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Newspaper
Scandia Journal
Location
Scandia, Kansas, United States of America
Date
Sep 01, 1905
Page
3
A collage of quips on topics from finance to vaudeville, mosquitoes and gas fumes. Notes reference Mrs Langtry, Judge Nose, Simeon Ford, Harry Lehr and J Pierpont Morgan with jokes about money and a new crockery trust.
A western novelist was imprisoned while pursuing regional flavor by visiting public offices. The piece notes critics joke that most men would rather obtain local color through public roles than jail time.
The actress who desired brown eyes instead of green would have saved money if she had beaten jealousy on her own rather than consulting a doctor.
A Massachusetts judge has decided that an umbrella is private property and notes the person who owns it likely knows it. He implies warnings should be sufficient to deter trespass or removal.
Cassie Chadwick can argue creditors are lucky to receive seven mills on the dollar as she faces claims on her finances. The remark frames the dispute over settlement as a favorable outcome for Chadwick amid ongoing debt proceedings.
A seasoned con man jokes that a sucker is born in New York every thirty seconds and, as he grows, enters the smart set. He frames fraud as a city habit and social ascent.
The Illinois Automobilists' Association plans to push for uniform motor vehicle laws. The move aims to regulate motorists with standard rules across jurisdictions without requiring consent from outside groups.
Paul Morton and James H. Hyd starred in a Newport Pant game where look to shore up salary concerns. The report notes potential moves to allied interests as financial support looms.
A terse quip reflects on a monkey that died after being deprived of its daily coffin nails, noting it was not a promising creature. The fragment hints at a humorous or sardonic newspaper aside.
Philadelphia jokes about heavy showers and thunderclaps illustrating a sleepy city. The quip contrasts grand brag with a sluggish wakefulness, implying the city’s slow pace despite lively boasts.
The Troy New York baseball team has struck. Some fans say this season’s hitting has not been worthy of notice, reflecting disappointment from a portion of the fan base.
In one day in New York police courts, 100 wives applied for warrants charging desertion by their husbands. The note adds a civic warning that married people should keep away from New York.
A woman physician advocates that all wives become hypnotists to put their husbands under influence but notes the plan fails with many men being poor hypnotical subjects.
A Pittsburg man’s one year without his regular daily ablutions owing for a game of cards is barely remarked upon on the streets, suggesting limited public notice of the debt and its nonappearance in daily life.
France issues a public ultimatum to Morocco amid rising tensions in the Maghreb. Paris signals potential military action if demands are not met, prompting regional concern and calls for diplomatic settlement from allied states. The move heightens fears of clashes near contested zones.
Paris reports a council of ministers decision to threaten a military demonstration against Morocco to secure the release of Bouzian a French Algerian merchant arrested at Gharb. Oudjda is favored for a border town seizure to control routes to Rabat with Germany possibly aiding the sultan in resisting.
A Washington conference spurs Minnesota tests to breed disease resistant animals. The study, backed by national and state governments, includes rabbits guinea pigs cattle and hogs to learn improved resistance to tuberculosis and other diseases. The legislature allocated 2500 dollars in the last session for the project.
The semiofficial Temps weighs in on Russia losing ground by delaying peace terms. After Russian reverses in the Far East, it argues Russia should preserve its territory and pay indemnity rather than resist peace efforts. It criticizes delay as refusing to face facts and repeating old Russian tactics.
The British four masted Marlborough Hill carrying case oil and naphtha was struck by lightning Thursday night and burned upper works by Friday. Nine hours later it was towed from Tomkinsville to a wrecking dock with the hull nearly submerged to ease water flooding the hold and save some cargo.
A plague of crickets descends on Omaha Nebraska in overwhelming numbers. The insects cover streets and tram rails, are crushed by wheels, and cripple traffic as residents cope with the disruption.
In Shelbyville Maryland a harvest carnival drew about three thousand attendees to the public square but was forced to disperse Friday night by a sudden cloud of crickets. Local officials reported no injuries and warned residents to stay clear of the area until the insects cleared.
A tornado hit Roosevelt Arizona on Monday, overturning almost every house in the gorge town. Only one resident was injured as the storm damaged homes and disrupted life.
In Muskogee a statehood committee system formed to draft constitution sub divisions. The finance committee proposed souvenir scrip in standard denominations to fund campaign efforts with redemption by the new state, a plan that failed to gain approval.
Reports from Hastings state 25 to 35 people believed drowned in Tabasco Colorado amid flood damage south of Trinidad. Seven houses housing Austrian and Italian laborers were swept away. Tabasco and Berwin coal camps near Rhode canyon. Rail lines Colorado & Southern and others washed out, hindering rescue efforts. Coroner Espy sent to the scene after receiving word of five bodies washed downstream.
