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Newspaper
Scandia Journal
Location
Scandia, Kansas, United States of America
Date
Apr 10, 1903
Page
3
A fragment from The Journal Scandia Kansas quotes a humorous exchange about merit and reputation. It includes a cooky line about rich food causing poor appetite and a peculiar testimonial for Pige’s Cure as a throat and lung remedy. The piece closes with a playful exchange between a poet dreaming of fame and a cynical retort.
An ad promises a one day cure with Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets and a money back guarantee. A forger earlier detected in a petty scheme is noted as saying the remedy is a bad sign, reflecting skepticism about the claim.
Ask Your Dealer For Allen's Foot-Ease. A powder that rests the feet and cures corns bunions swollen sore hot callous aching sweating feet and ingrowing nails. Allen's Foot-Ease makes new or tight shoes easy. At all druggists and shoe stores 25 cents. Accept no substitute. Sample mailed free address Allen 8 Olmsted LeRoy NY.
A Dartmouth college president, Dr. Tucker, is the butt of a seasonal joke after writing a letter to a Vermont farmer praising the farm while noting two faults. The farmer responds with a humorous twist about hogs and a hired girl, confirming no hogs since the president’s last visit.
Velpen town in Indiana hears farmer William O B Sullivan recount a personal cure from rheumatism kidney and heart trouble after using Dodd's Kidney Pills. He warns of prior false remedies but asserts the pills restored his health and confidence in honest remedies.
A government ship Dolphin returns from Cuba with Secretary Moody Senator Hale and Speaker elect Cannon aboard. Amid rough seas they discussed six battleships while Hile and Cannon suffered seasickness. Moody promises ships if they reach shore quickly, Hale counters with larger bids. The item also muses on human foibles and sayings.
A reader complains the front page headlines omit Jeffries or Sharkey and focus on a racially charged crowd, accusing the paper of misrepresenting the boxing news by highlighting “Chinamen” at the entrance fee scene. The terse exchange occurs at a news stand as the reader seeks money back for a misleading display.
Defiance Starch proclaims itself the best cold water starch with a claim of four or more for 10 cents, asserting superior value over rival brands. The readable fragment hints at marketing emphasis on affordability and household utility.
An old ad promotes Red Cross Ball Blue with a 207 size package priced at five cents. It markets Ball Blue as the best option and uses a boastful tone about value and quality. The text also admonishes a belief about earning heaven with a free pass.
An old advertisement touts The Best Results In Starching by Defiance Starch and promotes 10c cigars like Lewis Single Binder as the best tobacco blend. It claims a rich man cannot fix wrong with money and notes a shift from smoking to cheaper cigars.
The Missouri House rejected a $4,000,000 Capitol plan in Jefferson City by 64 nays to 61 yeas. A second proposal to move the capital to St. Louis with a $1,000,000 city contribution was also rejected, supported only by St. Louis members.
The piece lists three reasons for long hair among men of genius. First they forget it is growing, second they like it, and third it is cheaper since they wear it long. This peculiarity may earn a reputation for lack of two pence.
The nearsighted guest congratulates the couple and mistakes the bridegroom. The reply clarifies I am the father of the bride. A line ends with a playful miscue as guests joke about family roles.
A female settler shares her perspective on Western Canada in a letter to Mr. M. V. McInnes, government agent in Detroit. The piece invites readers to contact government agents listed in another advertisement for more information.
A letter from Mrs. John Mclachlan describes Alberta as a growing, healthy region with mild winters, plentiful cattle, farms, schools funded by the government, and a bright future. She praises the climate, grains, hay yields, and the ease of building a new home, urging others to move west for farmland and opportunity.
An advertisement touts Defiance Starch as keeping fabrics white with an 16 ounce size priced at 10 cents. The copy also warns tight lacing as a method to prevent waist expansion.
Some grocers say they do not stock De fiance Starch due to on hand stock of 12 oz brands. Defiance offers 16 oz for the same price and requires no cooking. Buy Defiance Starch for a larger size and convenience.
A Virginia resident extols Tidewater as a wondrous land rich in oysters fish ducks and terrapin farming. He describes the lucrative terrapin trade the need for capital and labor and how farm owners recognize terrapins by their faces amid local rivalries and a curious burglary anecdote.
An advertisement touts Dean's Kidney Pills as a trusted remedy with testimonials from patients in Curitce FauMourn Va and West Haven Conn. It claims relief from back pain heart palpitations sleeplessness and dropsy with sample boxes leading to full purchases. The copy emphasizes public access to trials and fame of the product.
Mr C H of 2319 McKenny Ave Houston Texas reports taking Dean's Kidney Pills from a local druggist and using over half the box. He says his urine flow improved from dribbling to free and he was relieved of symptoms after treatment.
Complete External and Internal Treatment Bathes affected parts with Cuticura Soap to cleanse crusts and scales and soften the cuticle. Dry, then apply Cuticura Ointment to allay itching and inflammation. Take Cuticura Resolvent to cleanse the blood. Aims at instant relief and healing when other remedies fail.
The Natal Supreme Court judge Robert Isaac Finnemore endorses Cuticura to treat high uric acid and eczema, recounting hair loss and disfigurement reversed after a thorough trial. His wife promotes the remedies through the Bible Women's Society and to help others, noting sales and depots in London Paris Sydney Boston for the products.
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