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This newspaper page contains 16 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
The Beaver Herald
Location
Beaver, Oklahoma, United States of America
Date
Oct 07, 1909
Page
7
A jumble of 19th century musings on waistlines and daily life includes reflections on the shifting waist line amid modern fears, advice on laundering fine white goods with Defiance Starch, a quip about a maid and her mistress, and a joke about raising a suburban mortgage. The piece blends social commentary with household product endorsements and light humor.
A resort tale recounts a humorous fishing episode. A man dives, nets a four pound fish with his bare hand after seeing a diamond engagement ring fall from a girl at the resort. He uses a sun ray as lure to retrieve the ring and the fish, then learns the ring belonged to another girl. The light chat ends with a casual cigarette offer.
A mother recounts Willie’s midnight stroll as he sleepwalked from his room with a lawn mower pruning hook and broom toward the door. The incident ended with him safely halted, though he claims no memory, prompting amusement rather than alarm.
A playful exchange centers on a potential theft. The man asks Miss Quérulous for permission to steal a king. She refuses at first, then proposes a blunt condition: if he walks up and commits the act openly in a straightforward manner, she could condone the offense.
Mrs. Roos Shearer of Yew and Washington Street Centralia Washington Kaya relays a chronic bed bound period of months after physicians declared no cure. Shearer credits Dean Kidney Pills with a swift recovery, claiming improvement within days and return to daily activity. Pills sold by dealers at 50 cents a box, Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo, N Y.
Dialogue shows Jack recounting Lofty taking his fiancée Inez rowing on Sunday. The boat capsizes and Inez drowns. Ruth comments that Inez might have lived and married the fool, implying a grim twist.
The piece urges durability as the core of painting quality, touting pure white lead and linseed oil with the Dutch Boy Painter trademark from National Lead Company as a safety guarantee. It shifts to a maxim about early-to-bed habits driving daily work and wealth, then lists assorted Rough on products by Wells, chemist, Jersey City, with prices.
The remarks compare cricket and music while noting the debate over a candidate. A playful line about votes not received references a lemon basket carried to the defeated candidate. Names, dates, and places are not specified.
An assortment of vintage ads and quips appears, urging care with Castoria for infants, promoting Allen's Foot-Ease and shoe-store products, and offering humorous lines about marriage, allergies, laundry blueing, and men returning to work as readers navigate ads and amusing blurbs.
An 18th century style gathering features Maj. Arthur Porfester of the Mirkt Royal Dragoons speaking to locals about Cornwallis and Yorktown. The major questions how a strong British army could hold a weak militia position for weeks, then remarks on the town. The chairman quips that drinks are on him.
A fragmentary column parrots humor and social insight about marriage, temper, and social pretenses. It mixes playful banter with brief jokes and anecdotes from Windsor Magazine style humor, noting domestic friction and clever quips about daily life.
Fragmentary text notes Red Cross Ball Hive product, leading grocer pricing at five cents, and a line implying advertising bravado. Mentions belittling among men and vague names, with garbled phrases suggesting a colonial era sales pitch and security theme.
A house guest’s visit by a courteous woman left a servant with a warm memory. Mrs H recalls how the visitor’s cheerful smile and polite manner prompted the remark that she was always the one who smiles when she speaks.
An Atchison Globe excerpt recalls a farewelling scene in a young woman’s life as her father scolds her for romantic failures. He laments the honey boy’s spendthrift ways and vows support while warning of consequences. The elder couple pledge to persevere through the family turmoil with firm guidance.
A Dover lawyer recalls H L Dawes as a young and errant speaker in a case before a North Adama justice of the peace. The judge, struggling with the crowded room and temper, shed his coat and quipped for the audience to make space for Mr Dw peak. The tale captures a moment of legal bravado and restraint.
A fragmented excerpt notes a tense exchange where a fan challenges a speaker. The dialogue hints at teasing and a claim of deeper fablelike meaning. The illegible text preserves a moment of conflict and interpretation.
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