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Newspaper
Semi Weekly Herald
Location
Eldora, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Sep 16, 1905
Page
7
A collection of humorous snippets and quips. Notes include a remark about whisky in a bottle versus in a man, a Christian Science mother and child exchange, Sir John Sargent’s painter joke, and a streetcar scene with a rhymed Irish retort about poison.
A visiting nurse finds twelve oranges left untouched by a sick East Side child whose family avoids them because they look rich on the table. A suburban club writer gathers Victor Hugo facts from Carnegie Library sources and then adds a remark praising Hugo's English.
Madison officials clash over trolley poles near the capitol park as Governor La Follette tries to bar the work. Acting Governor Davidson orders a halt, the company suspends, and the dispute heads to court for injunctive relief. Warren Montgomery backs down after state threat, with legislature backing a permit vetoed by La Follette.
Accused by his mother of smothering his wife for a $1000 life policy, Adolph P. Wilhelm, a Hobart area farmer, is jailed without bail in Hammond. The mother reported Wilhelm confessed. his bride died last year with heart disease per coroner. Wilhelm denies guilt as the Ladies of the Maccabees had paid the policy.
Mrs I W Wright of 172 Main St Waverhill Mass describes four years of severe back pains irregular urinary passages and distressing monthly periods. After starting Dean's Kidney Pills she improved immediately and was cured in three boxes. Sold by all dealers 60 cents per box. Some men marry for money and take a wife as an incumbrance.
A woman shares a private secret and warns against repeating it, stressing careful discretion. She emphasizes trust and confidentiality, signaling the seriousness with which she treats the information and the need for restraint.
A 1920s style appeal from the Equitable Life Insurance Company of Iowa of Des Moines. It highlights assets over four million dollars, eighty six percent in first mortgage loans mostly on Iowa farms, and notes premiums stay in Iowa. It argues dividends exceed rivals, policies are annual dividend, and losses paid promptly in the home state. It ends with a rhetorical question urging residents to keep life insurance money at home.
A Brooklyn woman reports severe facial eczema cleared in a month after using Cuticura Soap, Ointment, and Resolvent. She says after five months of doctors, her skin improved from the first night and was fully clear in thirty days.
London reports Walter Hume Long, chief secretary for Ireland, announced the treasury will provide an additional 10 million dollars before year end and issue stock in 1906 to raise 50 million dollars in cash. The goal is to facilitate the Irish land act operations and remedy stalled land sales caused by lack of funds.
An advertising claim asserts Defiance Starch provides more lasting rigidity and strength than competing brands, with one third more yield for the same quantity, suggesting superior performance and value for fabrics and laundry outcomes.
The quote asserts that promoters prefer influencing gullible supporters rather than delivering remarkable achievements, implying a critique of prioritize quick profits and manipulation over genuine innovation or impact.
A fragmented item notes a prior claim about Piso's Cure and a quote from J. W. O'Brien of Minneapolis. Relatives reportedly doubt harsh judgments of a miser after his death, with the source fragment signaling a local recollection or paid notice context.
An advertisement offers Dr Kiino's Great Narvo Restor with a free 200 bottle trial. It lists BR King Ltd in Philadelphia and repeats the promo. The copy also includes a quip about a man and a woman and notes about farm rent or sale in Sioux City.
Defiance Cold Water Starch promises unmatched quantity and quality with 16 oz for 10 cents. It contrasts with rival brands that offer only 12 oz. The ad frames misery loving company as a reason to switch, suggesting customers should quit other brands and buy Defiance.
Daily tourist car service will commence September 15 between Chicago Los Angeles and Southern California via Chicago Milwaukee and St Paul Railway with through service over U P and the new San Pedro scenic line Trains depart Union Station Chicago at 6 15 p m daily Route goes through Omaha Ogden Salt Lake City and San Bernardino to Los Angeles F A Miller G P A Chicago invites full particulars Money has wings which should be clipped by judicious economy
Grocers report not stocking Defiance starch due to existing stock of 12 oz brands. They say customers who used 1602 Defiance Starch buy it only once and are unlikely to repurchase. Quick sales and low prices deemed essential for business.
Herbert Cruttenden, a Quincey bartender, was held up in his saloon and robbed of 50 dollars before being locked in an ice box. James Tracey, 19, and George Goodwin, 22, both from St. Joseph Missouri, were arrested nearby while attempting a hotel clerk robbery. Officers found silks valued at 700 dollars stolen from T. L. Fox Dry Goods. The youths confessed.
The American people are discovering that the Golden Gate is the front door to the Orient as travel flows westward via San Francisco Bay. While Asia seeks political settlements, commerce sparks a travel flood from California, with Sunset Magazine noting the westward momentum and vast untapped possibilities beyond the Pacific.
The Case of Miss Irene Crosby shows Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound as a cure for irregular and painful menstruation. The ad urges women with backache bloating leucorrhea or uterine troubles to take the remedy and write for free advice, citing Savannah Georgia reader Irene Crosby and many others cured by the product.
The Richardson estate on the north side of Hildreth Street near Jewett in Lowell is being razed to make way for a tenement block. The house, likely built about 1710, is considered the oldest in the area.
A boastful ad declares Defiance Starch superior in quality and quantity. It quips a curious incident where two men accidentally swap umbrellas and both suffer the worst outcome.
Telegraphic briefs report Mexican officials in Guadalajara ordering a nationwide lottery suppression. Other items note Gideons electing Hargis president and Hayes secretary at Peoria, a Springfield coal dispute lowering fuel to 1.75 a ton, a Thurmont Md couple involved in a fatal shooting following a jilting, Erie crew heading to Washington report on the polar expedition progress, Wexford’s ship incident near Duluth, and a bank robbery near Hamilton with possible injuries from an explosion.
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