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Newspaper
Sisseton Weekly Standard
Location
Sisseton, South Dakota, United States of America
Date
May 26, 1905
Page
6
Fragmented notice reports an individual from Salisbury area describing kidney related pain and swelling. A doctor suggested treatment, then relief followed after taking a medicine from Foster-Milburn Co. The text also mentions various names and obscure references, resembling an old medical advertisement style.
A three month old boy suffered severe itching and a watery rash with scratching till blood. After using Guticura products the child slept for the first time in weeks and reportedly received a complete cure. Signed by Mrs. M, Maitland, Jasper, Ontario.
The Creamery Journal notes Warsaw as a milk town both praised and mocked. Public dairies attract crowds for chats over coffee and milk while bars host games like chess and billiards. Yet milk supply remains described as wretched and indescribably bad.
Reprint of a testimonial about grip and rheumatism with claims that Dr Williams Pink Pills rapidly restore strength and blood. Mrs Van Looy and Mrs Laura Van Scoy describe relief after use, alleging the pills cured stiffness, pain, and heart anxiety and returned them to health.
The chapter unfolds with Captain Miller denying kinship to a brave young man and resisting captors who threaten his son. A planned escape intensifies as Paul Miller and the captain seize rifles, flee a cavern, and embark on a grueling trek through rugged terrain toward the snowbound mountains where a distant goal may lie.
Miss Mel's Jezebel presents a fresh portrait of the queen within the era of Omri Ahab and Elijah. The rapid stirring drama follows Jezebel’s persecution of Israel’s believers as she champions Baal worship. A strong woman with warm passions and jealous instincts drives a newly interpreted biblical tale.
A garbled passage shows Wan and the hermit in a strange sleep scene with restless stirring and shouted exclamations. Characters like Hatetun Lucial and Lei Allen appear in jagged dialogue as others warn of primers and a tense bay near Te Oley.
A report notes elephants have an extremely keen sense of smell and can detect a human from about 1008 yards away, illustrating their acute olfactory ability and potential for tracking.
A historical sketch contrasts current farming life with that of fifty years ago. It highlights modern conveniences such as daily mail, telegraph connections, and acetylene lighting in country homes. The piece praises ongoing growth and progress as the farmer becomes healthier, happier, and more connected to markets and technology.
A comical scene unfolds as George washington ipomas, an able bodied negro from Sleepy Hollow, stands before Magistrate Iibium charged with stealing chickens. He is accompanied by Col. Simmuns, a rising young white attorney. The judge, long seated, asks if he is the defendant, and the man quickly clarifies that his lawyer is the defendant while he proclaims himself the thief, drawing laughter from all present.
A fragmented humorous piece references historical figures and lines about stag parties and royal divorces. The narrator notes twelve more stan zas and references Henry XIII and Anne Boleyn. A messenger is sent with a playful royal sense while a man rushes to Brooklyn and phones his wife to keep dinner warm.
In Washington the American author Owen Wister was introduced to a prominent official’s wife who admired his work and recalled his sauce remark. The lady noted she could not always catch names and told him she especially liked his Worcester sauce, a moment of light humor amid the meeting.
A wartime exchange shows Private Murphy doubting survival as bullets pass overhead. The sergeant confirms risk and asks what would happen to Murphy if they dodged behind cover. Murphy fears getting through undetected.
An elderly parishioner repeatedly bowed whenever Satan was named in church. The minister reproved her, but she replied civility costs nothing and you never know what will happen. The report notes Oakes residents pleased over a seed wheat sale fret the Soo.
Miss Helen Miller Gould class lesson on fact presents a tale of a pompous husband who moves from one dinner partner to another, provoking wife and matron’s snide questions. The punchline reveals the husband’s back ailment as an excuse for his seating shifts and silence about his actions.
A verse heavy lyric critiques political campaigns and paying for influence. The speaker laments financiers chasing power, paying staff, and neglecting obligations as candidates travel and promise, while the public sees costs rise and ethics fade. The piece closes noting the Illinois State Journal as the source.
A Boston Herald quote depicts a small cousin being admonished for wrongdoing with a divine judgment. She inquires whether God created her and, after a yes, sighs that she would prefer another man had made her. The remark frames a humorous yet pointed commentary on original sin and human agency.
A Columbus Dispatch dialogue notes Swiggs is badly paralyzed, clarifying a misinterpretation of a stroke versus paralysis and stating the condition was current, not a stroke days earlier.
Clapper and Snapper riff on a tow headed youth with a glass in one eye and a cigarette. The joke lands on wordplay about being “half baked” and “all dough” after an old man leaves him five million.
A nondescript promotional item claims women suffer from derangements due to modern living. It quotes Mrs Chester Curry praising Lydia Pinkham's Vegetable Compound as curing years of irregularities and nervousness, urging timely use at first signs of ill health.
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