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Newspaper
Sterling Script
Location
Sterling, Illinois, United States of America
Date
Mar 22, 1934
Page
15
A playful campus poem extends congratulations to many couples and pairs. It names Kreider, Pierre Hardy, Miller, Bill and Lola, Shaw and Bogott, Cleo, Burns, Goulding, Heflebower and Rad, Bernice Bardowski, Ports and Herbie, and others in a lighthearted salute to romance and social circles.
A satirical essay on eating missionaries notes rare arrivals on the island of Weateum. It recounts dwindling numbers from six to four per year, with one old maid missionary this year, and mocks substitute meats while calling for fatter, juicier missionaries in the future.
A lively retelling of St Patrick solving a meadow mystery by tooting his flute at snakes, which dance themselves into exhaustion and are planted as shamrocks. The origin tale grants Pat sainthood and proclaims the shamrock as Ireland’s national flower.
Spring opened with activity as Lola Hartshorn wears whoopee socks and June Smith prepares for Easter in a blue suit. Fran Greenlee gets a permanent, Dodie and Betty swim at the Y, Ward naps in class, and Bob O Rourke with Jeanne Walker spark detention. Larry Wheeler jokes about auctioning himself at tea.
A firm pledge to never be late again unless absolutely needed is announced as a strong new standard. The speakers express regret for past delays and commit to maintaining punctuality going forward.
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