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Newspaper
Spencer News
Location
Spencer, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Aug 12, 1909
Page
7
Readers are invited to request a free medical examination blank mailed to Munyon and have doctors diagnose their case. If curable, they will be told. if not, they will be told. No obligation, advice is absolutely free. Send for the examination blank to Munyon's, 58d and Jefferson streets, Philadelphia.
Land irrigated land offering perpetual water rights and fertile soil with potential crop yields of 66 bushels wheat per acre and 314 to 6 tons of alfalfa. Describes healthful climate and free timber with easy terms. Rock Springs Wyoming firm Linwood Land Company invites inquiries.
The late Thomas Bone known as the sailor's missionary is praised for kindness and wit in a just published life. A humorous anecdote shows his calm retort silencing a sailor, ending with a farmer’s line about an empty barn not being worth shining. The piece also notes Kentucky or Missouri tobacco’s smooth, fine effect when aged.
Wise is the man who closes his face before he says too much. The man who does his best can trust the world to do its part. Our mistakes of yesterday are responsible for our worries of today. It’s as difficult for some to let go as to catch on. Many men’s clothing comfort is what his wife won’t let him wear. After a millionaire, he can afford a shabby umbrella. Absent minded pay gas bills a day early. Do cheerful givers please the Lord as much as they please themselves. If a man never told a bet, a young mother never asked his opinion of her baby. When a girl calls a young man a bear, you draw your own conclusions. A bachelor finds matrimony a school for alimony. A boy enjoys a picnic only if a doctor is needed soon after. Fools in glad rags rush in where unlaundered hobos are knocked down. Beware of people who pat you on the back. they may kick your feet later. One thing in a newspaper interests a fat woman more than bargain ads, the obesity cure. There are $16 000 worth of buttons yearly, yet many men sew suspenders to trousers differently.
An old advertisement touts Doan's Kidney Pills as a cure for kidney irregularities and related pains. A testimonial from Mrs. John B. Whittaker of Madison Indiana describes relief from headaches backaches weakness swelling and nervous fatigue after using the product. Sold by all dealers for 60 cents a box from Foster Milburn Co Buffalo NY.
A Boston Herald tale relays an American minister’s sabbatical misstep as he tries to enter Parliament. After being mistaken for serving a lord, he is admitted by a puzzled doorkeeper who suspects a Scotch laird connection. The piece ends with a note on sore throat and a quick cure product.
Lord O'Brien figures in political life as Sir Peter O'Brien known by opponents as Peter the Packer. A court tale circulates about a judge trying a case with a litigant, where the lord chief justice addresses the witness and she retorts with a pointed reply Mrs Moriarity if you please Pather.
A Cleveland Plain Dealer fragment expresses how indigestion sparked by pie or cake prompts awkward lines about old versus new spelling. The speaker worries about modern shorthand and avoiding simplification, noting hip bruising as a possible outcome and lamenting being out of date.
North Dakota prospects promote Mouse River Loop lands as the best value for high interest. Ads claim rich crops including wheat oats flax corn clover alfalfa and gas coal with farm values rising. Also includes notices for cures and business opportunities from Indiana and Nebraska lenders seeking brokers and investors.
Japanese rural uplift spreads through the Flotokukwal society promoting moral and economic advancement. It operates in about 210000 hamlets, with government and prefectural support, and runs schools, workshops, periodicals, and agricultural programs. Initiatives include Buddhist priest training in farming and student led wicker basket and leech collection schemes with savings.
A collection of quips contrasts vanity and self deception with marriage, miserliness of promises, and social foibles. It contrasts a man who brags about wit with the reality of wifely and social tensions, noting how happiness and misery seek company and how wives influence fashion.
A Nebraska lawmaker delivered a momentous speech and quoted Daniel Webster about liberty or death. A colleague whispered that Webster did not write the dictionary. the speaker retorted that Noah built the ark, clarifying the joke with a pun about Noah.
Jay Eye See the first 2 10 trotter produced died at Pleasant View farm Racine after 14 years retirement. He aged 31 and had long dental troubles and poor nourishment. Brought fame from Kentucky to Cas o, Case, Bither trained him into a racing sensation. He set a 2 10 record in Providence 1884 and later paced 2 96 a mile. The animal’s legacy and a granite marker mark his final resting place.
Charles T. Bauer of 65 Volant, Pa, suffered eczema on hands arms and feet for twelve years. His hands and feet swelled itched and peeled until raw. After trying many salves and doctors he used Cuticura Remedies and soon healed with no relapses. Potter Drug & Chem Corp. promotes Cuticura.
A collection of satirical adages on marriage, gender, and society. It ribbingly contrasts male and female behavior, roles, and expectations with sharp, wry humor. Readers encounter playful critique of snobbery, love, prudence, and everyday folly.
An anecdote from Whiteville North Carolina recalls Powell Hale entertaining crowds in April with Edwin Weeks noting a young boy accompanying him to the opera house. After the show Hale asked Snowball if he enjoyed it and the boy replied that he enjoyed all but the last piece because white folks laughed loudly and kept him awake during it.
Three Irishmen stop at a second rate hotel. One, drunk, is carried to his room where another sleeping in a separate bed is a black man. In a prank, his mates paint his face black. He wakes, sees his reflection, and exclaims in alarm, misnaming the black man. He retreats back to bed.
This piece explains the cord as a wood measure of 128 cubic feet and explores how length, cutting method, and moisture affect true wood quantity. It shows that 12 foot versus 4 foot splits change usable volume, chip and sawdust losses differ by method, and that buyers and sellers have divergent interests in how wood is cut and seasoned. It notes varying wood volumes by wood type and moisture loss during seasoning.
A collage of wit and remark on gender, society and culture with anecdotes about William Locke, Lambs Club etiquette, and urban life. Includes social musings, sketches of public figures, and notes on Baltimore’s new horse rest farm under the Animal Refuge.
A Richmond, Virginia woman claims long coffee use harmed her health causing headaches heart palpitations and partial blindness. After stopping coffee and using Postum and Grape-Nuts she reports rapid health improvements including weight gain and improved memory and walking endurance, urging others to read The Road to Wellville.
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