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Newspaper
The Citizen Republican
Location
Scotland, South Dakota, United States of America
Date
Nov 19, 1908
Page
7
The Tit-Bits profile hails Princess Danilo, formerly Duchess Jutta of Mecklenburg, as Europe’s champion royal woman wrestler. A talented pianist and artist, she excels in wrestling after mastering jiu jitsu, with frequent success in uts.
The Well Informed demand a pleasant efficient liquid laxative with known wholesome components. California Fig Syrup Co presents Syrup of Figs and Elixir of Senna as a respected remedy trusted by physicians for family use. Buy genuine California Fig Syrup Co. product only, sold by leading druggists at fifty cents per bottle.
Whittier’s verse about two angels named Pity and Love approaching heaven as sin is forgiven. The text ends with a brief, abrupt joke: Can you change a dollar for me. Sure. I’ll give you the dollar in the mornin.
A Denver bank worker indorsed a friend's $100 check two months ago. The check was protested, he covered the amount, and quit smoking, promising to offset tobacco savings with the loss. Recently the friend's father repaid the $100, leaving the couple relieved and tobacco-free.
From the New York Herald a chef in a lunch room named Adam Brede is declared the happiest man in New York. Over twenty years ago he deposited $50 in Seaman's Bank. After a festival he lost his bank book and friend. The friend later found the book and returned it with $1,000 interest. The tale tracks across Albany San Francisco and a fruit business that earned $54,000, ending with Brede reclaiming the book and funds.
The piece quotes Mr Dooley musing on why people are unhappy. He jokes that work, poverty, selfishness, and desire shape happiness or sorrow. He notes happiness may fade when all desires are met and family watches actions.
A lecturer toured rural areas and told an anecdote of a poor widow who paid off her farm mortgage in one year with a single wheat crop. After the talk a man pressed for the widow’s identity saying she fit the bill he sought. The speaker replied the widow’s name was not disclosed.
A clipped editorial muses on changing fashions and urges spectacle in attire. It notes a recent decree prohibiting women from bullfighting in Spain, framing the move as a loss of grace and charm.
Milford resident Sylvanus O Verrill credits Dean's Kidney Pills with restoring kidney function after a severe injury left him nearly disabled. He describes relief from back pain and swelling, crutch-assisted mobility, and rapid recovery following use.
An anecdote from the Washington Times notes J. Johnston the new U S senator from Alabama, an avid agriculturist. While in Birmingham a society visitor asks a gardener about pay, he replies he gets only clothes and keep and agrees to work for her for life.
Disjointed dialogue shows a conductor debating fare rules with a passenger while discussing deafness treatment and a medical pitch. A polluted stream of phrases blends ethical limits, ticket policies, and dubious cures amid unrelated verse fragments.
An 80 year old man describes relief from severe hemorrhoids and eczema after a month of Cuticura Soap Ointment and Pills with injections and suppositories, then maintaining with daily use. He cites prior hospital surgery as unhelpful and notes long cost. Apr 26 1907. Louise Imogen Guiney poem follows.
A Minnesota editors' tour of Western Canada yields praise for growth and potential. Reports say land rules allowing 320 acres with 3 per acre plus 160 acres homestead, 1908 crops strong, Milestone Saskatchewan yields around 30 bushels per acre, total grain shipments near 900000 bushels. Government agents offer guidance on free funds and tractation.
A letter filled consumer testimonial advertising Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound as a cure for female troubles. It cites personal stories of avoiding surgery and restoring health, urging sick women to write for advice from Mrs. Lydia E. Pinkham of Lynn, Massachusetts.
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