General and Mrs. Leonard Wood visited President Roosevelt at Oyster Bay. Wood, commander in the Moro archipelago, had not been seen since arriving from the Philippines. The meeting reportedly covered army operations and island development, and legislative needs for the Philippines.
Manhattan building department faces overwhelming demand as 2,421 plans for new buildings and alterations are filed from January 1 to June 22, totaling $66,106,116 in estimated cost. The volume matches near the record for the entire period since 1900.
Brownville Illinois residents fear a wider outbreak after a Negro laborer from Shreveport admitted he came from a yellow fever zone in the South and lies critically ill in a camp near town. More than 300 workers are exposed to contagion in the same area.
News reports a conflict at the Nushagak salmon packing camp in Alaska between Chinese and Italian workers. Troops were summoned from a nearby base to quell the violence after several were killed or injured on both sides.
Western Postmasters Washington reports new appointments with resignations. In Kansas Mullinville Kiowa county Henry D Jones replaces M L Bidwell who resigned. In Missouri Cape Girardeau county John W Miller replaces Gus G Kurr who resigned.
The British steamer Baralong and Japanese transport Kingio collided in the inland sea Tuesday night. The Kingio was sunk with 127 men drowned, including Japanese soldiers deemed invalid. The Baralong sustained damage but no further details available.
Mrs. Robert Jamieson was scalded on her hands and face by a bursting huckleberry pie in Patterson New Jersey. The pie baked with no air holes exploded shocking bystanders and injuring her.
Reports note indications that the president has traveled toward Tokyo and may engage with Japanese leadership amid ongoing diplomatic exchanges. Observers monitor movements and potential agenda items in east Asia.
In Tokyo Premier Katsura and Chinda held a lengthy conference with Marquis Ito after a cable from Washington. Katsura faces hundreds of letters urging firm Japanese terms and AP notes Pompey events unlikely to sway official stance.
Baron Kaneko had a third interview with President Roosevelt in ten days at Oyster Bay. He said the talk was not an invitation, he came to discuss the situation, and he would not go to Portsmouth or carry messages for the Japanese plenipotentiaries.
The Oklahoma constitutional convention contemplates naming the new state Sequoyah, honoring the Cherokee inventor of the 86 character alphabet. Sequoyah would name the Indian Territory state if Congress ratifies the convention action. The Cherokee Advocate at Tahlequah notes the alphabet’s impact and the paper’s unique Cherokee readership.
Construction starts on a Detroit river tunnel linking Windsor and Detroit with initial shafts on both sides. The underground segment will be about two and a half miles long, surface to surface roughly three miles, with a two to three year build time. Michigan Central ferry service currently used causes delays.
The British gunboat Shearwater boarded the pirate schooner Carmencita in the Bering Sea in mid August and found her papers irregular.
Bailie Crawford an advocate of municipal ownership and Sir John Primrose lord provost of Glasgow will travel to America in the spring to conduct a campaign for municipal ownership. The trip aims to promote Scots Will ran and build support among citizens and officials.
London reports all officers of Rear Admiral Nebogatov's squadron connected to the surrender of warships to Japan in the Sea of Japan will be expelled from the navy. The action targets the leadership involved in the defeat and surrender during the engagement.
Newport Rhode Island reports the battleship Kearsarge under Captain Rodgers collided with a two masted schooner in heavy fog at the outer harbor. The schooner capsized.
Dr Melvin M Page of Page Optical Co Erle Pa recalls severe kidney trouble in 1895 after drinking iced beverages in New York. He describes rapid weight loss from 194 to 122 pounds, then notes improvement after using Deans Kidney Pills with full recovery and weight up to 188 pounds by 1896. Forssale by all druggists 50 cents per box. There is no hope for a man who wastes his time arguing with women and babies.
A nurse from New York introduces Australian-Leaf as a monthly regulator for female weaknesses backache and urinary troubles. Available through The Mother Gray Co LeRoy New Hampshire by mail for 50 cents with a free sample offer.
A reader notes grocers may avoid stocking Defiance Starch, arguing stores fear keeping unsold stock while 12 oz packages sell at higher value than rival cold water starches. A folksy adage about devils and messengers closes the item.
An advertisement notes Red Cross Ball Blue in a large 202 cent package from The Russ Company of South Bend Indiana.
A Buchanan county party touring the Moffat road brought snow home to prove they were above timber line. A snowball hit a Denver man, who exclaimed no gentleman. A rosy cheeked belle admitted she was no gentleman and tossed more snow at the conductor as the party sang verses.
A historic note describes the peculiar flag used by Macedonian insurgents, featuring a red side and a black side as the banner under which fighters rallied.
A Welden Illinois woman recovering from severe stomach trouble and headaches credits a diet of Grape-Nuts for her recovery. She gained weight, regained strength, and no longer suffers prior symptoms, noting her family also thrived on the cereal. The Postum Company promotes Grape-Nuts and the booklet The Road to Wellville.
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