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Newspaper
Sumner Gazette
Location
Sumner, Iowa, United States of America
Date
May 18, 1893
Page
2
A compact humor column collects witty quips and satirical vignettes from various sources. The items range from playful anxieties about reading to social foibles, with scenes of love, travel, and domestic mishaps. Notable jests involve a girl on a cable car, a nurse questioning literacy, and a parade of petits faits divers.
Brief humor and oddly worded lines from various periodicals reveal social gaffes, misunderstandings, and witty exchanges. A nervous child recalls an accident, a man in eyeglasses tests vanity, a would be nun jokes about charity, a starving doctor is noted, and a traveling quip links wealth to pockets with a wink.
A compendium of quips and brief notices on humor and advertising. Items include jokes from Life and Puck, a wry note on kleptomania, a sharp critique of advertising scams, and a reflection on how newspapers remain the best medium for timely, seen ads.
Sermons urge daily private prayer as life’s lifeguard and urge guardianship of the poor. It cautions preachers on speech, stresses Scriptural truth over manner, and links piety to practical charity. It argues true wealth comes from heavenly trust, not earthly gain.
An excerpt from the Bt Louis Globe-Democrat recounts an engineer on the Pennsylvania Road describing encounters with the will o the wisp. He recalls a night crossing the Kankakee Swamp in Indiana where a pale light kept pace beside his train for nine miles, signaling potential trouble ahead, then vanished.
A series of railway cost notes explains it costs 10 cents to stop a locomotive and 4 cents per passenger car stop. Delays when passengers delay exits add 16 to 20 cents, a minor leak to guard against. Desecho island near Porto Rico hosts millions of rats threatening goats and shrubbery. Also cited is Syrup of Figs as a general laxative. Love is described as an intangible unrest and the unattainable quest of desire, with many phrasing quips about seeking and finding.
A fragmented column recalls Faraday’s government inquiry on the Haswell colliery disaster of 1844, cites his sharp cross examination on air currents, and humorously notes a cushionless chair moment. It also touts Hostetter’s Stomach Bitters as a universal remedy and touches on Nova Scotia mine titles, Hall’s Catarrh Cure, and antique royal curiosities.
A Grand Entertainment offers dramatic and humorous recitations and plays for home talent with Garrett's 100 Selections for 30 cents. New 240 page No. 22 includes two new comedies. plays cost 10 cents. Gannett & Co. advertise Philadelphia. Also notes stout men as advertising spaces in London. Offers seeds by Henderson & Co. in New York and a weight reduction piece from the Boston Globe.
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