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Newspaper
Semi Weekly Herald
Location
Eldora, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Apr 01, 1903
Page
3
Flutterby ponders a confusing issue while his wife questions if he has been drinking or marrying too many wives. The scene shifts to Maria and Growells debating pin money and missing pins, exposing domestic quirks in a humorous sketch from the Washington Times.
A brief humorous exchange unfolds with Mrs. Newman marveling at her baby's mouth as he tries to use it like a foot in a playful miscommunication. Her husband retorts with a gruff hereditary quip about his own past proposal.
In a brief exchange the master of ceremonies asks if the cornerstone can be lifted again, and the master mason replies that not all is possible. The ceremony notes a record receptacle left behind, promising future historians a wealth of use from New York’s legacy.
The anecdote centers on a humorous exchange about a hand of cards. Helen is referenced as the source of the punchline, highlighting a playful remark about perceptions versus reality in a social card game.
In a whispered exchange, Mary faces scrutiny over her appearance and a possible romantic hiccup. The scene hints that Mr. Swasherly might learn the truth about the pearlae Mary received, though her conscience remains supposedly clear.
A light dialogue quotes a self confident politician who, when asked what he will do for supporters if elected, answers with a promise of handsome rewards should voters reelect him for a second term. The tone reflects a hardboiled campaign vibe and satirical edge.
A quotation contrasts physical strength and ceremonial medals for army officers. It argues officers need not be physically fit for fit duties yet must bear numerous medals, highlighting a tension between symbolic honors and actual service requirements.
A puzzled visitor notes every barber shop closed in a small Southern town. An elder explains it is a kind of holiday, describing a monstrous cakewalk in town and that all razors are in use.
An informal scene features an apple seller and a buyer trading phrases about pricing two for 5 cents and three for five. The old woman speaks of apples while the old man responds with a purchase plan, nodding features a playful street dialogue from the Philadelphia Press.
A rural voter rejects debates on gold to silver ratios, insisting the current issue is a clear relation between currency and tangible goods. He specifies wanting a definite link between a five dollar bill and a ton of coal or two bits and a pound of beef.
A fragmentary column records humorous remarks by a French critic about South Dakota. A commentator notes braces in jest about grass widows and a janitor philosopher muses that residents preferred a coal cart to a $10,000 automobile, offering a glimpse of local wit.
In a refined exchange from an era of etiquette, Joe admits Miss Silverton disapproves of his suit. Hred suggests he must patronize another tailor, underscoring social pressure and fashion as subtle power lines in the scene.
A ragtime performer asks why the manager bars baldheaded men from the front row. A singer explains the reason as their shiny pates refract stage light.
A reflective note on willpower facing drinking temptation. The speaker acknowledges a moment of self insight, noting how the sight of a saloon triggers hesitation between continuing to drink and choosing abstinence. The passage hints at inner struggle and resolve.
The exchange compares national coal output with annual totals surpassing one million tons and retail sector output exceeding two million tons. Dix notes the mines produce over a million tons while the retail era moves more than two million tons.
A pair of cryptic remarks about Charlie Stayer and Miss Gotrox hint at a potential engagement or breakup. The quotes suggest skepticism about a marriage plan, provoking speculation on relationships and social expectations.
The slow wooer notes that extreme cold has killed many sheep while a girl, growing impatient, questions his willingness to venture out. The brief exchange contrasts cautious prudence with lingering affection in a rural scene.
A cheeky item jokes about divorce proceedings calling them extradition papers to remove him from a state of matrimony. It plays on the word Utah and a pun on state and extradition. The quip centers on marriage, divorce, and legal terminology with light humor.
A 22-year-old Toledo mother of ten gave birth to quadruplets two boys and two girls on Jan 4 all thriving though doctors doubted one would survive The Spychalski family at 1656 Campbell St born in Poland married at 15 had twins then triplets and a single boy Reno The four newborns Theodore Roosevelt Sam Jones Helen and Dorothy drew interest from medical men and locals A New York bicyclist on a New Jersey hill misread a sign fined for coasting sparked a brief chase with a policeman
A New York anthropologist with a long career in Baffin and Cumberland recalls a dining car encounter. A young Eskimo describes his northward dog sledge journey and a near pass. The elder notes he once built a cairn with a note at a mountain tollsome valley and hints the storyteller may be the same man who built it.
Rudolph Forster of Virginia has been appointed assistant secretary to the president. Born in Washington in October 1872, he is a Columbia Law School graduate who began as a clerk in the U S commission of fisheries in 1894 and transferred to White House duty in 1897. He rose from White House clerk in May 1897 to executive clerk in 1900.
The British embassy in Washington announces Lord Chief Justice Alverstone and Sir Louis Jette, retired Quebec judge, along with Sir John Douglas Armour of Canada as members of the Alaska Boundary commission under the Hay Herbert treaty. Sir Michael Herbert advised the state department of the appointments.
A Philadelphia Record editorial argues natural woodlands outperform dams and ditches as water regulators and cheaper long term assets. It condemns those who favor quick profits, urging legislation to protect community rights and curb selfish ignorance.
A reflection on heart function cites that a 70 year old has pumped about 675,920 tons of blood through the heart. The average heart beats 70 times per minute, totaling 36,792,000 times a year. An 80 year old’s heart may reach about 3,000,000,000 beats in a lifetime. Heart rate varies with posture, beating fewer when lying down.
Champ Clark plans a lecture tour across eastern and central western towns ending in Shenandoah Iowa in May. He agrees with Congressman Benton who noted a member of Congress struggles to live on the $5000 yearly salary.
The article cites Prof. Fernow of Cornell warning that Amber timber will run out long before coal. It suggests removing duties on timber to import more while forests regrow and urges farmers to plant new woodlots and replace forests.
Massive white granite monument marks Bret Harte’s grave in Frimley Churchyard Surrey. A two and a half ton slab supports an Aberdeen granite cross with inscription Bret Harte Aug 25 1837 May 5 1902 Death shall reap the braver harvest. The head bears In faithful remembrance M S Van de Veld. Wreaths and laurel branch left at Christmas bearing Bret Harte’s glory born of goodness never dies.
In a burglary alert period a police inspector checked a young man seen leaving a neighborhood home. The man, appearing respectable yet uneasy, replied he almost lives there and questioned the inspector about the matter, saying his father does not object.
A newly built mammoth dredge for levee construction features a clamshell scoop on a 155 foot boom capable of lifting twenty five tons per bite and dumping earth onto the bank in under a minute.
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