron requests red tape after being refused string, and ad blurbs pitch patent medicines, starch, and humorous vignettes about cradling and trains.
A fragment mentions Mr Deeley satire on truth and counterfeiters, notes a French admiralty drive against rats on ships, and praises Defiance Starch for at home laundering with proper finish, ending with a S S Smiles quote on generous minds serving humanity.
Meandering Mike proclaims honesty as guiding value while Plodding Pete notes actions fall short of hiring top legal talent. The quirky dialogue hints at self awareness and constraints in pursuing qualified counsel.
An 1907 ad promotes Security Gall Salve to ease sore shoulders necks and backs of work horses and mules. It claims quick pain relief after first application and says the salve aids recovery when stock are cut by barb wire. Distributed by Security Remedy Co. Minneapolis and Wichita.
An advertisement extols Mrs. Lydia E. Pinkham and her Vegetable Compound as a remedy for female weakness and related ailments. It quotes testimonials from Mrs. Sadie Abbott and others, urging women to consult Pinkham’s and follow her advice for health, recovery, and better roles as wives and mothers.
A compact collage of quotations on women’s unpredictability, the appeal of fine white goods, and starch’s role in laundry. It includes a London World remark about women's sway, advice praising Defiance Starch for crisp results, a gleeful breach of promise note, and a Quaker joke about warming up with a shawl.
Fragmentary text presents jumbled phrases about shoes, sizes, and a quoted Goethe line. It mentions wealth, power, and self-forging deeds in a disjointed, damaged excerpt with mixed phrases and incomplete names.
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